Snazy

Got on the train on the way home from the hospital with my dear old mum this afternoon. A few minutes after sitting down and getting settled with my copy of AutoExpress, I see a whole group of school kids at the train door with their teachers...

They got on the train and start finding seats, on a pretty empty train. At this time im more than aware one may sit opposite, so keep an eye open, but in the meantime remain cross legged, and reading.

Suddenly I see a lad appear infront of me, and suddenly he just says "you need to move your legs" in quite a rude and brash tone. I look up and glare for a moment.......... then on looking around I realised something. Its a group of special needs kids, autistic.

Talk about awkward. He is now looking out of the window, almost through me, trying not to make eye contact.

I was just engaging my mouth to say "you need to learn some manners" when I realised. Glad i didnt. Just unfortunate there is no way to identify that some of their actions are not going to be what you would expect. There was a teacher nearby, but she said nothing. It was only watching and listening that I worked out what was what.

Just to point out I am not suggesting they wear baseball caps or t-shirts saying IM AUTISTIC or something, but that I almost made a real bad decision.

bootsy

close, but good call no harm done

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

Odd isn't it?

Lack of consideration is lack of thought for others. What you've demonstrated is that it can happen in 'unexpected' ways.

You demonstrated that you stopped and thought (and looked!) and showed consideration yourself. Had you snapped the automatic reply, then effectively you could be considered inconsiderate to others....

Nice one mate!

Simon C

Close shave Snazy, but you checked yourself.

Best 1 I have been party too. Going to Herne Hill with the then GF a group of kids get on the train and start talking.


As the train goes through a tunnel the voices get louder, and it becomes obvious that their talking about sex.

1of the girls, then pipes up and poses a question to the lads in the group, the question being "if you were a girl, would you finger yourself"


Unfortunatly her timing was out, she asked just as the train came out of said tunnel, I have never seen someone go quite so red, quite so quickly!!!

Sonic'

We have that problem all the time Snazy, so many people engage their mouths without actually thinking there is a problem

You can actually buy t-shirts on ebay saying 'Im not naughty, I'm Autistic' being sold by someone called autism-uk or somthing similar, and it is something that we would never ever put on our child to wear

One thing you may not know, is that Autistic people dont do eye contact, so even if you had have said nothing you wouldnt have got any eye contact anyway

Good on you for having a little restraint and being aware of the situation

DCI Gene Hunt

All it takes is 15 seconds of thought before engaging mouth....


Unlike when typing a post and calling all welsh people in it sheep ********


Which they are........


^^^ See example above

mike2.5subaru

Eskimo on holiday in Wales and the car breaks down. Welshman looks under the bonnet,says "you've blown a seal". Eskimo says "so what,- youfu@k sheep".

Snazy

Yeah was aware of the eye contact thing, just the fact he held eye contact for 5 seconds prior to looking out of the window, made me feel a bit uneasy, knowing the eye contact we had made could have been as profound as any words I may have uttered.

The t-shirts are a good idea, in one respect anyway. Raises awareness for future encounters for those not understanding the condition anyway

lol @ the train story, I can picture that now.

Cheers for the compliments and comments guys Was not looking for them, but was expecting to be called names lol.

Very glad I have the level of awareness that I do, and in future I shall make an even more concious effort to consider before commenting. Glad it worked out the way it did At the end of it, listening in on the excitement of the trip for them all, they sounded like a lovely bunch Happy I didnt ruin their day.

Lee247

Good for you, Snazy

Sonic, I saw a child with one of those t shirts. I think it stinks. Poor kid. I find Autism fairly easy to spot and just smile at the child in question. No need to announce it to all and sundry as if it is something to warn people about. The child can't help it. If you tell me you have one for your child, I will have to kill you

Lee247

oops, you haven't. Good show

ScoobyWon't

Surely that can be abused and anyone can buy/wear one? I hope I'm wrong (but I'm feeling cynical at the moment).

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

for someone unawares of the ins/outs of this condition, can someone elaborate a little for me. when i started reading the first post i thought "rude little sh*t" but then having found the kid was disabled in some way i reconsidered my thoughts. just done have a clue what autism is.

