VERY SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED!
19 April 2002, 01:14 PM
#1
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OK to cut a long story short I have been seeing someone who is seperated but not divorced and now her 'husband' has got my details and wants to pay me a visit! WHAT DO I DO? I am not frightened of him, but he could do anything to car or property or me or parents (192.com is a real giveaway at times!!!) when I am not looking. I have threatening emails from him etc. I have also told her I want to speak to him to find out what the **** he wants with my address details! SENSIBLE REPLIES PLEASE FOLKS AS I NEED ADVICE, not suggestions about paying him a visit first if u get my drift!
19 April 2002, 01:24 PM
#2
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hmmm,
Take any evidence you have ( emails etc ) to the cop shop and ask their advice. Have you just "heard" he is paying you a visit or has he said so in an email ?
Don't know how much you'd need for a restraining order.. soon as he breaks it I *think* he can be arrested on sight ? not sure.
Take any evidence you have ( emails etc ) to the cop shop and ask their advice. Have you just "heard" he is paying you a visit or has he said so in an email ?
Don't know how much you'd need for a restraining order.. soon as he breaks it I *think* he can be arrested on sight ? not sure.
19 April 2002, 01:27 PM
#3
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speak to him. He may just be pissed off, but have no real ill will towards you. If he threatens you etc take the e-mails to the police. you probably wont get a restraining order, but if anything happens they will know where to look.
Best advice is only to date single women
Best advice is only to date single women
19 April 2002, 01:30 PM
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Yeah mate, go to the bill and let them know. Then contact him saying that the police have been informed and will be down on him like a ton of bricks if he trys anything. also let him know that your property is under CCTV surveillence and any crimes will be immediatly reported. This should put him in the line of fire if anything happens to you or your property. Let him know that you aint ******* about and that he will be the first against the wall if anything happens. whether it is actually him or not.
astraboy.
P.S. was she worth it? *gets coat and runs away*
astraboy.
P.S. was she worth it? *gets coat and runs away*
19 April 2002, 01:30 PM
#5
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Thanks Sparks, don't know how serious he is but he is a friggin loon I know that much. He has said stuff in emails about paying me a visit and how he cant wait to meet me! He is very childish indeed, however I am not not sure how to react if he does turn up. Dont particulalry want to get the rozzers involved, but will do if he shows up I think, then I know its a problem.
19 April 2002, 01:33 PM
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GOod luck mate, similar thing happening to me ( he's probably all talk, most people are, he's jsut pissed off that youve shagged his missus etc but when it comes down to it he will probly do bugger all. ) unless hes huge / hard then Id be scared if I were you 
Just tell him youve informed the ole bill that hes been threatening you, that'll make him think twice.
Just tell him youve informed the ole bill that hes been threatening you, that'll make him think twice.
19 April 2002, 01:35 PM
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LMAO @ astraboy!! I couldnt possibly answer that m8 Think I will speak to him tonight, and as far as I am concerned she is single if seperated and wanting a divorce. Whether he thinks/wants different is not my problem as far as I'm concerned. Oh and as for not being too serious, from what I gather he is very p!ssed and wants revenge so I would guess he wants to do a little more than shake my hand!
And there was me wanting a quiet relationship after my last one and end up with this b0ll0x lol
Cheers for the replies folks!
Think I will speak to him tonight, and as far as I am concerned she is single if seperated and wanting a divorce. Whether he thinks/wants different is not my problem as far as I'm concerned. Oh and as for not being too serious, from what I gather he is very p!ssed and wants revenge so I would guess he wants to do a little more than shake my hand!And there was me wanting a quiet relationship after my last one and end up with this b0ll0x lol
Cheers for the replies folks!
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19 April 2002, 02:01 PM
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I wouldn't worry about it. As said b4 most people are all talk when they haven't got to front you.
I've had it a few times with different people, all sort of threats coming my way until one day you bump into them in the street and......
nothing. All talk.
Then again if he's broadmoor material sell your motor and buy a one way ticket
I've had it a few times with different people, all sort of threats coming my way until one day you bump into them in the street and......
nothing. All talk.
