Anyone know of any swimming magazines.
Anyone know of any swimming magazines.
21 March 2012, 08:45 AM
#7
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Depends what you are looking for really http://www.swimming.org/asa/clubs-an...-magazine1479/ is aimed at teachers and coaches if this helps. If you just want to perv at women in swimsuits then playboy might be worth a go.
websites to have a look at
http://www.swimming.org/ios/
http://www.swimming.org/asa/
http://www.speedo.co.uk/en_uk/
websites to have a look at
http://www.swimming.org/ios/
http://www.swimming.org/asa/
http://www.speedo.co.uk/en_uk/
Last edited by The Zohan; 21 March 2012 at 08:51 AM.
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Good luck
21 March 2012, 07:57 PM
#11
Goes like this,
Go to pool,
Pay 50P to park
Pay three quid to swim, having waited in the queue with 20 mini ninjas, a pensioner with a towel, some young guys with edgy haircuts and a mousey woman in a Berghaus anorak.
Get changed, marvel at authentic "Monkey House" Aroma of changing room and amazing anatomical drawings and writings
Realise you don't have 20p for the locker
Get dressed
Go to reception, wait in queue for another ten minutes, get 20p after much huffing off receptionist who is too busy trying to talk to lifeguard
Spend twenty minutes finding a working locker with a wrist band not too badly gnawed, find 20p and and have bitter sweet moment at being unreasonably pleased at finding 20p but dissapointed you didnt find it 20 mins ago.
Get changed
Go for a pee, wonder why toilet has poo all over the place, realise you are barefoot wading in urine, feel sick.
Go through slimy "foot bath", which seems designed to coat your feet in bacteria,
Feel a bit self concious as you get in
Get in to the body temp chlorine, **** and water fluid.
Get bored,
Do 5 lengths breaststroke, loose count
Get in a bit of a race with a bald, half man, half Dolphin hybrid and loose
Sit next to pervy man for a few mins panting
Have "lifeguard" (Bored 18 year old, to busy talking to girl in Bikini) blow his whistle and make you jump
Get annoyed by women swimming widths, kids dicking about, "Serious" swimmers unaware of any other people in the pool and that creepy bloke with a tache and glasses who just sits there looking at women
Get kicked in the face by a man with evil toenails.
Ponder the fact the British public look much better fully clothed as a rule.
Swim into floating sticking plaster, replete with black/red bit.
Get out
Find inexplicable splat on the floor
See blokes displaying their Wangers a bit to enthusiastically in the showers, a minute or less is enough, one bloke still there from before you got in.
Get changed and have bloke bring his kids in and look at you as if you are a predatory paedo
Dip edge of towel in slimy drain down the middle of the passage.
Vow not to go back
Go and get kebab and chips and four cans of Stella as you have earnt it
Go to pool,
Pay 50P to park
Pay three quid to swim, having waited in the queue with 20 mini ninjas, a pensioner with a towel, some young guys with edgy haircuts and a mousey woman in a Berghaus anorak.
Get changed, marvel at authentic "Monkey House" Aroma of changing room and amazing anatomical drawings and writings
Realise you don't have 20p for the locker
Get dressed
Go to reception, wait in queue for another ten minutes, get 20p after much huffing off receptionist who is too busy trying to talk to lifeguard
Spend twenty minutes finding a working locker with a wrist band not too badly gnawed, find 20p and and have bitter sweet moment at being unreasonably pleased at finding 20p but dissapointed you didnt find it 20 mins ago.
Get changed
Go for a pee, wonder why toilet has poo all over the place, realise you are barefoot wading in urine, feel sick.
Go through slimy "foot bath", which seems designed to coat your feet in bacteria,
Feel a bit self concious as you get in
Get in to the body temp chlorine, **** and water fluid.
Get bored,
Do 5 lengths breaststroke, loose count
Get in a bit of a race with a bald, half man, half Dolphin hybrid and loose
Sit next to pervy man for a few mins panting
Have "lifeguard" (Bored 18 year old, to busy talking to girl in Bikini) blow his whistle and make you jump
Get annoyed by women swimming widths, kids dicking about, "Serious" swimmers unaware of any other people in the pool and that creepy bloke with a tache and glasses who just sits there looking at women
Get kicked in the face by a man with evil toenails.
Ponder the fact the British public look much better fully clothed as a rule.
Swim into floating sticking plaster, replete with black/red bit.
Get out
Find inexplicable splat on the floor
See blokes displaying their Wangers a bit to enthusiastically in the showers, a minute or less is enough, one bloke still there from before you got in.
Get changed and have bloke bring his kids in and look at you as if you are a predatory paedo
Dip edge of towel in slimy drain down the middle of the passage.
Vow not to go back
Go and get kebab and chips and four cans of Stella as you have earnt it
21 March 2012, 10:18 PM
#15
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Excellent Jacko! Spot on! 
Although you missed out the two women 'swimming' two abreast, chopsing non-stop, and the old boy doing the 'sideways breast stroke'. And the blokes with too much testosterone, wearing those paddle thingies on their hands, thrashing up and down in the fast lane, causing a huge wake, which you end up swallowing.
Although you missed out the two women 'swimming' two abreast, chopsing non-stop, and the old boy doing the 'sideways breast stroke'. And the blokes with too much testosterone, wearing those paddle thingies on their hands, thrashing up and down in the fast lane, causing a huge wake, which you end up swallowing.
