stilover

Just found out this morning that my girlfriends 2 kids (8 & 10) had told their dad over the weekend that I'd been shouting at them and hitting them

This is absolutely not true. I don't really like kids, as some of you will have seen me mention before, but as they are not my kids I have no right to raise my voice to them, and I'd certainly not hit kids.

It's turned out that last week after being naughty (which they are a lot) their mother shouted at them, they swore at her, so she slapped them. One of the kids had her mobile phone with her, and for some reason started recording, just as I spoke to keep the pease. It was recorded as me saying "If you weren't naughty, you wouldn't get hit". This was only part of the conversation, but this was shown to their dad, with them saying I'd been hitting them.

He came round this morning to have a fight with me , but as I have no interest in arguing over what I did or did not do, I walked away.

My dilemer now is, do I give these little brats the Christmas presents I bought them, or should I do what I want to do, and take them back to the shop and get my money back? They'll never learn otherwaise and a lie shouldn't be rewarded.

The thing that hurts though is, the eldest one went with the lie instead of saying what actually happened.

******* kids, hate them.

Lee247

Little horrors

You should get them both in front of you and tell them just how much trouble they have caused with their tale telling and lies. They are old enough to know better. If they still believe in Santa, I would be inclined to tell them he does not visit naughty kids.

Good luck.

belliott69

iTrader: (3)

don't give them the presents otherwise they'll think that every time there naughty they'll tell there dad and then still get everything.

greenonedave

Sorry to hear that they stitched you up, some kids are very capable of exploting a situation to there own advantage, I have seen and heard of it before, breath in count to 10, ( then kick the sh*ts)

Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

Swearing & slapping! Not something seen from my 8yr old & I can't condone slapping children at all

IMHO kids must understand that an action = a reaction. If they do something wrong then something must happen to reinforce that it's wrong rather than nowt happening which creates a vicious circle of wrongdoing ... may be an idea to not give them an Xmas present but you must explain why. The opposite applies to so you need to re-enforce good behaviour as well.

Doesn't the 8yr old still believe in Father Xmas? Will be bl**dy confusing for him/her if no present arrives ...

TX.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

I wouldn't give them the presents. In fact I think legally you're now allowed to give them a kicking

Might as well, you're being blamed for it.

Coffin Dodger

Little *******, I'd give them both a slap and no Christmas presents if I were you

Kids these days need to learn a little respect, that way they won't turn into nasty chav teenagers.

Darren.1987

iTrader: (1)

take the presents back, don't give them anything. They are clearly trying to cause problems so that doesn't deserve any reward.

gallois

they lie in this way because they want you out, they want mum and real dad to be together, kid logic.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

stilover

Neither of them believe in Santa now.

The problem with them, is they get everything they want. get presents all year round. I've told my GF that this is making them ungratefull, and will expect everything handed to them on a plate when they get older. She will not listen though.

I only got presents on either my Birthday or at Christmas, and I was grateful for everything i got.

Sad to think but if I hadn't walked away this morning, I'd have ended up in a fist fight over some little **** telling lies.

Days like this, I remember why I swore never to have any kids of my own.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Why the **** are you hanging around ?

gallois

LG John

Fail IMHO. Been there, done that and, notwithstanding the fact I'm married now, never again. In your case it's even worse! You don't even like kids and you have to deal with someone elses brats!

gallois

heres one for you pimmo

stilover

I'm asking myself that right now.

mr_D

iTrader: (12)

what you should do is not give them any presents until the late evening if you get an opology. but not only you. your partner should do it as well. and teach the little ****s a lesson. a majority of kids are like this these days. obviously some are not. but lessons need to be learnt

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

I'd say that level of porky pies would call for the plug on the PS3/Wii/Xbox to be chopped off.

If you pay the bills: No Mobile phone credit . Cancel Sky/Virgin TV over christmas or block whatever channels they like watching, and block their internet whilst your at it.

However, if you have no financial input into the household, your kind of stuffed as you can't say "my house my rules" etc..

stilover

It's not my house, and I pay nothing towards it other than maybe the odd £20 to pay for the gas/electric I use.

