Are you Gay ???
08 September 2009, 12:22 PM
#1
Are you Gay ???
Am I Gay?' Self Examination For Men
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Lighter Life diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Fla-a-a-a-ming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat... 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
( I make an exception to this rule as I have a cat but it is owned by the good lady of the house
)
3. If you suck on lollipops, big phalic shaped ice-lollies, baby teething rings, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a *******. A straight man only sucks on barbeque ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or ****. Any thing else and your in training and undeniably a ***.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public toilet or **** in a car park you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you own designer kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a ***.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow driver or to cut off the **** . The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the cd, eat a mcdonalds, or stroke the leg of his female passenger.
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Lighter Life diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Fla-a-a-a-ming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat... 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
( I make an exception to this rule as I have a cat but it is owned by the good lady of the house
)3. If you suck on lollipops, big phalic shaped ice-lollies, baby teething rings, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a *******. A straight man only sucks on barbeque ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or ****. Any thing else and your in training and undeniably a ***.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public toilet or **** in a car park you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you own designer kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a ***.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow driver or to cut off the **** . The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the cd, eat a mcdonalds, or stroke the leg of his female passenger.
08 September 2009, 12:37 PM
#3
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1. Yup, due to f*cking hard work...
2. Big fat hard ******* dog ( scaredy puff really ! )
3. Suck nowt, chew yer food....
4. Real men sh*t in the woods.
5. Agree.
6. "Fressier", you *** !
7. Changing gear or heaving on the handbrake for corners....
LOL
dunx
2. Big fat hard ******* dog ( scaredy puff really ! )
3. Suck nowt, chew yer food....
4. Real men sh*t in the woods.
5. Agree.
6. "Fressier", you *** !
7. Changing gear or heaving on the handbrake for corners....
LOL
dunx
08 September 2009, 01:09 PM
#4
LOL at the phrase "dying to tune a meat whistle" - never heard that before! 
I must send this to my Midlander mate who always acts the tough guy, but has a very caring relationship with his cat!
I must send this to my Midlander mate who always acts the tough guy, but has a very caring relationship with his cat!
08 September 2009, 02:14 PM
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08 September 2009, 03:54 PM
#8
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It started so well, Being that I am under 40. Everything after that points towards me being gay.
The Mrs is not going to take to well to this news.
The Mrs is not going to take to well to this news.
08 September 2009, 04:11 PM
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09 September 2009, 08:37 AM
#13
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On a similar note, anyone notice how society seems to have many more gay individuals nowadays ?? Take Big Brother for example, 90% of the house were either gay, or bi.
Has society become more free with its love, or are people now in a position to be more honest ??
Im not saying its right or wrong, as each to their own but being hetro seems to be in a decline.
SBK
Has society become more free with its love, or are people now in a position to be more honest ??
Im not saying its right or wrong, as each to their own but being hetro seems to be in a decline.
SBK
09 September 2009, 09:38 AM
#14
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You cant judge the UK population based on what you have seen in big brother. Dont forget they look under every bridge for the kind of trolls and freaks they put in that house.
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