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Old 09 March 2009, 08:25 AM
  #1  
SwissTony
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Default Pay rise :)

The Day the ***** asked for a Raise


I, the *****, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss



Dear *****:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V. Gina
Old 09 March 2009, 09:59 AM
  #2  
speedking
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Two bags! :
Old 09 March 2009, 12:50 PM
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Terminator X
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I'd heard that there's plenty of ventilation when you're at "work" Swiss

TX.
Old 09 March 2009, 12:53 PM
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SwissTony
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Originally Posted by Terminator X
I'd heard that there's plenty of ventilation when you're at "work" Swiss

TX.
* passes on comment to the good lady and sends details of your email address so she can reply *


The term "Dead man walking " springs to mind
Old 09 March 2009, 01:24 PM
  #6  
Terminator X
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Wasn't a comment about your Other Half Swiss

TX.
Old 09 March 2009, 01:40 PM
  #7  
SwissTony
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Originally Posted by Terminator X
Wasn't a comment about your Other Half Swiss

TX.

Too late mate

Suggest you buy a shovel pronto

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Old 09 March 2009, 03:36 PM
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Lee247
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Old 09 March 2009, 03:42 PM
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Wurzel
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You are unable to work double shifts.
This is not strictly true of all of us??

Anyone want to admit to this statement applying to them
Old 09 March 2009, 03:42 PM
  #10  
Tam the bam
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Very good
Old 09 March 2009, 04:09 PM
  #11  
SwissTony
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Originally Posted by Wurzel
This is not strictly true of all of us??

Anyone want to admit to this statement applying to them
depends on what her sister looks like
Old 09 March 2009, 04:14 PM
  #12  
spireite
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
depends on what her sister looks like
not her sister swiss ,her mother
Old 09 March 2009, 04:21 PM
  #13  
Wurzel
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You both have very valid points there
Old 09 March 2009, 05:12 PM
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mykp
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
This maybe the case sometimes but at least we dont go off to visit our "Aunt flo" for upto a week each month.
Old 09 March 2009, 05:17 PM
  #15  
hux309
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Id never trust anything that bleeds for more than a week and doesn't die.
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