Trust the Irish to sort out the EU debt crisis
18 November 2011, 12:10 PM
#1
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Trust the Irish to sort out the EU debt crisis
It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town.
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note andruns next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
Simples!
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note andruns next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
Simples!
21 November 2011, 03:41 PM
#4
Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
The hotel owner keeps €21 to pay the vat on the german's room bill, and takes the other €79 to pay part of his bill to the butcher. The butcher keeps €16.59 to pay his vat and uses the other €62.41 to part pay the pig farmer, who keeps €13.11 to pay the vat and uses the other €49.30 to part pay the Farmer's Co-op. The Farmer's Co-op keeps €10.35 for vat and uses the remaining €38.95 to part pay his debt at the pub. The publican keeps €8.18 for his vat bill and used the other €30.77 to pay part of what he owes the local prostitute. She doesn't pay vat, so uses all the €30.77 to pay part of her outstanding room bill at the hotel.
The german comes downstairs unhappy with all the rooms. The hotel owner has to find €69.23 from his own pocket to refund the €100 bill. So everyone is still in debt (although less than before) and a bit poorer, except for the Irish government which has managed to reduce its debts by €69.23.
The hotel owner keeps €21 to pay the vat on the german's room bill, and takes the other €79 to pay part of his bill to the butcher. The butcher keeps €16.59 to pay his vat and uses the other €62.41 to part pay the pig farmer, who keeps €13.11 to pay the vat and uses the other €49.30 to part pay the Farmer's Co-op. The Farmer's Co-op keeps €10.35 for vat and uses the remaining €38.95 to part pay his debt at the pub. The publican keeps €8.18 for his vat bill and used the other €30.77 to pay part of what he owes the local prostitute. She doesn't pay vat, so uses all the €30.77 to pay part of her outstanding room bill at the hotel.
The german comes downstairs unhappy with all the rooms. The hotel owner has to find €69.23 from his own pocket to refund the €100 bill. So everyone is still in debt (although less than before) and a bit poorer, except for the Irish government which has managed to reduce its debts by €69.23.
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