Snazy

In a word, Rainman.
Although that stereotypes a serious condition. Most will have a very advanced grasp on something, be it numbers, music, art etc. However basic social skills are very much impaired, and the ability to interact can be lacking somewhat.

For the official line on it, here goes...

The end result, wonderful normal human beings, children and adults, where possible very normal people. But once the tell tale signs are spotted its worth going easy on them. The reaction to forced interactions, i.e me telling him he needed to learn some manners, can cause a really upsetting reaction for all concerned. Usually emotional.

Hope that makes sense, and does not make a mockery of the condition.
And I hope they had a wonderful day out too

SiPie

Yup.....

I was merrily cycling through Edinburgh on the way home one night when a pedestrian stepped straight off the pavement into my path....

Slammed on the anchors and knee jerkingly shouted....

Are you alright in the f*****g head...?

I quickly realised that clearly he wasn't

Didn't feel the best after that little exchange

Snazy

lets hope the comment bounced off
I felt pretty crap yesterday after it too. Just the glare would have made some people cry lol. But I guess at least thats where it ended for both of us.

Used to work with a lovely guy Michael (no not my alter ego)...
He was getting to grips with social interaction, and had a talent for the national rail timetables.
Tell him a start point, destination and time of travel and I guarentee he could start to tell you the route long before the online timetables can. Crazy, but it kept him going being challenged on it a few times a day.

jasey

I've got a t-shirt that says "I've not got Tourettes - I really do think you're a ****"

Well done Snazy for not jumping to conclusions - and of course if they hadn't been special needs kids - well done for not getting your head kicked in !

Snazy

lol aint that the truth, although a few of them would have ended up the same way. Wanna swing punches, you can take a few too then lol..

My mum was there, and she would have clipped all their ears, so I was safe man

Leslie

Well done Snazy.

Les

Spoon

Manners are manners, I'd have chinned him and then told him he was going to want special needs now.

Sonic'

Lesley If I had one of those T-Shirts Donna would kill me

One thing I read somewhere a while back was a couple was out shopping with their autistic son, and he was having a major episode, and a passer by said something along the lines of 'isnt it a shame' meaning for the mother, and the mother turned round and said 'yes it a shame having a disability' and the passer by hung her head in shame and walked off

Rainman is a bit of sterotyping, but they did try to capture all the nuances of autism in one person

However Mozart and the Whale is a much better film, and so is Snowcake, in fact Snowcake is a fantastic film, Sigourney Weaver plays the part to an absolute tee

When we were re-housing Sonic Dog, P1mark came to visit to see him, and we forewarned him about Andrew and some of the things he might do, and P!Mark said afterwards that had we not told him he probably would have only stayed about 5 minutes, as he was pre-prepared for Andrew (although still not quite knowing what to expect) he stayed several hours and came back

I would say you dont really want to get a person with Autism wanting to fight you, Andrew when he was 4, broke my nose, a few months ago he ripped the bedroom door off its hinges, aged 5, he has bit my arm and drew blood, but then the next day bit his own arm because he wanted to be like me!

for a (now just turned 6) he is incredibly strong, as are most autistic people I have met

The Zohan

In my younger days.

driving slowly down a street. traffc parked either side so narrow - enough for two cars to squeeze down. car coming towards me, slightly over my side so i stop. he keeps coming and just about to hit my bumper and i move back and hit the horn.

He moves over slightly so not hit he, draws level and just ignores me. He is traveling slowly so i tap his window (sat in my car still) He stops (he was doing around 1/2 mph) an winds down his window as says 'WHAT!?' in an aggressive manner.

I point out "maners cost nothing"

he says "SO WHAT!"

I am now annoyed, point out that if he continues like this "i'll break his legs" (God knows why i said that rather than "smack you one" i do not know)

At this point i spotted the Wheelchair and hand controls in the car.

I apologised for my comment and still pointed out "manners cost nothing" He was still a rude, arrogant pr1ck but my comment was out of place.