Then again if he's broadmoor material sell your motor and buy a one way ticket
19 April 2002, 02:11 PM
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If you really are worried about him coming round your house and sorting out either you or your car, buy a CCTV kit. I have just bought a two camera kit from B&Q for £75.00. The kit includes everything needed to install it and the scart lead plugs straight in to the back of the video!
Good quality black & white pictures with sound!
Good quality black & white pictures with sound!
19 April 2002, 02:28 PM
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Jen exactly, but he doesn't want her to see anyone else and thinks he should batter any bloke who shows any interest in her. He is a complete ******* moron, im a much bigger bloke than he is by quite a long way and he thinks he is gonna batter me one? I am more worried he would go for my car once he sees me as this wont hit him back
I do think he is all talk, but you cant ignore the fact he is a loon and capable of doing something stupid. Plus I have wound him up even more by not replying to any of his emails. So I think he is quite an angry little puppy LMAO.
I do think he is all talk, but you cant ignore the fact he is a loon and capable of doing something stupid. Plus I have wound him up even more by not replying to any of his emails. So I think he is quite an angry little puppy LMAO.
19 April 2002, 03:01 PM
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Perhaps she should make it very clear to him, that she has moved on. Once she loved him, but now does not, and he no longer has any influence over her at all. It would be better for him to accept that and move on to.
I was stalked earlier this year, and the police tried to reason with her, but in reality could do nothing until criminal damage occurred, and then when she ripped the badge of my (boy) friends Merc (her ex), she was arrested.
It still did not stop, the only thing that stopped it, was when we threatened that we would inform her work place of this behaviour and the amount of time she spent on the phone, stalking, letter writing etc when she was supposed to be working. That worked, stopped it dead.
Good luck!
[Edited by Dr Lurve - 4/19/2002 3:02:52 PM]
I was stalked earlier this year, and the police tried to reason with her, but in reality could do nothing until criminal damage occurred, and then when she ripped the badge of my (boy) friends Merc (her ex), she was arrested.
It still did not stop, the only thing that stopped it, was when we threatened that we would inform her work place of this behaviour and the amount of time she spent on the phone, stalking, letter writing etc when she was supposed to be working. That worked, stopped it dead.
Good luck!
[Edited by Dr Lurve - 4/19/2002 3:02:52 PM]
19 April 2002, 03:26 PM
#14
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Got email off her pc, got my number from phone bill and then looked up my name and town on 192.com. 192.com lets u find anyone as long as u have a name and town [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
Jen, she has told him as clearly as u can get she wants a divorce and for him to leave but he wont go away.
All hassle I don't need or want [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
Jen, she has told him as clearly as u can get she wants a divorce and for him to leave but he wont go away.
All hassle I don't need or want [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
19 April 2002, 03:39 PM
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I know its too late for you but my advice to anyone is to tell 192 to remove you from their database - there is a link on their site for that. I am going to also get removed fromn the electoral roll (while remaining able to vote of course) because of my job. It is well worth it. Being ex-directory just doesn't work these days.
DON'T contact the guy: ignore him completely unless he contacts you, then keep all and any evidence and go to police or solicitor. If you contact him you've not got a leg to stand on really.
[Edited by zoog - 4/19/2002 3:41:00 PM]
DON'T contact the guy: ignore him completely unless he contacts you, then keep all and any evidence and go to police or solicitor. If you contact him you've not got a leg to stand on really.
[Edited by zoog - 4/19/2002 3:41:00 PM]
19 April 2002, 03:42 PM
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If you don't want the hassle don't fool around with Married people comes to mind
I bet you would not be laughing and joking if it was being done to you!
No wonder Society is in such a mess when people can't keep there hands off others spouses.
19 April 2002, 03:45 PM
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Lime **** OFF YOU **** [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
She is seperated - not in a physical relationship with the bloke, does not want anything to do with him, it is a piece of paper only that says they are married. YOU REALLY ARE A ****, OR CAN U NOT READ???
And for your information I have had it done to me but while I was married and not seperated so I know the ******* difference and how it feels to have it done, so once again **** OFF!!! **** [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
She is seperated - not in a physical relationship with the bloke, does not want anything to do with him, it is a piece of paper only that says they are married. YOU REALLY ARE A ****, OR CAN U NOT READ???