Turbohot

Stilover, you say that you generally don't like kids. It is possible that your GF's kids can sense your general dislike towards them, even when its nothing personal (e.g. you dislike them because your GF's attention is diverted due to their existence, but that is not the case). They may be develping your monster image in their heads, and therefore, they are telling lies about you to their dad. Its not the presents that win the kids over, its the quality time and genuine connection you develop with your step-children. I think you should give them their gifts, and try to build realistic bridges with them. Play board games with them around this festive season, make them feel heard etc. etc. They are children, but remember you are an adult, so behave like one.

So far kids' fantasy world is concerned, it is institutionalised. Take imaginary Santa for an example. what a play with kids' emotions LOL Children's minds are very creative. The point is that this creativity is better being positive, not negative. Adults can help develop it.

jonc

I think the kid's dad was looking for any excuse to come round for a fisticuff since you're *******' his ex.

Lee247

The big problem you have is, no parent is going to believe their off spring are manipulative little toerags.
These two are playing the game very well, even at their age. Kids are very quick to pick up on the play one off against the other theory.
I would be insisting they tell the truth to their Father. If they don't, and you don't get back up on this from your girlfriend, I am sorry to say, it is time for you to have a rethink.

Again, Good Luck. Hope it works out for you.

Oh and if the presents are from you, personally. I would not hand them over

Geezer

I would echo Turbohot's comments. You can't expect kids to have respect for you or like you if you are not prepared to put in the effort. They are kids, they don't know how to behave. As Desmond Morris once demonstrated, lying is a natural part of growing up unfortunately.

I think your natural dislike of children will show through a lot more then you realise, especially as their actions rub you up the wrong way as well!

I have kids of my own and adore them, but I have little time for other kids, and you can tell they are wary of me.

If you hate kids that much, probably better to move on to another relationship because by the sounds of it, your relationship with them is not going to improve any time soon.

Or, have some kids of your own

Geezer

FlightMan

You want these kids to learn some respect, yet you're living rent free in your G/F house, and are bunging her the odd £20 for gas and electric.

ROFLMAO.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

No thanks mate, you keep it .. give it to your ma

stilover

No. I don't live there. I only go round on a night after work. Prefereably once the kids have gone to bed. And I don't go round every night either.

I do get on with them. I don't really like kids, but did make an effort with them, as they come as part of the package i suppose.

I've taken them on day trips (lakes, lightwater valley etc) take them out for there eat every now and then. Have taken them ten pin bowling and to the cinema. I actually do more for them than their own dad does. Considering he pays nothing towards them. And I mean nothing.

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

This is awful, doubly so to have happened at Christmas. There's no wonder this is the highest rated time of year for suicides

Stilover, what did your g/f say when first they lied, and secondly, he came round? I ASSUME she knows? If she doesn't, why not?

Have you and the g/f sat down and talked this through, first without and then, with the kids?

Do your g/f and the kids KNOW how hurt YOU are by their lies and remaining silent?

As regards punishment, I'd say definitely let them know their presents are withheld until you and your g/f get a proper apology, and they contact their dad to tell him what they did too, and apologise to him for causing HIM aggro.

Don't go over the top with loads of other stuff though. These are kids, in a difficult situation. There will be a reason WHY they did what they did. You and g/f need to find it and work it through with them. 99.999% of kids are NOT evil, they do things for a reason. We, as adults, deal with it.

Hope your Christmas goes OK mate.
Jeff

StickyMicky

This is the main question from me, i would assume your missus would have sorted this out to be honest.

stilover

This morning was the first she heard of it too. She knew their dad was coming round to see the kids, but as soon as he walked in he was asking for me, as he wanted a fight .

She knows it's bollox, as she was there. She was the one shouting at them, and slapped the youngest one for swearing at her. She doesn't understand why they lied. She's always said the girls like me. She's having a talk with them today. I'll go round tonight and see if an appology is waiting. If not, no presents.

tkws5606

Don't think for one minute that been a lying tw#t is restricted children