tanyatriangles

iTrader: (2)

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules of dealing with women. At last this points guide will help you to understand just how it works.

AIM:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's just the way the game's played.

Here's a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ...............................+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up....................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty... 0
When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex...-1
You go out to buy her extra-light pantie liners with wings...+5
in the snow.....................................+8
but return with beer............................-5
and no liners..................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.........0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...+5
You smash it with a cricket bat...................+10
It's her cat...................................-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire evening........... 0
You stay by her side for a bit, then go and chat with a mate from the pub...-2
Called Tiffany......................-4
Who is a lap dancer................-10
With breast implants...............-18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday............................... 0
You buy a card and flowers.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Ok, it is a sports bar................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.........................-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colours of your favourite team...-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a mate....................................... 0
The mate is happily married..........................+1
The mate is single...................................-7
He drives a Ferrari.................................-10
With a personalised license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a see a film..........................+2
You take her to a see a film she likes................+4
You take her to a see a film you hate.................+6
You take her to a see a film you like.................-2
It's called Death Cop III.............................-3
Featuring Cyborgs that eat humans.....................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly...................-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy shirts...-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding......................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your bottom".........-100
Any other response..............................-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.............0
You listen, for over 30 minutes..........................+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.... +50
You're mind wanders to football and you suddenly hear her saying
"well, what do you think I should do?".........-100
You have fallen asleep.............................-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.........................................-100
You don't talk...................................-150
You spend time with her..........................-200
You don't spend time with her....................-500
You are seen to be enjoying yourself.....GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

corradoboy

Near the mark Why do we bother ?

gpssti4

iTrader: (6)

Sad but true

Neoscooby

I wonder how many points I'd score as the only thing I took from it was 'Hmmm....Where can I get a number plate like that?'

the subaru kid

one set of rules for them and one set for us

Hysteria1983

You people are just odd.

I am not sure what sort of women you all know but I am more than happy to pick up a Chinese a 4 pack of beer (maybe an 8 pack on a sat) and watch something like Crank. Then maybe a blast on pure on the 360.... what more could I want?

StickyMicky

I was recently at my brothers wedding party and got told off for spending 30 mins talking to some of my old mates i had seen for years

FFS i had been with the bint all facken day

Hysteria1983

Just give her a pint and tell her to shut up and smile. That what I do with the other half.

BOB.T

Women are crap.

Hysteria1983

So you don't have a regular **** piece then?

stilover

I gave up counting once I'd passed -100.

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

I have been guilty of pretty much all of the above. After a while you just smile and nod

Hysteria1983

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p...tupidCrazy.gif

BOB.T

Nope

Leslie

Life is so much easier if you make it look as though you are doing what was suggested-meaningfully as ever!

Les

Hysteria1983

Just about explains it then.

Jamz3k

Just on the subject of "playing the game" with women, why are you instantly more attractive to women if you are in a relationship?

fastmike

iTrader: (4)

WOMEN......... the most effective money reduceing agent known to man

Klaatu

You can't, "THEY" have the pussies...and boobies too....

Hysteria1983

Maybe they are after a sugar daddy.... some women can be totally independent and fund their own lifestyles...... as frivolously as they wish.

dunx

iTrader: (3)

Why are all the decent women taken already ?



dunx