I learned a lesson - two eyes one mouth or two ears one mouth - use in that ratio

jasey

Should have broken the tw@ts arms

davegtt

LMAO @ Paul. Nasty as it sounds its still funny

Spoon

To be honest, Paul, you had no reason whatsoever to apologise except it probably hid the fact you feel a bit daft and was the first thing that came into your head.

Manners are manners genuinely in this case, the wheelchair and hand-controls were for a physical disability which doesn't excuse his behaviour.

You should have added something like "Ah, that's not going to be as effective as maybe if I just take your car keys and put them on the back seat"

pwhittle

at least you see that it would have been offensive - many don't.

we were at Whitby at the weekend, stood outside a cafe, and a girl (maybe 8-9) was staring at my daughter (who has Downs). Then we moved further down the street, and I saw her and her mum taking the p!ss. The girl should have known better IMO, but for her mum to do it beggered belief. I honestly felt like chucking them both over the wall, but my wife hadn't noticed, so I let it go.
Really ruine dmy weekend that. some people just think they have the right to offend others (comments like "people like that should be kept at home").

No doubt Sonic has witnessed similar. I've yet to find a way to deal with it.

The Zohan

It makes me both mad and sad to hear this, Parents are a child's first point of contact and their first role models, what chance does a child have with poor parent like that to look to for social guidance. Respect for others and themselves in the most important and fundamental thing a parent can pass onto a child

Having kids myself has changed how i behave - for the better i think, kids do watch they do take it all in (Someone once described a child like a sponge - soaks everything up) and if you have a bad day then i think it can reflect in their mood and attitudes as well and you have to be thoughtful and put them first.

I hope your little girl did not see nor hear the scumbag mother.

Sonic'

Yes we have on many occasions, I try to ignore it sometimes, sometimes Donna wants to go and deck them, its difficult with Andrew, if he were in a wheelchair, or had downs, or cerebal palsy etc a disability that can be seen then people are more accepting (usually)

We try and ignore most of it, but sometimes I will turn round and say something back, usually along the lines of what I said that woman said earlier

davegtt

Thats just ridiculous and worries me that some people we share society with can behave in such ways. Its a sad state of affairs, especially for the "mother" to encourage the child too. Shows what sort of generation is being bred.

Spoon

That reminds me. A guy I know who uses a wheelchair full-time was sitting outside a shop in town. He had been stationary for about 5 minutes waiting for his wife to come out of the shop when a lady who wasn't watching where she was walking, smacked straight into him.

She then said "What a stupid place to sit" and walked off.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Something similar happened to me, was watching a panto at the Lowry in Manchester when some teenagers came in behind me, didnt take much notice, just caught them out of the corner of my eye, quite a lot of activity, they Panto starts and something hits me on the back of the neck, there is also giggling and grunting so Ithink they are taking the p1ss looking to get a rise out of me, so I ignore it and then a few minutes later a chunk of something lands in my hair, I think it was a pie crust as it came with a meaty smell which made me queasy, I was getting well annoyed but again just ignored it, it then happened again.

So I turn round, fists clenched and get ready to snot some smirking little ****, I put my hand out ready to grab scruff of someones neck only to be met by the happy, innocent eyes of a lad with Downs Syndrome who was stuffing his face with all manner of crap from a butty box, he held the box out to me thinking I wanted a butty or one of his sweets, his carer apologized and so did I, I am glad I didnt just slap him, imagine that in the papers !

Anyway, he had eaten rather a lot, the carer got him a tub of ice cream which he got half way through and then launched Andy Pipkin (Dont want it) style past my ear to land on the empty seat in front, empty apart from the rather attractive late teens girls just parking her bottom straight onto it, she turned round and glared at me ! my wife saw her glare at me and glared at me also, i could think of nothing more noble than to point at the downs Kid behind me, but when accused wrongly of interfering with young ladies bottoms I take my honour quite seriously, dont knwo where my wife thought I had got the ice cream ?

Anyway, I then heard a retching sound "bloody hell June have you got a bag or sommat" then some scuffling and more retching, so I launched forward just before about a litre of Ice cream, Pork Pie, Sandwiches, sweets, Coke and god knows what exploded from the Downs lad, I am glad i moved as I would have got a puke shampoo otherwise, then he would have been snotted one !