And for your information I have had it done to me but while I was married and not seperated so I know the ******* difference and how it feels to have it done, so once again **** OFF!!! **** [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
19 April 2002, 03:53 PM
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You get involved with someone still married and when it blows up in your face you start moaning about the situation. I am sorry but you made your bed and now YOU must lay in it!
People cant go on in there life thinking that there is no consequence to there actions good or bad! Usually I find what goes around comes around!
Oh and thanks for the lovely words
which I have copy and pasted below, incase you go back and edit them out."Lime **** OFF YOU ****
She is seperated - not in a physical relationship with the bloke, does not want anything to do with him, it is a piece of paper only that says they are married. YOU REALLY ARE A ****, OR CAN U NOT READ???
And for your information I have had it done to me but while I was married and not seperated so I know the ******* difference and how it feels to have it done, so once again **** OFF!!! **** "
19 April 2002, 04:02 PM
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I have no idea of editing them cos u just dont get it do you, because she has a piece of paper saying she is married doesnt mean that she has to sleep with her husband and live with him and be in a relationship with him, how do I have to spell it out to you, it was over long before I met her! U wonder why I am saying such abbusive words at you, wells its because you are accusing me of doing something which I haven't!!! So go and bother someone else you moron [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] You are the first person on Scoobynet who has really p!ssed me off and I hope u r the last, cos the majority of people on here are sensible enough to understand what Ihave been saying
19 April 2002, 04:17 PM
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Lime
You sound a bitter, angry man; what with axes to grind about being cuckolded and your claims of medical negligence,(other thread) it seems as if you should perhaps look to yourself for the reasons why you have such experiences. Instead of blaming others all the time have you considered you own role and expectations of others?
You sound a bitter, angry man; what with axes to grind about being cuckolded and your claims of medical negligence,(other thread) it seems as if you should perhaps look to yourself for the reasons why you have such experiences. Instead of blaming others all the time have you considered you own role and expectations of others?
19 April 2002, 04:40 PM
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Ask him if he wants to compare notes, Start of talking about the little common ground that you have and youll be best mates!!!!
Seriously though, have a word with plod, just drop into the pad desk(public access desk) and speak to an officer (rather than phoning), He will tell you that he cant do anything cos no crime has been committed, depending on how busy they are they may ask the area car to cruise past a couple of times if they are doing nowt.
Get his name and collar number and ask him to make a note in his pocket book as these are admissable in court, so if anything goes down you have a record of your concerns.
Keep a record of any emails you have with the thinly veiled threats in.
Seriously though, have a word with plod, just drop into the pad desk(public access desk) and speak to an officer (rather than phoning), He will tell you that he cant do anything cos no crime has been committed, depending on how busy they are they may ask the area car to cruise past a couple of times if they are doing nowt.
Get his name and collar number and ask him to make a note in his pocket book as these are admissable in court, so if anything goes down you have a record of your concerns.
Keep a record of any emails you have with the thinly veiled threats in.
19 April 2002, 04:45 PM
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Thanks Mark.
A twist has developed tho, it looks as though he has the wrong address as I cant find myself on 192.com, only someone with the same name at a different address in the same town. Am I not listed because I chose to be ex-directory (have only just remembered this!)He will work out its the wrong address as the phone numbers wont match up, at least I hope he has that much intelligence! Luckily 192.com don't alow searching by numbers anymore so does that mean he cant find me??? LMAO if that is the case cos he will get even more annoyed by that!
A twist has developed tho, it looks as though he has the wrong address as I cant find myself on 192.com, only someone with the same name at a different address in the same town. Am I not listed because I chose to be ex-directory (have only just remembered this!)He will work out its the wrong address as the phone numbers wont match up, at least I hope he has that much intelligence! Luckily 192.com don't alow searching by numbers anymore so does that mean he cant find me??? LMAO if that is the case cos he will get even more annoyed by that!
19 April 2002, 05:27 PM
#25
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Lime,
It doesn't sound like you know the full situation here. BTZ has asked for advice and you're not really helping here, are you?
No need for another thread to turn into a personal slagging match is there?
Chris.
It doesn't sound like you know the full situation here. BTZ has asked for advice and you're not really helping here, are you?
No need for another thread to turn into a personal slagging match is there?
