Snazy

Right, so mum has a carer, we arranged 2 visits a day, 8 til 9am, then 12 til 12.30.
Mum has taken a long time to bond with a carer, and is slowly getting the idea, but the carer is becoming unreliable with timing.

She was an hour and a half late arriving this afternoon, the latest she has been but not the first time she has been over 30 mins late. Then as she left, she said she would be coming at 7am tomorrow, rather than 8. Again this is about the 4th time in 2 weeks she has said she needs to arrive early.

Mum is usually up early, but it means the bathroom is unavailable while mum washes, and I have to get up an hour earlier.

I don't mind being flexible for mum, but am getting slightly pissed off doing it for the carer. She is always apologetic.

Downside to complaining is them sending a new carer, and us starting the whole bonding and trust thing with mum again.

David Lock

Why is she late? dl

john banks

I don't know how carers stick with the job. They are always flying around from one to the next and on low pay. They can't always complete one client's needs in the time allocated, hence being late.

Snazy

Sometimes we get a reason, other times not. I fully understand that sometimes she has to wait with a patient for unforeseen reasons.


I am inclined to agree to a degree, but when they turn up 45 mins late with 2 bags of shopping, it's bit irritating.
I have explained to mum that bed bound clients will always get priority, and like me she accepts this. However a simple phone call or text would suffice. I have waited in until 2pm today for her to come and go. Needed to get to the GP to pick something up for mum.

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Where did you get the carer? You need to be asking her WHY she's late as it upsets your mum and her schedule, and that isn't what caring is about.

If she's blowing you off, get another.

Snazy

The agency was appointed by social services, the carer was chosen by the agency.
Sometimes she has had to take a client to hospital, or escort them in a ambulance etc, which is understandable, other times there is no reason other than buses were bad, again understandable even though we have a pretty good bus service here.
But days like today where she was already an hour late before phoning, get on my **** lol .

As for getting another one, as I have said the problem with that is, starting over with mum.
Not sure what's worse waiting in for someone and not knowing what time they will show, or starting another 6-8 weeks of "getting to know you" in order to reach the stage we are at now.

Chris 9-5

iTrader: (3)

What cant you sit and chat with the carer, build a relationship there and hopefully make her aware of how even small changes disrupt things for the family.

EddScott

If your going to make waves, you first need to work out who (if any) is at fault. My wife used to be a carer and she would have no or very little input in her rota - if you were in the area managers bad books - or a lazy one who passed all the hard jobs onto the younger girls it may not be girls fault she is late. You could do with speaking to someone in charge - not the carer and if possible not the area manager.

You have to remember the type of people you get to be carers - ones that actually give a monkeys and ones that are complete ***** and borderline sadists and these are usually the ones in charge.

The girls on the rounds have such a tough job - theres not a thing in the world that would have me doing that job. Wife found a couple of dead'uns which affected her quite a bit (rigger and all that isn't pretty) but expected to just carry on with the rest of her duties regardless. Any problems with the rota and theres usually f*ck all help from those above. Problem carers tend to be ignored. Sadly, from experience, the more they seem to care about the quality and level of care given to clients, the shortest time they are likely to spend in the job.

I would get to know the carer a bit more and see if you can make a judgement - a sensible judgement - of what the problem is and go from there.

We had bad snow one year and the wife didn't to go on her own and in her car - we went the scoob as it was 4WD (18s and toyos were useless though) a 2 hour round took 6 but it was the only visits most of them were going to get that day.

Hysteria1983

I suggest you call the agency and tell them about het VERY poor timing.

You have a right to know about her training and what hours she works. She cannot be late from night shifts or something else as she cannot work more than so many hours a shift, it's illegal.

At the end of the day if she is contracted to be with your mum at 8.00 then 5-10 minutes late is understandable, over 20 mins with bad traffic... ok, but an hour and a half is taking the ****.

The problem with agency workers is that its usually a stop gap between other nursing jobs which leaves them with a temporary attitude to go with their temporary job.
Sometimes you get someone who actually cares about their job, but from my experience you need to give some people a kick up the backside.

Chris 9-5

iTrader: (3)

I really do think you should talk, or try to talk with her first Snazy

Gear Head

iTrader: (2)

Agreed. I am afraid caring is not an exact science.

BLU

iTrader: (27)

Speak, on a friendly level, with the carer. Explain how its affecting you, if shes a decent one she be bothered by it. I'll bet my left bo1lock that its all down to the tw@ts in the office with bad organising. If thats the case, let her know you'll be getting on to the office and that you know its not her fault!

My missus did this temporarily when we first moved up here. She was given jobs that were nigh on 30 mins apart but no travelling time in which to get from one appt to the next.

EddScott

This. You wade in with both feet and your likely to make the situation worse.

Have you spent any time with the carer? How does she appear around your mum? Can you get a decent idea of the type of person she is? You can usually tell if someone is make the effort or just making the right noises - if you get me.

This is f*cking rife mate. My mrs had exactly the same. The rota is given out and the managers know for a fact that it takes minutes to get from one location to another (its tough here as its so rural) yet they allow no travel time.

my wife just had to leave in the end. She was getting upset by how she was treated, how the managers didn't give a rats *** and the general level of bullying was too much.

Spoon

Simple solution. Ask Social Services for direct payments for your Mother. She can then use that money to employ her own carer/s. You do the interviewing after advertising and you get to choose who you want. You agree pay and conditions.

