Ant

i'm shocked and gutted and just totally numb.

we went out for a meal yesterday to celebrate my grandads birthday.he was all fit and healthy and we was talking about arsenal(his team)


this morning my mum calls me to tell me he's collapsed and died



I've never really had to deal with death in the family as when my grandma passed i was young.

I feel helpless as i've never seen my dad upset and feel i can't do anything.

Gear Head

iTrader: (2)

Sorry to hear that fella. Never nice, especially when it is so close to home.
At least you saw him at his best and spoke about what he loved best.

I know it doesn't seem it now, but much better for them to go like that than to slowly watch them die as I did with my Nan who died this February. She had dementia for 8 years or so. The last 6 months of her life were spent in bed, mostly drugged to high heaven.

Have a beer mate and talk about footy with chums, just what your Grandad would have wanted.

CREWJ

That's tough man. There's not much you can do tbh. Best thing is to be strong around him.

Hysteria1983

So sorry to hear this Ant

Your dad will be upset, there isn't much you can do other than be there for him. I'm sure he will feel better just knowing that you are there to support him.

Coffin Dodger

As above, at least you saw him at his best, had a good bit of banter over the footy etc. Think I'd rather go out like that than put my family through some slow lingering death or worse still get dementia.

I glad we went to see my Great Aunt last time we were at my parents and took our baby boy to see her. We knew she wasn't well but was in good enough form, jovial, glad to see us and the new arrival. She passed less than a month later but I'm so pleased that she got to meet the boy as it would have made her day

Dingdongler

Sorry to hear your bad news mate

scotty_b

Feel for you fella. Not a day goes by that I dont think about my Grandad. Only been 3 years but both grandparents lived with us for last 6-7 years to improve their lived and best times seeing them so much.

Not nice though buddy glad you had a happy last day and sure your Grandad would have loved spending that last day with his family who quite clearly loved him rotten.

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

Sorry tohear that Mate. Take some comfort from the fact his family all had opportunity to say good bye yesterday.

Ant

Cheers for all the comments guys.

jono300

iTrader: (8)

Yep sad news that mate but your doing the right thing by talking about it, not easy but try stay strong for your dads sake . must have come as a real shock especially so soon after being with him. as has been said at least he was not in pain for a long time and you have some nice memories off being with him in his last hours, would have been worse if you had not seen him for a good while before he went.

dnc

Sorry to hear of your loss.

The words from Gear Head above are spot on IMO

The Dogs B******s

scoobiesteve103

i know how u feel mate 6 months ago my sister passed out and went in to a coma,i got 2 the hospital only 2 watch them switch the machines off felt totaly useless but it will get better just remember that the last time you seen him he was happy and loving spending time with his family. all the best

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

Really bad day but at least he died suddenly without lingering on and he enjoyed himself with his family before his death. It's never nice when someone dies but at least it was quick and you got to spend time with him shortly before and he enjoyed himself. Not much else I can say I'm afraid.

RIP

Lee247

So sorry, Ant Just be there for your Dad and try to be strong. Will be hard, but I am sure you can do it. I lost both my Grandads before I was 21 and lost my Dad when I was 22. It's awful but time heals. Take care

Brun

Echo what has been said above. Nothing worse than seeing someone decline over a number of years.
My Grandma died back in August after battling Alzeimers for a number of years - for the last 3/4 years she didn't know me from Adam
Although it seems wrong for someone to be taken who seems as fit as a fiddle, rest on the knowledge that you had 100% of the person right to the end.

P1 LTD

Sorry to hear your sad loss mate

GazTheHat

That's really bad. Feel for you fella.

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

Feel for you mate, never nice

Leslie

Very sorry that happened Ant. Hope you can help your Dad to get over it as well. That situation is always hard.

Les

njkmrs

As said ,better to go quick like that than drawn out and suffering .Takes time but you will feel better as time moves on .Cherish the memories .

ScoobyDriverWannabe

Condolences to you and your family

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Sorry to hear that Ant, always hard when you lose a Grandparent, my Grandad died in 1988, got back off holiday to be met by everybody at the airport to be told that, he was a big personality and I still think of him quite a bit, my grandma went the year before. Have been lucky with my mums parents still with us but my grandard isnt far off 91 and has prostate cancer and is pretty much blind, he is still the same dignified and intelligent man, he still tries with things despite his frailty, he was laughing the other day when he asked me to take one of his wrought iron gates off so he could paint it, he managed one but this was too heavy, he was laughing as he was wondering what kind of a job he would do, he says it is the price for living so long. Complete contrast with my father in law who is a grumpy misanthropic sad old case.

I remember when my grandad died, it did leave me numb, he was ex RAF, I had a dream where he was chatting to me, few nuggets of advice about life, then he got up and left and got into a green MOD cavalier saloon, freaky, I woke up and I could smell him, I suspect it was just my brain coming to terms with it but it was very very vivid, still feel a presence sometimes and I am totally sceptical of stuff like that, doesn't feel like he totally went somehow.

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

Sorry to hear that, only advice i can give having lost my dad last year, is think of the good times, it gets easier, just be there for your dad, he won't be himself for a while, and he will have moments of sadness when he seems ok, but just bear with him he will come round, something happens to a man when he loses his farther,it's almost like your guiding light has gone and your on your own without any back up.
He will talk when he is ready just be around him and keep him busy so he does not have time to dwell, and remind him of the good times.

RIP.