Worst yet funniest thing...
21 November 2011, 10:09 PM
#1
Worst yet funniest thing...
Just wondering what the worst thing you have ever done to a mate that was so funny it still tickles when thinking back....
Mine: we dared a mate to walk alone the top edge of a feathered Fence. Naturally he slipped and scrapped all down his inner leg and BANG right on the jewels.
It was funny as hell seeing his face in that face of pain beyond belief.. I felt sorry but it does make me chuckle...
Mine: we dared a mate to walk alone the top edge of a feathered Fence. Naturally he slipped and scrapped all down his inner leg and BANG right on the jewels.
It was funny as hell seeing his face in that face of pain beyond belief.. I felt sorry but it does make me chuckle...
21 November 2011, 10:20 PM
#2
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Before a schools rugby match, we covered the hookers jockstrap in deep heat ( not whilst he was wearing it, before anyone says anything ) and the whole team were in hysterics when he had to go off after just a few minutes 
Putting another mates motorbike (his pride and joy) in the for sale section of our local rag for a rediculously cheap price was amusing as his phone rang off the hook for days
Putting another mates motorbike (his pride and joy) in the for sale section of our local rag for a rediculously cheap price was amusing as his phone rang off the hook for days
21 November 2011, 10:24 PM
#3
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It's got to be racist jokes.
I don't know why, but they just tickle my funnybone and I cant help but laugh.
For example.
You cant even say "black paint!" anymore.
You have to be more sensitive and say something like "please paint the wall, Leeroy"
I don't know why, but they just tickle my funnybone and I cant help but laugh.
For example.
You cant even say "black paint!" anymore.
You have to be more sensitive and say something like "please paint the wall, Leeroy"
22 November 2011, 10:12 AM
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so many things that i have done to others, one that is not particularly cruel but sticks in my mind was the day that i got hold of a collegues car keys, went to his car and emptied a large amount of the bits from inside a paper hole punch into his air vent, then adjusted fans to maximum and pointed it towards his face, sit back and wait. end of work day came and he goes out to his car, we were all stood waiting, turns his ignition on and all you could see was a ton of confetti flying around inside his car.
took him hours to hooover it all up next day, and for weeks after little bits were still coming out. the gift that keeps on giving.
took him hours to hooover it all up next day, and for weeks after little bits were still coming out. the gift that keeps on giving.
22 November 2011, 10:25 AM
#6
so many things that i have done to others, one that is not particularly cruel but sticks in my mind was the day that i got hold of a collegues car keys, went to his car and emptied a large amount of the bits from inside a paper hole punch into his air vent, then adjusted fans to maximum and pointed it towards his face, sit back and wait. end of work day came and he goes out to his car, we were all stood waiting, turns his ignition on and all you could see was a ton of confetti flying around inside his car.
took him hours to hooover it all up next day, and for weeks after little bits were still coming out. the gift that keeps on giving.
took him hours to hooover it all up next day, and for weeks after little bits were still coming out. the gift that keeps on giving.
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22 November 2011, 12:31 PM
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so many things that i have done to others, one that is not particularly cruel but sticks in my mind was the day that i got hold of a collegues car keys, went to his car and emptied a large amount of the bits from inside a paper hole punch into his air vent, then adjusted fans to maximum and pointed it towards his face, sit back and wait. end of work day came and he goes out to his car, we were all stood waiting, turns his ignition on and all you could see was a ton of confetti flying around inside his car.
took him hours to hooover it all up next day, and for weeks after little bits were still coming out. the gift that keeps on giving.
took him hours to hooover it all up next day, and for weeks after little bits were still coming out. the gift that keeps on giving.
Took him ages to find out where the rattle was coming from. "Oh the frustration of not being able to find the fault".
22 November 2011, 12:41 PM
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This is a slow burner of a joke as you never know when it will hit...
1. When in London, collect a dozen or so of those 'woman of service' cards you find in phone boxes
2. When next in a mates car, place the cards under the passenger sun visor
3. wait
We did this to a mate of mine many years ago, the next person to get in his car on a sunny day was his Mum
1. When in London, collect a dozen or so of those 'woman of service' cards you find in phone boxes
2. When next in a mates car, place the cards under the passenger sun visor
3. wait
We did this to a mate of mine many years ago, the next person to get in his car on a sunny day was his Mum
22 November 2011, 01:10 PM
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Just wondering what the worst thing you have ever done to a mate that was so funny it still tickles when thinking back....
