New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

I'll go first, I've just made a howler!

Developed a bit of a problem with my laptop today. Phoned Dell, and a very helpful technician took control of my computer remotely and said that he was going to download some updates.

Of course, I did remember to move those images Tam et al. have so kindly put on SN for us to download (and a few other *ahem* choice videos) from the download folder didn't I?!?!?!?

Whoops..... I get a real time view of the Dell technician browsing through my "adult" collection for the driver file he's after.

Well, one Dell representative from India just got his day brightened up a bit! and NS04 now has "Internet perv" as a comment on his Dell customer account!

How embarrassing! But if you're going to be able to look back and laugh at something, you may as well do it now! so...

austinwrx

had an extremely explicit email conversation with the gf at work.

about as bad as it could be.


few days later sent it to myself at home, whilst cleaning my in/out box up.

deleted loads. cleaned deleted items out for good.


email never arrived home.


so had a good few weeks, wondering who in either my company- or my personal contacts box it went to.

always kept wondering in mtgs etc if someone was smiling at me- in that "special way "

davegtt

Nice one Nowt to be embarressed about though, Id be more embarressed to be a man and not have a secret **** stash

Moley

iTrader: (9)

I answered the phone to a guy a few weeks ago who wanted to speak to one of my collegues. The customer had a real attitude problem, and was very rude.

So i put him on hold and shouted to my collegue...''John, you have a real arrogant p**ck on the phone''.

.....except i didn't press the hold button quite hard enough!!!

PeteBrant

Going back many many many many years, when I was around 14, we had school diaries. In such books were placed homework assignments, notes, detentions, warnings from teachers and what have you.

I was in French, being taugh by Miss Morris, who had enourmous breasticles. My mate, sat next to me knew I was fascinated by said norks.

He purposely started talking to me and flicking my ear (which used to hurt) in order to get a reaction, which he eventually got.
As he had planned, Miss Morris only saw me misbehaving and said :

"Brant, bring your diary here, now".

Which I duly did.

She opened the diary to the relevant weeks plage, and to my horror my mate had done this amazing picture of Miss Morris displaying enourmous exposed pendulous knockers with the comment "I love Miss Morris" undeneath it.

Crimson is not a red enough colour, I could feel my entire head about to burst. She just said "Do you?" and sent me back to my seat ( and to mate in hysterics) - Without any form of warning or detention written in the book, (probably cos she thought I was going to jizz on her or something in det).

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

It's always french teachers.....or art teachers, isn't it!

Unfortunately they usually have an aversion to shaving their underarms.....and that's a proper boner killer!

Torquemada

I recently took a **** all over my mates sitting room in my sleep after passing out on the sofa after a heavy night of drinking. That wasn't a great situation
We're ok now, had to replace a rug but he's a good mate so no longterm damage!

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

We had a teacher at my old school called Miss Biscup.

Actually I could stop there and you lot could work out the rest of the story.




Well.... she had the most ENORMOUS chest. I mean dead heat in a Zeppelin race type norks, these things were a half moon on each side.

So her nickname was (predictably) Miss Bigcups. I was chatting to my mate as she walked by, she was his form teacher and he wanted a word; so he called out "Oh... Miss Bigcups!"

You could've heard a pin drop.
She stood there rooted to the spot just not looking at anything
I didn't dare laugh but tears were streaming down my face
All around people just... looked.

Then she walked off to the Staff room without saying a word or acknowledging him; and my mate, the poor sod, looked at me and said "I'm going to die for that"

At this point I fell about.

billythekid

Not me but my mate.

Hes driving out to get some lunch in his works car, offers to give one of the PA's a lift to the shops, you know the kind, 20 ish, fit ****, decent rack, apparently hired for their admin skills..... yes yes...

Anyway, my office at that time was about 90% ex squadies and the main point of conversation would always be the office crumpet.

So, my mate is driving along, trying to make small talk and look down her top / up her skirt as he goes. Phone rings (hands free) and he answers to my mate, who at the time I am sat next too. He says, grab him something from the shop, pack of cigs or something... but before he goes he starts to say... did you see Miss X today, ******* hell I would like to get her in the back office and **** her stupid. He then went into yet more detail, about what he would do with her... all as she is sat there, in silence. Explicit stuff LMAO.

The guy driving at this point was about to p1ss himself but he wanted to see how far he would go before he said..... "she is in the car with you isnt she".... took about 60 seconds...

This is the same guy that then almost got sacked for sending HC **** to one of the MDs of the company by mistake!!! Legend.

urdad

Out with a GF many years ago,we were about 16 y.o.
Anyway found ourselves behind some communal garages and we were getting rather involved.
We hear people passing back and forth and think nothing of it until a dog comes up to us,inquisitive,sniffing and playful.
Momentarily followed by it's 2 adult owners,who see us and say "good boy,you knew somone was there",yeah fantastic,over the moon.
Behind the chippy from then on................

j4ckos mate

took a customer out in London (guiness),
on the way down there one of the directors bought some porno mags to read,

went round theri offices and she said we would get lost so she automatically jumped in the back of the car to show us to the exit gates,

**** mags next to her on the seat,

she spent all afternoon telling us how religeous she was as well.

WRX_Dazza

lets just say i managed to get a video cassete stuck in my folks top loading recorder, back in the day !!!

nuff said !

GlesgaKiss

I've had a belter happen to me along the same lines as that.

I was 17, had just got my first car and was out one night enjoying the new freedom I had with the girlfriend of the time. Was sat in an empty car park just outside a small local village. When I had pulled into there at first there was an artic lorry sat in a bit of private road about 1/4 of a mile away...it was pitch black but I knew by the lights that it was a big lorry.

