MattW

How do you broach money issues with kids. my eldest has had a bit of stick at school because my wife doesn't work. on the assumption that two parents working are considerably richer than yoooooow!

I don't want this to get into a my dad earn's more than your dad situation, as I'd prefer to keep these things private.

The wife is thinking of mentioning it to other kid's mother to put a stop to it, but how do i explain to my eldest who now thinks we should be saving every penny.

Andy Tang

iTrader: (3)

How old is your eldest child?

TBH, I think people think we are richer than we actually are, because only I work!!

Like you I keep these things private, but on the flip side I don't care what people think, and hope my children should understand that.

MattW

Nine years Andy. She understands the value of money but probably doesn't grasp what things cost, if you get my drift.

pslewis

Create a list of items and ask her to guess how many weeks it would take her to buy them with her pocket money (I assume she gets some pocket money?).

This puts the economics into her world and she can then evaluate what things cost in terms of multiples of her own income.

They then grasp it almost immediately.

Coffin Dodger

"My Dad will batter your Dad"
"Well my Dad's gay, he'll **** your Dad, and your Dad will like it."

Frankie Boyle - Legend

MattW

Pete, am looking for ways of tactfully showing that we are not on the bread line without using figures. I'm assuming this is a jealousy thing but money is a sensitiv subject for all.

Leslie

Surely your children should appreciate their luck that their mother does not work and can give them more of her time.

Les

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Ok someone has to say it: Buy a Porsche and give her a lift to/from school?

hodgy0_2

wierd the opposite for me -- my children assume we are richer because my wife does not need to work

Lydia72

I can remember, probably about that age, asking my mum how much she and my dad earned and she refused to tell me. She said it was bad mannered to discuss salaries with other people and it was a private thing. Looking back I'm glad she said that because as an adult it's stuck with me (I never get drawn into such conversations with people and it makes me laugh to listen to *****-waving), I also realise she was probably hiding me from the fact we were always skint!
I would tell your daughter that there will always be people with less money than you and always people that will have more than you. You could explain how a monthly budget works (without going into detail) and that it's not a good thing to get into debt to try and keep up with others.

Miniman

iTrader: (2)

My lad is 9 and we sort of have the same thing. We're certainly not on the bread line, but we do have to watch our incomings/outgoings every month and while I used to buy gadgets and upgrade things regularly I've not done that for years (ie since we've had kids and a bloody great mortgage).

We do, however, live in an affluent area. So my lad comes home with stories of playing at a mates house with a TV in each bedroom, and his own PS3/Xbox in the bedroom and untold garden toys, new bikes and scooters, football goals and the latest FIFA international ball, even a swimming pool (that's as big as our garden!). International holidays each year to Disneyland. Etc, etc. This is from several different mates, so spread across a spectrum of families.

I don't think little boys rub it in each others faces like the OP, but there is the obvious questions around "can I have this or that, because little Johnny has one". The kids even tried digging my vegetable patch the other year to create a swimming pool!

We can't stretch to the material effects that some give to their kids, so instead I get involved in their interests, take them to their clubs, play with them in the garden and on the family Wii, dig sandcastles on a beach in Devon on our enforced "Staycation". As well as the less interesting things, reading, doing homework etc.

Kids that young have a weak grasp on the real world cost of things, and I doubt they realise my time with them is golden. But it certainly makes for a distraction - they love playing/doing anything with Dad or Mum - so I think they forget the specifics of material wealth they are missing out on.

Miniman

iTrader: (2)

dp

Hysteria1983

My children are too young to think this sort of thing, but the mums/dad at the school think the same.

I would just let your daughter know how much nicer it is to have mum at home. Explain that some mums have to work, some mums want to work.

Ask her if she would rather be going home with a childminder, or only see her mum on the weekend?

I think the problem is at nine years of age money and matelialism is a big thing, especially for girls who are practically a walking fashion show. Its hard, but I am sure she could understand with a little help.

David Lock

The ONLY message your kids have to appreciate is that love counts, money doesn't. End of.

dl

tony de wonderful

Yeah just ignore it.

The 'rich' kid in question sounds like a ******** w/ issues. **** him.

EddScott

Come to our nippers school then. Having two parents working is the exception rather than the rule! Having two parents at all is a novelty.


Its only saving grace is that I think the school board is well aware of its catchment area and makes more of an effort (Its all grade 1s and some 2s)

ScoobyDriverWannabe

Get her a pony and lets all the kids have a ride excluding the one giving her stick.

Lee247

You are always going to get the "school snob". There are a few on this board
I would just reassure your daughter, that the other one is nothing more than a young bully in the making and someone not worthy of her friendship.
As long as she is happy, at 9 years old, I doubt she will take too much of it to heart.
If you think she is getting more than a little upset, speak to the Head.
I wouldn't bother with the bragging childs mother, she might be worse than her offspring.
Good luck

Leslie

Good post and absolutely right too.

Les

Dunk

iTrader: (1)

Explain that the harder you work at the school the more money you earn, having worked hard at school you get more than most, and that allows her mum to be there for her and not to be at work. (The lazy exam dodging, thickie parasite )
We've all been there, there's always someone who has bigger annd better, it was a mate with an Atari with 150 versions of space invaders when I was 8 when I only had a TV game that did tennis and football.
A year or two ago, I was in St Tropez drooling over the biggest, shiniest yacht in the harbour, when it was plunged into the shadow of a bigger one mooring next to it....there always someone bigger and better, enjoy what you've got and don't become the green eyed monster.
(It still won't help a 9 year old understand though, but I feel better!)

D

Mooburu

I burst out laughing when he said that!, along with 'there is a vegetarian option.....you can **** off!!'

Around here it’s more 'my single parent scavenges more money of the government than your parents'

r32

Tell your daughter that there is nothing that you want that you dont have. That you have plenty of money in the bank, and there's no need for her mum to work.
Tell her that the other kids family are so short of money, and that their dad earns so little their parents both have to go to work to make ends meet.

MattW

Ah the truth

MattW

I think you just may be right!