Mine: we dared a mate to walk alone the top edge of a feathered Fence. Naturally he slipped and scrapped all down his inner leg and BANG right on the jewels.
It was funny as hell seeing his face in that face of pain beyond belief.. I felt sorry but it does make me chuckle...
Mine: we dared a mate to walk alone the top edge of a feathered Fence. Naturally he slipped and scrapped all down his inner leg and BANG right on the jewels.
It was funny as hell seeing his face in that face of pain beyond belief.. I felt sorry but it does make me chuckle...
Les
22 November 2011, 04:02 PM
#13
Mate was full of bravado after getting a bit merry. Decided to sit on the car bonnet while it was idling.
Not too sure what came over me (as I was stone-cold sober) but thought it'd be comical to accelerate gently and then put the handbrake on .....
Poor guy went flying!!
Luckily he was so p1ssed he didn't feel it as much. Still has the scar on his hand and everything! Scraped his jeans too ..... always makes me chuchly
Not too sure what came over me (as I was stone-cold sober) but thought it'd be comical to accelerate gently and then put the handbrake on .....
Poor guy went flying!!
Luckily he was so p1ssed he didn't feel it as much. Still has the scar on his hand and everything! Scraped his jeans too ..... always makes me chuchly
22 November 2011, 04:43 PM
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I've quite a few too but these always make me chuckle.
I was working late once and one of the lads in the department got off a chair and saw an old coffee stain, I quickly convinced him that he had shat himself and it had leaked out, the expression on his face still makes me laugh
I got the same guy another time when he was late for a meeting with a group of people we had never met, I told him as he walked through the door that he just had missed the introductions and he needed to tell us who he was, how long he'd been here and one interesting fact about himself. We hadn't done that, but he didn't know. That made us all laugh and was a good way to break the ice!
I was working late once and one of the lads in the department got off a chair and saw an old coffee stain, I quickly convinced him that he had shat himself and it had leaked out, the expression on his face still makes me laugh
I got the same guy another time when he was late for a meeting with a group of people we had never met, I told him as he walked through the door that he just had missed the introductions and he needed to tell us who he was, how long he'd been here and one interesting fact about himself. We hadn't done that, but he didn't know. That made us all laugh and was a good way to break the ice!
22 November 2011, 06:09 PM
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i think mine was when we were working away, we had a total idiot working with us that got totally drunk every night and fell out with every one so we waited for him to pass out one night and crept into his room and superglued his leg to the radiator at the side of the bed then we adjusted the thermostat to maximum,, youch lol
22 November 2011, 06:46 PM
#20
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mate pulled up at a meet and he was giving his car some stick just before he parked it, we chucked a smoke bomb underneath the engine
even we tried to hold him back from using his extinguisher he was nearly in tears, so were we
even we tried to hold him back from using his extinguisher he was nearly in tears, so were we
22 November 2011, 07:10 PM
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Was working on a factory line with this guy whos car was in the garage for some work. I phoned the line phone from another phone on the line. The line leader got him on the phone and the following happened:-
Me: Hello Richard, its the garage
Rich: Hello mate, all done?
Me: Bit of bad news Im afraid, the subframe is bent and the car is a write off Im afraid.
Rich (stuttering now, I forgot he had a stutter!): Oh no, can I not drive the car now then?
Me: I would be irresponsible if I let you drive it. I can offer you £100 as scrap value today if you like.
Rich: I, I, I.......uh, uh...(you get the idea!) Ill have to speak to my mum and dad!
At this point I felt bad so I wolf whistled him from the other line, and said hello on the phone.
I had him thinking his Metro was written off!!
Me: Hello Richard, its the garage
Rich: Hello mate, all done?
Me: Bit of bad news Im afraid, the subframe is bent and the car is a write off Im afraid.
Rich (stuttering now, I forgot he had a stutter!): Oh no, can I not drive the car now then?
Me: I would be irresponsible if I let you drive it. I can offer you £100 as scrap value today if you like.
Rich: I, I, I.......uh, uh...(you get the idea!) Ill have to speak to my mum and dad!
At this point I felt bad so I wolf whistled him from the other line, and said hello on the phone.
I had him thinking his Metro was written off!!
