AirConDave

Before I go to far, I simply ask that no-one takes the **** on this thread. I apologise for the lack of emoticons, but as I type this, my mood is extremely negative.

Tonight I have learned that Dave, one of my old regulars, and someone I counted as a friend has died of a brain tumour.

From what I've been told, Dave only found out that he had a brain tumour 10 days ago and had not told many people as it was thought that it could be treated and he didn't want to worry too many of his friends or family.

Either way, the worst has happened and Dave has passed away.

I'm shocked. I'm saddened as he was someone who always brightened up my day when he visited my pub with his wife, and I'm feeling slightly emotional.

Why am I annoyed and f*cking furious? Quite simply as, while I was having a drink in my, and Dave's, local tonight, the landlord who took over after I left, approached myself and my friends and asked for cash towards a floral bouquet for Dave.

Yes, it sounds nice at first. But he did not ask if I, or any of my friends, were aware of what had happened to Dave. Slightly insensitive you may agree.

But this is where it really p*ssed me off - as the ex-manager of the pub, and being there when several regulars died, I know that the company actually pays for floral tributes for the departed customer.

At the moment I am a mix of emotions - between being sad for losing a friend, pissed off as the new manager (who is more experienced than I was and knows the ropes better than I do) is trying to extract money from customers to pay for flowers that the company are going to pay for anyway, and I'm thinking I'd like to f*ck the new manager over for trying to make money out of this horrible situation.

Even more emotions come into play, for me alone, as it is only 4 days short of what would have been my step-daughters 3rd birthday, if she had not died of meningitis in December 2006. Since then, I've split with her mother, but I do miss that little angel. She may not have been mine, but I loved her as if she was and knowing it's that time of the year is really re-inforcing matter. The company paid for the floral tribute for my step daughter too, even though they did not have to.

At the moment I'm feeling a lot of anger towards the new manager who, as far as I'm concerned, is trying to make money out of someone elses misfortune. I have enough sh*t on the new manager that if I passed to the head office, the new manager would be dismissed.

If you were in my shoes, and you could see that your friends death was being used by someone to line their own pocket - and you had enough to get rid of that person who is manipultaing the sitiuation- what would you do?

coolangatta

Are you sure that he's 'on the make'?
Could it be that he intends to provide an additional floral tribute to the one provided by the company?
Why don't you sound him out?
Simply ask if any money he collects is to go to an additional arrangement.

AirConDave

At the moment I am too annoyed/upset to ask.

Some of the info I have on him is for scamming.

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

As above, you would have to be 100% sure before destroying someone, high emotion can make you see things slightly differently at the time.

Not saying your wrong, just that you need to be sure.

Sorry to hear about your friend too.

Stephb1986

Sorry to hear about your friend, it sounds like this bloke is pretty sick in the head if he's trying to make money out of someones death, perhaps ask him if he's arranging another arrangement other than the company one and if not why is he asking for money off customers?

I hope your ok, don't get too irate its not good for you

take care

Steph xx

Lee247

What a tragic story

You need to be aware of the facts before you charge in. You are highly emotional at the moment and the slightest thing will set you off.

Take care

The Zohan

You sound upset.

Take a deep breath

Sugest you speak to the landlord and say that it is a nice idea he has had. Hovwever is he aware that the pub chain provide a tribute for regulars that pass away.

He may not be aware of the company policy, he may be (on the take?). However, he will know that you know the score and isn't likely to try it again.

Keep your emotions out of it and keep it friendly and unconfrontational.

It is your friend that hjas passed on and at the end of the day your local. Do not let this in anyway tarnish the memory of your friend Dave.

stilover

^^^^

What he said. The guy could be collecting for an additional arrangement, as a tribute from all the local drinkers, on top of the one from the Brewery.

I knew some who died from a Brain Tumour too. 18 years old, just finished college and looking forward to going to Uni. Kept getting terrible headache's but put it down to computer games, college work etc.

Parents insisted he go to the Doctors as his headache's were getting worse. Doctor sent him to Hospital for tests/scan. Within 6 months he passed away.

Not a nice thing to happen to anyone, but the younger they are, the worse it seems.

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Aw matey I feel for you, I really do It's such a shock when someone dies unexpectedly and you go through the whole gamut of emotions in a very short space of time. Give yourself a few days to let the news sink in before doing anything as regards the manager.