Direct payments money goes further than paying an agencies inflated prices too so Social Services should be receptive. The care package cost awarded to your Mother can be spent far more wisely and with greater flexibility.

Hysteria1983

Yes definately, but the agency should also be informed. She gets paid a good rate through an agency rather than being a private carer. So she should be on time and do her job, as anyone should be expected.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she has 'personal problems'. But those problems are not going to vanish just because of a chat.

Your mother needs someone there who she can depend on, but I can understand it's difficult when you get to know someone.

oobyJu

iTrader: (2)

agree with spoon, agencies are usually run by people with business degrees and anyone (honest) with one will tell you all they really learned was how much can you charge/little you can pay people before they realise they are being ripped off. Apply that to the whole western world and it all starts to make sense....kind of

The Rig

iTrader: (13)

Complaining about the carer wont adhere to much,its all part of being a carer,but what they will do,as you know,is appoint a new carer.

Dont be afriad to do this,yes its a pain each time,but,its like dating,the right one is out there.

Been through all this with my nan,wont go into details but she needed a different approach from the carer,my mum went thru about 10,from the same agency LOL until the right 2 polish lasses were found and remained until her death,RIP nan.

oldsplice

+1


First port of call. No point in alienating her if you've started to build a relationship with her. These girls are sometimes allocated only 10 minutes per patient. It's a job I wouldn't want to do.

Spoon

The carer is employed via an agency, no amount of talking to her will change her instructions to be somewhere every 30 minutes. Get some independence and take control of your own care arrangements.

dpb

Sounds okay but a qualified carer cant/wont survive on a few hrs work a day

If it were possible my gfriend would be doing exactly this

ScoobyWon't

I'd be willing to wager £5 that the two bags of shopping are for another client who is unable to go out to the shops them self

Frosticles

iTrader: (1)

My father has dementia and has care 4 times a day. Sometimes they are late. Depends on what they have had to do previously in the day. There is a lady who sometimes has problems resulting in the carer being late. It can be quite regular. As long as the carer is not over an hour late then I think youjust need to be understanding. It is not a pleasant job at the end of the day and the elderly can require regular extras.

Spoon

If this is in reply to me then carers organise themselves as anybody else would do and work the hours they choose. 1 1/2 hours a day isn't enough for a wage of course but A) Carers can have a number of clients. B) There are carers out there that will do a small amount of time.

Using your example a private cleaner couldn't survive on cleaning one house. There is nothing stopping them from looking for more work.

dpb

Does a private cleaner need a crb check and almost fortnightly ( it seems ) updates/retraining to stay employable within the guidelines .

I guess if youve friends of friends then this may be possible to make a living , but in reality when you work it out its only a couple quid above miniumum wage

Spoon

No, cleaners I think need a government agent with themselves at all times, doing away with the need for CRB checks. Their mops also need recalibrating every 3 days to ensure a smooth sweep action and operators need to attend refresher courses every Monday to maintain their cleaner status.

dpb

Glad we cleaned that one up then Spoon

Snazy

Blimey so much feed back, so for the record.
I speak to and interact with the carer twice a day, my concerns have been discussed a number of times with her, but sadly it's usually met with an apology (which is nice) and little more.

Yes, I am aware she and all caters have very busy schedules, and am more than willing to accept that she will be late on occasion. I don't expect the bell to ring on the hour every time, let's be realistic now eh.

My point is, if she knows she is running late, communicate it, the same way I communicate with her if we are running late on the way back from a hospital appointment. Even a text saying "2pm" would do me, just so the day can be planned out a little better.

Personally, I would hate to be a carer, they do a tough job, and this one is good at what she does, and has as I say bonded well with mum, hence the reluctance to start over.

But what we have agreed to do now, or at least I think we have (time will tell) is if she is going to be over an hour late call or text, and we will have to manage without her for the day somehow. Not ideal, but as good as it gets in the circumstances.

This is not me moaning for the sake of moaning by the way. This is me trying to find a way to get mum to keep the carer, and not just get sick of waiting and cancel the carer for good, which would make life for all miserable to say the least.

BLU

iTrader: (27)

Hmm, I know a few who do this as a job and believe me its NOT a good rate of pay The agencys tell the carers where they're going, at what time and for how long. As I mentioned before they don't seem to account for travelling time.
eg; for six, separate, half hour calls the carer will be given 3 hours to do them. Now you tell me how they're supposed to be on time AND work the full half hour? And thats not taking into account any problems/delays with a call........

Its a thankless job and no wonder it has a high turnaround of staff.

What you've just said is why you need to have the friendly chat with the carer. Put you point accross and explain what you've just posted. She can also let you know the reasons why she is late etc....... As said, do it in a friendly way and I'm sure all will be fine

Go with your instincts as only you can judge the situation and whats best for your mum.
Good luck

Hysteria1983

I didn't say it was good in general sense, but good through an agency rather than private.

Leslie

As mentioned above, I think you should remain on friendly terms with the carer-its a hell of a job of course and requires a lot of dedication, as I well know from seeing Mrs Leslie care for her demented mother for some years.

Maybe you can get it across to her that you have to get your own timing right in the morinng and if she is late it throws out your day. Maybe you can persuade her to make more of an effort to keep to time.

Les