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Found soiled underpants on my front garden

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Old 11 May 2011, 05:13 PM
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skoobidude
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Default Found soiled underpants on my front garden

Went to local pub last night for a couple. When I got home I noticed some paper beneath a bush on the edge of my front lawn and retrieved it. Then whilst walking down my drive I spotted something else beneath the same bush and, again put my hand it to pick up what appeared to be old cloth...
What came out was two pairs of CK boxers, one black one white. The white items were clearly soiled and note I had the gusset/genital section pinched between my thumb and forefinger which was stained yellow!!
I didn't inspect any further as I heaved and threw them into the bin.

Fingers duly sanitised several times!

Now these pants must have been inserted into my plant (I daren't say "my bush") from my property side, rather than pavement which suggests the culprits/bummers were probably performing on my lawn. I don't know how long they had been there but sometimes wish I had CCTV which I would simply be able to rewind. Not that I want to stare at naked chaps, just curious as to how these garments came to be..

Nick

Last edited by skoobidude; 11 May 2011 at 05:15 PM.
Old 11 May 2011, 05:18 PM
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The Zohan
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Do you live near Camoscooby? - likely he was cottaging, he loves all ****!

Last edited by The Zohan; 11 May 2011 at 05:54 PM.
Old 11 May 2011, 05:19 PM
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skoobidude
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Ha ha ha ha I hope not. Ha ha ha!
Old 11 May 2011, 05:43 PM
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donny andi
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Ha ha ha........you should of listed them on eBay.......there's a few strange ones who'd of stuck a bid in
Old 11 May 2011, 05:45 PM
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alcazar
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Once found a HUGE pile of loggers and some used chip-wrapper.........used as toilet paper, in my back garden.

Dirty barstewards!
Old 11 May 2011, 05:52 PM
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Dingdongler
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Sounds like you live on Skid Row
Old 11 May 2011, 06:17 PM
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tony de wonderful
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LOL at least no used condoms.
Old 11 May 2011, 06:35 PM
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Lee247
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Originally Posted by Dingdongler
Sounds like you live on Skid Row

Old 11 May 2011, 06:38 PM
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tony de wonderful
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Originally Posted by skoobidude
I didn't inspect any further as I heaved and threw them into the bin.
Seems a waste of designer gear. A couple of washes and they would have been good to go.
Old 11 May 2011, 06:40 PM
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Sorry, but laughing so much im nearly crying lol
Old 11 May 2011, 06:45 PM
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It was the camoscoobys after Zohan gave him a hair doo down below and they got a little to excited
Old 11 May 2011, 06:46 PM
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Quote " which suggests the culprits/bummers were probably performing on my lawn ".

Any handprints / fingerprints on the bonnet area off the car thats the main thing to worry about !!!!
Old 11 May 2011, 06:48 PM
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tony de wonderful
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Originally Posted by skoobidude
the culprits/bummers were probably performing on my lawn.
Do 'bummers' need to totally remove their underwear to get it on?
Old 11 May 2011, 06:49 PM
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Would have been worse if you found them in your bedroom
Old 11 May 2011, 06:49 PM
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DCI Gene Hunt
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Originally Posted by tony de wonderful
Do 'bummers' need to totally remove their underwear to get it on?
I'll check.....







TDW, you have a PM
Old 11 May 2011, 07:23 PM
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tony de wonderful
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
I'll check.....







TDW, you have a PM
That was quick. How did you even have time to lube up?
Old 11 May 2011, 07:31 PM
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Originally Posted by prodriverules
It was the camoscoobys after Zohan gave him a hair doo down below and they got a little to excited
evening son
Old 11 May 2011, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by nick172sport
evening son
Evening dad,he better hadn't look to hard as he may just start finding white sticky patches on the ground
Old 11 May 2011, 07:45 PM
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Have a word with you missus mate

I reckon its that shady M.I.B type goverment department, you know the one that,

Puts bike tyres on lamposts
Shoes on central reservations
**** in parks
Props hub caps up on street corners
kids gloves on fences

Now they are branching out to skiddy pants in gardens.
Old 11 May 2011, 07:47 PM
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Will at it again.
Old 11 May 2011, 08:10 PM
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what would scooby do
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Originally Posted by tony de wonderful
Do 'bummers' need to totally remove their underwear to get it on?
I would imagine so, sounds like you have being doing it wrong
Old 11 May 2011, 08:48 PM
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tony de wonderful
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Should have got CSI to swab the underwear for evidence.
Old 11 May 2011, 10:08 PM
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one of the small apendaged dorrman from the bodybuilding theads probably had a "moment" after a protein shake and the consequences landed in your front garden
Old 12 May 2011, 12:10 AM
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Originally Posted by skoobidude
.The white items were clearly soiled and note I had the gusset/genital section pinched between my thumb and forefinger which was stained yellow!!
I didn't inspect any further as I heaved and threw them into the bin.

Fingers duly sanitised several times!


Nick
Talk about sods law or should that be sodomys law?
Old 12 May 2011, 07:32 AM
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fatscoobfella1
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I was going into Michael Caines Champagne bar in Manchester last year. We parked behind the building and walked up the side street to gain entrance.

On the middle of the pavement right outside the side entrance was a pair of boxers that was full of tods and slurry..Me and the missus both heaved,it was really horrible.I couldnt shake the image all night.

Mind you,we later ate at the Yang Sing and i think that tucking into the undercrackers may have been a better option
Old 12 May 2011, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by fatscoobfella1
I was going into Michael Caines Champagne bar in

a pair of boxers that was full of tods and slurry..Me and the missus both heaved,it was really horrible.I couldnt shake the image all night.

"You were only meant to blow the bloody doors off"
Old 12 May 2011, 12:59 PM
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That's disgusting, but still hilarious!
Old 12 May 2011, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by jono300
Quote " which suggests the culprits/bummers were probably performing on my lawn ".

Any handprints / fingerprints on the bonnet area off the car thats the main thing to worry about !!!!
What about hand and knee prints on the lawn?
Old 12 May 2011, 05:54 PM
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skoobidude
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I now wonder that due to George Michael's imfamous news back in 1998, anonymous sex between men in a public lavatory (or Cottaging) could have evolved to the front lawns of any random property. After all, George's lyrics to a subsequent song suggests "let's go outside..."
Old 12 May 2011, 06:08 PM
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Shame it wasn't female underwear you could have worn it on your head and masturbated with the fury of a thousand angry Gods.


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