If you want to talk ring me, I'll PM you my number

stilover

Can I have your phone number too?

The Zohan

Some quality sharking and using this as an reason to - priceless

BEHAVE!

mart360

Dave,

step back, let your emotions subside, and then look at the situation.

all i can see by reading the thread is sombeody who has suffered a loss, (to which i offer my condolences,) is looking for an outlet for ther grief / emotions.

wading in now will do more harm than good.


regs

Mart

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Friend of ours died of a Brain tumour last year, only a few weeks between diagnosis and him passing.

Sorry you felt you had to warn about us taking the p1ss, we are pretty bad but not that bad, honest.

AirConDave

Cheers for the words folks. I'm going to be sticking to this line:

Leslie

I can understand that you feel so upset, my very good friend is lying in the local hospice at the moment and they say he has not got long left. Why does it always happen to the good blokes?

I think you should be careful not to leap in too quickly, he may well not understand the traditional way of things and it might be a good idea just to ask him about it politely. Saves the possibility of embarrassment or offence where it might not be deserved.

Les

AirConDave

Sorry to hear about your friend, Les. I hope he isn't in pain.

The Zohan

Why o why, i lost a friend to cancer aged 23, i see kids diagnosed with horrible diseases and a poor prognosis and ask why not Sutcliffe or Huntley or Mugabwee or Blair or any number of evil scumbags.

It is not right and does not seem at all fair.

Truely sorry to hear about your friend Les.

Dracoro

Does he even know about the company policy regarding paying for this sort of thing?

Does the company still offer this?

Maybe he wants to give something more than the company will pay for etc.

Either way, a polite couple of questions will reveal if he's on the make. Don't go storming in as you don't know the facts yet.

Markus

Seed bag! Ok, I know not the best time to yell it, but it might raise a smile from you and sounds like you need it, plus you know I'm not taking the pish

I agree with Dracoro, ask a few polite questions, see if he's taking the pish, and if so, it's bang out of order and he needs to be told so, and others need to be made aware he's on the take.

Speaking from experience, at least Dave went quickly, and you didn't have to see him wither away over seven months from a very happy and funny bloke into essentially just a husk, a mere shell of the former person he was, you didn't see the pain and anger in his eyes that this is happening and nothing can be done about it.

Leslie

My thanks to you and Dave Paul. We saw him yesterday for an hour and a half and he is so drugged up that he can only stay awake for a couple of minutes at a time. He has changed so much in the last 10 days or so that we did not recognise him at first in the ward.

He is my closest friend in this area and it is so upsetting to see what has happened to him. The only good bit is that the hospice he is in is a superb old mansion with a beautiful garden and the staff just can't do enough for the patients.

He is a man who would help anyone regardless and he just does not deserve this.

Les

Diesel

personally i would do or say nothing. He may have a good heart but if only one bunch of flowers turn up from the pub then hang him out to dry.
So park it for now and remember your mate.
Best wishes
D

DCI Gene Hunt

Sorry to hear this Les....

little-ginge

Sorry to hear about your friends, Dave & Lesley.

Dave, it's obviously a difficult time at the moment, given your news, and the anniversary, but remember them with fondness & love, and don't allow the new manager to overshadow those feelings

ScoobyWon't

I can reveal that Dave has chilled out now

little-ginge

Good to hear

jods

My 2p worth.

Reckon the new Landlord was just rustling up £ to provide a wreath from the pals. When a good man {Geoff Beresford} Macclesfield died, the locals all chipped in and bought a solid brass plaque inscribed with his name and a quote that was pertinent to him. It still adorns the wall above his fave spot at the bar. {Puss in Boots - Buxton Road - Macclesfield}

Leslie

My sincere thanks to all who sent their best wishes over my close friend in the local Hospice.

When I got home yesterday evening I fould out that he had died yesterday morning. This is a terrible shock since I was not expecting it so soon. I was going to see him again today.

I feel a bit lost at the moment, he was a very much above average person in all respects.

Les

ScoobyWon't

My thoughts are with you Les.

SiPie

Sorry to hear about your friend Les, you have spoken very highly of him on the other threads (assuming it was the same chap)