Chris.
19 April 2002, 06:54 PM
#26
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Bravo, Ah, I thought I p1ssed you off too???
He may not think the marraige is over and you are messing with his 'property' - I am NOT going to judge anyone, just saying it as an outsider, ok?
If I was you I would let old bill know of the e-mails and threats - 99% of the time its all huff and bluff. BUT, if he DOES visit and you hurt him it will be easier to say that it was self-defence, if plod already know he has threatened you.
If he IS a big bugger with attitude, then it may be time to consider very carefully your actions - whatever YOU may think HE sees that YOU are ******** HIS wife ........... and thats ALL that matters to him!!
Good luck, as I say - I am NOT judging anyone, go easy
Pete
He may not think the marraige is over and you are messing with his 'property' - I am NOT going to judge anyone, just saying it as an outsider, ok?
If I was you I would let old bill know of the e-mails and threats - 99% of the time its all huff and bluff. BUT, if he DOES visit and you hurt him it will be easier to say that it was self-defence, if plod already know he has threatened you.
If he IS a big bugger with attitude, then it may be time to consider very carefully your actions - whatever YOU may think HE sees that YOU are ******** HIS wife ........... and thats ALL that matters to him!!
Good luck, as I say - I am NOT judging anyone, go easy
Pete
19 April 2002, 06:59 PM
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19 April 2002, 07:06 PM
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Kill her then kill yourself. If the two of you are gone he can't bother you anymore.
On a serious note, all you have to do is rough him up a bit and mess with his head. Don't be intimidated by him, confront him and make him feel that provoking you is not worth the hassle at all. Show that you are not willing to back down and that for every bad thing that he does to you, you will give him 6 times more (like Ariel Sharon). He'll soon leave you alone.
Good luck..
On a serious note, all you have to do is rough him up a bit and mess with his head. Don't be intimidated by him, confront him and make him feel that provoking you is not worth the hassle at all. Show that you are not willing to back down and that for every bad thing that he does to you, you will give him 6 times more (like Ariel Sharon). He'll soon leave you alone.
Good luck..
19 April 2002, 07:43 PM
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Thanks people for the advice.
Pete how could you ever wind anyone up m8??? Never understood those people who reacted to your posts!
As for worrying whether the bloke is a big nasty fella, I have been told he doesnt measure upto me so I have no problems on that front, more worried about my beloved scoob getting hit upon!
Carl that joke is a treat m8, will forward that one on me thinks
Luke, astraboy's book of DIY nasties is already noted as there are some superb ones in there Astraboy, if that was only a smidgen of what u have, then please could I have the full volume as some of those could come in very handy 
Katana, I have every intention of defending myself if he does try anything, however I am not going to be trapped into his way of thinking, I do not want to be the one who ends up in trouble so I have not replied to any of his emails, am not threatening him back, if I speak to him on the phone if he calls the same will apply. Simply if he turns up and takes a swing he will then know he made a wrong choice
Oh and apparently he is away this weekend so for causing so much grief the last few days she is taking all his things she can get her hands on to a car boot fair!!!
LMAO
And again, thanks folks, its the weekend!! ENJOY.... now where has all that beer gone........
Pete how could you ever wind anyone up m8??? Never understood those people who reacted to your posts!
As for worrying whether the bloke is a big nasty fella, I have been told he doesnt measure upto me so I have no problems on that front, more worried about my beloved scoob getting hit upon!
Carl that joke is a treat m8, will forward that one on me thinks
Luke, astraboy's book of DIY nasties is already noted as there are some superb ones in there
Astraboy, if that was only a smidgen of what u have, then please could I have the full volume as some of those could come in very handy Katana, I have every intention of defending myself if he does try anything, however I am not going to be trapped into his way of thinking, I do not want to be the one who ends up in trouble so I have not replied to any of his emails, am not threatening him back, if I speak to him on the phone if he calls the same will apply. Simply if he turns up and takes a swing he will then know he made a wrong choice
Oh and apparently he is away this weekend so for causing so much grief the last few days she is taking all his things she can get her hands on to a car boot fair!!!
LMAOAnd again, thanks folks, its the weekend!! ENJOY.... now where has all that beer gone........