andrewdelvard

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Steve Moyer and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're an *******!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "*******," and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then I'd yell, 'You're an *******!" It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the *******. Then one day I had an idea.

I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is Herman with the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an *******!" And the reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.
Just dial 823-4863.

Later...

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the stall. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black camaro come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's an *******, there's sure a lot of ******** in
this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an *******!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said,
"Is this the man with the black camaro for sale?"
"Yes it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's
parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, You're an *******!" And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two ******** to call. Then after several weeks of calling the ******** and hanging up on them, the whole thing started to seem like an obligation. It just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.

First, I had my phone dial ******* #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're an *******!", but I didn't hang up.
The ******* said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah.."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
"Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******!", and I hung up.
Then I called ******* #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, *******!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ***."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now *******!" And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them two homosexuals were having a lover's quarrel down at 1802 West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. I turned onto 34th Street and parked my car under the shade of a tree half a block from ******* #2's house. There were two guys fighting out front. Suddenly there were about 12 police cars and a helicopter. The police wrestled the two men to the ground and took them away. A couple of months go by and I get a call for jury duty. I was picked to be on a trial of two guys charged with disorderly conduct. As luck would have it, it happened to be the same two guys. I might have influenced the jury,
because when they announced the verdict, they said, "We the jury find the defendants to be guilty, and a couple of ********."

Disco

Classic

EvilBevel

LOL

DJ Dunk

iTrader: (5)

Excellent

A$$hole . . . click . . . brrrrrrrrrr

Little Miss WRX

Superb

Shark

chiark

Talk about bearing a grudge. Yeah, it's made up but even so it ain't funny.

Someone gave the writer the wrong number. Person who owns the wrong number is cheesed off with being asked if they can speak to robin all the time - who knows how many times that it has happened... Personally, I'd have Robin arrested for being an *******.

It'd be interesting to see the revenge story that someone has no doubt made up.

Perhaps I'm being to analytical, but if the world behaved like this it would be a worse place to live.

I might try phoning a random number, ask to speak to "bob" and when the other person hangs up, I'll phone them back at random intervals and call them an *******. Oh hang on, I won't. I have a brain.

Sorry, this got to me as really stupid.

andrewdelvard

No need to read so much into it chiark. It's just a quirky piece of American humour. No more, no less.
Maybe finish work a little early today, have a nice long weekend....Relax....

chiark

LOL! Yeah, I did get wound up by it, didn't it?

Weekend? Beer. Mexican. Mates around, watch "Fast and the Furious". Then off to Hull with Rum on Sunday in his new STI. Soooo, it should be a good weekend.

<whisper>damnyankees</whisper>