Anyway, I presumed that he was parking up for the night as he was reversed in off the road, and shortly after I put my lights off he also did. About 10 minutes had passed and I started getting down to business when I noticed the lorry's lights were back on, and it was starting to pull out onto the main road that lead to where I was parked. The lorry now comes down the road and stops right by the entrance to my carpark. I thought I could see him checking his map with the interior light on, so again, I stayed relaxed, focused and kept going 'at it'.

Next thing I know there is a knock on the window(heart attack material), then someone opens the door, pokes their head in and shouts "alright boys, you got any weed?"! Alright boys?? WTF! I am there with my girlfriend at the time who is quite fit...so either he is very tired as it's late, or he has been smoking far too much already.

Anyway, I was so shocked I immediatly shouted at him very aggressively which was just a natural reaction; To which he responded "Oh right, sorry boys" and walked back to his lorry.

Nothing will ever come close to being as embarassing as that.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

At the tip in Sharston, dumping a load of rubbish from the people carrier, dragged a carpet and something dropped on the floor, didnt take much notice as I thought I would get it in a minute and was more intent on lumping the ancient, heavy, damp and smelly carpet over the side which I did, turned round and clocked a woman of perhaps early thirties staring horrified at the item that had dropped from the car.




Yes, my wife had instrucuted me to dispose of her old "lady wand" in a secure and discrete manner, for it had perished slightly, it had lost none of its bright pink colour though.....

I looked at the lady, not knowing what to say and just went red, scooped it up and hoiked it vigourously over the side, the batteries had been removed so it was lighter than anticipated and flew a much greater distance to land at the feet of two tip workers who looked round to see who was hoofing bright pink *****'s at them, I did not hang around for fear of health and safety dressing downs and fully expect a new sigh rerrering to the safe disposal of end of life sex toys (the item, not the sex life that is).

Scoobyols69

oldsplice

Mine's similar to Terzoalan's.

Back in the olden days, my then boyfriend and I were in the back of his car at the golf course in the early hours of the morning. Tap on the window.........two police officers. Who then asked if 'the young lady is old enough' !!!!!!!!!!!!

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

jesus, don't even want to remember the many times Caffreys has got me into trouble (and how much it's cost me in replacement items )

my worst internet mistake was when my mate wanted me to send some pics of some of the ****** we've made to a female work colleague, who didn't believe they came in some of the shapes and sizes we've done over the years.

so i send the pics to supplied email addy with the text something like 'here's the ***** you wanted, some of these would make your eyes water' seconds later her husband replys wanting to know 'who the f**k are you? are you some kind of queer?? cheeky c**t' and so forth. whoops. apparently that wasn't her private email address then

luckily he saw the funny side of it, which was handy as he was the size of a house and a kickboxer

HankScorpio

Turbohot

One of my early embarrassing moments is when my father found my diary with the mention of my feelings towards one of my first BFs in it. I was about 15, then. I had only come back from school, and I caught my dad browsing it. I had forgotten it on the dining table, silly me! He said absolutely nothing, never ever even mentioned a word about it. but God! I was so embarrassed............

A recent one was when I was trying to do a three-point turn in a narrow country road with a dead end (I should have known ), and got well and truly stuck What made it worse was that two farmers came out of their houses to tell me how to steer! Jesus! I am not going that lane again

Jamie

Not me but my boss.......bloke was telling him..his son was getting married at the weekend boss said oh who is the lucky bride he turned round and said he is called gary

Jer

Can I ask why/how you came to you make these... Is it your job?

jayb1970

Can't believe I'm puting this in a public forum, but what the hell.


I was about 14 at the time and was getting it on(or so I thought) with the GF and things were heating up a bit, as much as they do when you are 14 anyway. So just getting to the point where clothes were coming off and to my horror found that something had already "come off" leaving a rather large wet patch that was too obvious to hide!
Imagine the embarassment at school for the next few weeks. Man I just wanted to die.

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

it's not the main part of my job (pattern maker by trade, normal stuff is cylinder heads, pump bodies, armatures, finials, anything in a cast metal really) but we make moulds for everything and that progressed to making moulds for ******.

anything and everything has been made over the years!!

it's actually pretty boring work, but helps to pay the bills

so back on the embarassing trend, here's me on a softie

j4ckos mate

i ran myself over at shartson tip,

i jumped out of the car, thinking it was in park but it wasnt it was in reverse, but my legs went under me on a load of old hedge cuttings.
i ended with them both under the car scrabbling for grip. trying to hold a vauxhall carlton at bay with a drivers door armrest.
j4ckos is the best though

j4ckos mate

j4cko you kept that quiet,
thats the funniest thing i have heard in a long time.

Mifo

iTrader: (10)

when I were about 16 I went on a school trip to france for 3 days.
when we were heading back I phoned home to tell my mum to pick me up from school as we were nearly back.
I asked what she had been up to . The reply was, giving your room a good clean out.
I about died realising Id left a **** vid in there!!!
we never spoke about it!

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

You were there when the replacement was purchased !

Lee247

Oh, I dunno. I would have loved to have seen this

Tam the bam

Coming home from school to find my copy of Hustler Mag ripped into postage stamp sized bits after my Maw had a clear out in my room My Dad just laughed and said boys will be boys

My GF when I was 15 deciding to take a leak when we were out for a country walk She decided to pee near a hedge, which on the other side had a road, no problem as the car drivers couldn't see her, although the truck driver musta got a cracking view of her **** as he blasted his horn and gave me the thumbs up as he passed