bigsinky

We just got the call that my wife's mother, who's been residing in a home up North, has passed away during the night.
Sobbing, my wife put down the phone and said to me, "At least she's gone to a better place."

"Love, I know Newcastle is a $hithole," I replied, "but, worse than Hell?"


I had a young Indian boy staying at our house for a couple of days. Knowing that he was unaccustomed with our western ways, I decided to give him a tour of the house.

"This is the lounge. This is where we watch TV and relax. This is the bedroom. This is where we sleep"

"Ah, I recognise that I smell. This where I can go to the toilet?" he asked.

"Feel free", I replied "but this is where my wife tries to cook!"


All men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs.

The problem is that, after a few years, the nympho leaves but the maniac doesn't.



I'll get my coat, shall i?

Jamie

Utter rubbish!

bigsinky

thanks for the critique J. I love you to.

Jamie

Sorry but not one of them made me laugh.

bigsinky

a sign of joylessness and depression. have you spoken to your GP yet?

DJ_Jon

iTrader: (7)

Newcastle isn't a ****hole, on the other hand, your jokes are ****e.

bigsinky

they are not that bad ffs, i have heard worse. why am i even defending myself? LIGAF what you all think

BOB.T

When my dog shakes she pulls a funny face and her feet skid around, she did that earlier and I laughed more then than when I read you jokes.

RA Dunk

Poor effort from a person of your stature Bigsinky, I was honestly expecting better.

bigsinky

you have to be careful on her now. no racist, sectarian, bigotted, kiddy or otherwise jokes as i am likely to offend someone. mother in law jokes are only so funny ya know.

Jamie

On who? the mother in law ?

stevebt

iTrader: (8)

My mother inlaw has just died.

bigsinky

my question to you is.......does she live in Newcastle?

hodgy0_2

yes it is -- I spent nearly a year there,


I think it was a Thursday

Carlh

i thought the jokes were pretty ok dude. some people on SN just dont have a sense of humour. Damn. They do, just check out some of their cars lol

stevebt

iTrader: (8)

Well considering I'm from Newcastle, but she hasn't really died