22 November 2011, 07:36 PM
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One snowy winter many years ago me and my mates went out for a walk up the local mountain. Halfway up the hill there is a wall with a big drop on the other side dropping down to a stream so we dared our mate Stiggsy to jump off the wall and into the huge snowdrift that was there. What we didn't realise is that there was an old metal spiked fence just under the snow onto which Stiggsy duly jumped resulting in him getting impaled on the fence. We didn't know what he was screaming about at first until we saw the red snow appearing around his inner thigh.
We ran off to get help which we got from an at the time famous hypnotist called Arnall Bloxham who lived just down the road. The ambulancemen aided by 2 policemen had to walk about 500m up the hill with a stretcher and carry Stiggsy back down the hill to the awaiting ambulance before he was carted off to hospital. Although he lost a lot of blood he was out of hospital 2 days later and was a little sore but made a full recovery.
Chip
We ran off to get help which we got from an at the time famous hypnotist called Arnall Bloxham who lived just down the road. The ambulancemen aided by 2 policemen had to walk about 500m up the hill with a stretcher and carry Stiggsy back down the hill to the awaiting ambulance before he was carted off to hospital. Although he lost a lot of blood he was out of hospital 2 days later and was a little sore but made a full recovery.
Chip
Last edited by Chip; 22 November 2011 at 07:38 PM.
23 November 2011, 12:14 AM
#24
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I shagged my best mate's mum once.....honestly, the things we got up to! We laugh about it now, of course, 'though he maintains that it absolutely ruined her funeral.
Last edited by JTaylor; 23 November 2011 at 09:06 AM.
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23 November 2011, 11:53 AM
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When I was in the army out in Cyprus we had ceiling fans in our rooms, one of our Lance Corporals who was a complete **** ended up with talcum powder liberally sprinkled on the top of the fan blades, when he came in and turned his fan on the talc went absolutely everywhere covering him and everything else in white talc
23 November 2011, 03:00 PM
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If we are going down that route then I was on a stag do once and the stag was being a bit of a ****, he left his vodka redbull with me and his soon to be father-in-law while he went to the loo. We took the opportunity to top it up a bit and didn't mind him being such a prat then when he came back. The funny thing though was the day after when, I kid you not, he turned to me and said 'I'm going to have another one of those drinks tonight, I don't know what it was about it but it tasted really nice!!!'
23 November 2011, 03:57 PM
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my mate doing a "top decker" in friends toilet
and when we were young, load of boys staying at mates house, one trying so hard to go to sleep, was dozing off, when the other came over, pulled his boxers to one side and farted right on his face, was so close he wouldve felt it blowing on his cheek
dont think ive ever laughed so much in all my lkife. such a horrible but funny thing
theyve never been friends since.#
also my mate was having to meet up with his gf to discuss how much he was drinking, so we convinced him to go to pub with us for a quick pint before, he ended up fcked, trying to talk to her, slurring his words - isttsss ok daarling, im jsssst having few drinksss an that. haha
and when we were young, load of boys staying at mates house, one trying so hard to go to sleep, was dozing off, when the other came over, pulled his boxers to one side and farted right on his face, was so close he wouldve felt it blowing on his cheek
dont think ive ever laughed so much in all my lkife. such a horrible but funny thing
theyve never been friends since.#
also my mate was having to meet up with his gf to discuss how much he was drinking, so we convinced him to go to pub with us for a quick pint before, he ended up fcked, trying to talk to her, slurring his words - isttsss ok daarling, im jsssst having few drinksss an that. haha
15 December 2011, 03:39 AM
#30
Possible the worst i don2 was for my mate's 21'st . . Deck 21 tequila sunrises..followed by 10 or so aftershock to start a night with. . He refused. .
So later on when we was at a flat. . he was getting in about some lass. . when he had his back turned. . slipped a well known substance that can keep you awake all night. .however can interfere with not being able to "get it up"
Couple of hours later . . i got the living **** kicked out of me . . after he went into a bedroom with her and well . .nothing happened. . i had to explain why lol
Friends. . Why else are we here
So later on when we was at a flat. . he was getting in about some lass. . when he had his back turned. . slipped a well known substance that can keep you awake all night. .however can interfere with not being able to "get it up"
Couple of hours later . . i got the living **** kicked out of me . . after he went into a bedroom with her and well . .nothing happened. . i had to explain why lol
Friends. . Why else are we here