Swiss's Saturday Morning Joke
24 January 2009, 07:34 AM
#1
Swiss's Saturday Morning Joke
Up too early because of the kids 
so may as well do something 
A professor at the University of Canberra was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,
'Do you know what your **** hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably playing golf with his mates.'
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.
Match-making service rejection...
This applicantion was turned down ?
so may as well do something A professor at the University of Canberra was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,
'Do you know what your **** hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably playing golf with his mates.'
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.
Match-making service rejection...
This applicantion was turned down ?
Top answer Chris 
24 January 2009, 01:49 PM
#17
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 39,877
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
24 January 2009, 02:29 PM
#19
Scooby Senior
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Radiator Springs
Posts: 14,810
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I just saw that Karen Matthews has been sent down for 8 years and have to admit feeling rather sad for her. Even if she gets out for good behaviour after three years, she will probably miss the birth of Shannon's first two children.
24 January 2009, 02:48 PM
#21
R.I.P.
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 7,036
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My girlfriend pulled up a chair earlier and said, "We need to talk about our future."
I said, "Yeah, it's gonna be fukcing mental - we'll have flying cars, shiny silver suits, holidays on the moon!"
I'm now single.
I said, "Yeah, it's gonna be fukcing mental - we'll have flying cars, shiny silver suits, holidays on the moon!"
I'm now single.
24 January 2009, 05:08 PM
#25
Scooby Regular
My wife had a baby yesterday. She was in a lot of pain.
She screamed, "You'd better keep your dick away from me!"
The doctor said, "I agree - put it away now."
She screamed, "You'd better keep your dick away from me!"
The doctor said, "I agree - put it away now."
24 January 2009, 05:59 PM
#26
R.I.P.
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 7,036
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Apologies in advance to any Americans here!
An American walked into an English pub and asked for a pint of Budweiser.
The barman replied "You're American aren't you?"
The man says, "Yeah. Could you tell by the drink I ordered, or the accent?"
The barman replied. "Neither, you're just the fattest fukcer I have ever seen."
...............
I was driving through town last week when I saw a big fat American stood in the middle of the road. I ran straight over him. I could have gone around him but I didn't know whether I had enough petrol.
.....................
One of the big differences between American English and British English is that Americans tend to drop the letter "U" from certain words, like colour and honour.
What a bnch of stpid fcking cnts.
An American walked into an English pub and asked for a pint of Budweiser.
The barman replied "You're American aren't you?"
The man says, "Yeah. Could you tell by the drink I ordered, or the accent?"
The barman replied. "Neither, you're just the fattest fukcer I have ever seen."
...............
I was driving through town last week when I saw a big fat American stood in the middle of the road. I ran straight over him. I could have gone around him but I didn't know whether I had enough petrol.
.....................
One of the big differences between American English and British English is that Americans tend to drop the letter "U" from certain words, like colour and honour.
What a bnch of stpid fcking cnts.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post