scoobynutta555

Last week I put my fob on the roof of the car when I was strapping my daughter into her car seat. Off I merrily drove, got to my destination and realised I didn't have my fob. Oh crap, I remember leaving it on the roof. I retraced my steps on the 4 mile journey and mananged to find it around 1/2 mile from my home, and it still worked. I vowed never to do it again.

On Thursday I replaced the batteries as they were dying (£7). Yesterday, strapping the daughter in again I put the fob on the roof thinking I'd never be stupid enough to leave it on there and lose it again. Get to my destination, oh **** no fob, what a complete and utter bloody moron I am, couldn't find it this time. I don't know what I'm more upset about, losing the fob again the same way, or paying out for new batteries the day before.

Anyone else done something as stupid?

j4ckos mate

my sister left her mot licenece insurance under her wipe and then droven down the m60 and lost them

j4ckos mate

i very nearly ran myself over aswell, i was vhucking some stuff out at the tip and slipped on the floor getting out of the car but it wasnt in park it was in reverse

NotoriousREV

I helped a mate change the clutch in his 1800 Marina one day. After putting it all back together, he started her up and put her into reverse and there was no drive. The clutch pedal was working fine but there was just no movement regardless of which gear you selected. After a bit of head scratching, I noticed the propshaft leaning up against the garage wall...

Shark Man

When doing some work on my Land Rover, we replaced the engine mounts as they were badly perished. We found a load of shims placed underneath the mounts and couldn't fathom why they were there; as the engine fitted fine (and level) without them. So in with the new mounts and binned the shims.

Skip forward to MOT time I went out to accompany the tester with the tapley metre. 1st stop, great - nearly head-butted the dash (wasn't ready - and no seat belt on), 2nd fine, 3rd...was accompanied by lots of smoke.

Gararge was literally 50yards away so limped back in, looked underneath to find the oil filter has split.....after being hit by the front differential.

Ahh, so that's what the shims were for


On the bright side, the brakes averaged 99% efficiency...scoob couldn't even come close to that

myblackwrx

iTrader: (1)

Put my mobile phone (the motorola mr1) on top of my 205gti went round a mates' house, got out the car and found it still on top

or a particularly stupid/funny moment i took my mate and his missus to a hotle near Gatwick airport before they went on their hols,filled up with petrol before hand and went on my merry way 30/40 miles into the journey (on motorway) a Celica came upto the side and beeped his horn and said 'you're flap is open' looked in the side mirror and i had indeed ,pulled over shut it then carried on.
Get to the hotel opened the boot and i heard something drop down ,wtf was that then realised it was my petrol cap so i'd driven about 100 miles with the petrol cap stuck underneath my low level spoiler (i've go a 93wrx) DOH

Scooby Soon!

why dont you get a fob on a keyring attached to your key like everyone else

scoobynutta555

The connecting strap was made of plastic and broke off. I seem to break all fob attachments as I put keys in pockets. I was going to attach a metal link between the fob and my keys but thought I could do without it

Scooby Soon!

obviously not!

pslewis

On a Sierra many years ago I had fitted a TowBar and Electrics.

I was being a good boy and put an uprated indicator relay under and behind the dash to replace the standard unit .... the standard unit was attached to a metal part of the body, I couldn't fit the uprated unit there .. so, I wrapped it in bubble wrap to stop it rattling and jammed it in the wiring harness.

Tested the trailer board and all lights worked as they should ... excellent.

Put the lower dashboard plastic cover back on and tested the trailer board again ... this time the indicators simply stuck on!!

Took the lower plastic cover off again and tried it once more ... all lights worked perfectly!

Turned the indicators on while the lower plastic cover was away, working fine - offered the plastic cover up to the mountings, indicators stuck on!!???

What the hell difference does a plastic trim piece make to the indicator relay????

I was going mental, I know what I'm doing when it comes to Electro-Mechanical Engineering ....... yet here I was witnessing something which flew in the face of science!!!!

There had to be a simple explaination ....... but I couldn't see it - for hours I looked and thought and looked again.

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Eventually, it hit me .........

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The Sierras had their front speakers mounted in the lower plastic dash - the magnetic field from that speaker was pulling the relay contact on permanently!! So, when the dash was within about 100mm range the speaker magnet would operate the relay - moving away allowed it to work as it should!!

What a daft muppet I was!!

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Back in the mid nineties I put my Nokia 101 (housebrick mobile for you youngsters ) on the scuttle panel of my car whilst unloading some stuff. I then got back in and drove off turning into a busy main road.

About a mile down that road I remembered where I'd put my phone and felt that awful sinking feeling I drove back at high speed and eventually found my phone in the road, unfortunately it was in a kabillion pieces having been driven over by a variety of different vehicles. It was my first mobile phone and I was gutted and despite only having had one for a year or so was already surgically attached to it

I drove straight to Currys and took out a new contract which came with an ultra modern and tiny (slightly smaller housebrick) Ericsson which was the last word in cool back then It was even able to do this new fandangled thing called 'texting' which was the latest revolution in mobiles It cost me a fortune though

Shark Man

I wired in an alarm by following the wiring diagrams/colour codes in a Haynes manual for my XR3

Being ultra-**** and neat, I tapped into all connections from behind the fuse/relay box, so nothing ran up or near the steering column (one of the first things a theif rips off when attempting stealing a car).

Due to the battery being flat (so was removed to put on the charger), I could not test the connections.

Seems the Haynes colour codes aren't quite as accurate as one would think.

So once the battery was put back on and the alarm was fired up and tested, instead of the indicators flashing, the wipers did one pass, and the heater fan came on instead.

j4ckos mate

i cleaned my car lifted the bonnet up put it on ts tand and pulled the wipers back to clean them they passed uner the bonnet by a mile as i wiped the housing and cleaned the black platic panel they are in,



then shut the bonnet on them.



and only today i cleaned the works van and my neighbour parked right up its chuff, so rather than jumpin in and movin it up i just turned the key a quick turn whilst it was in gear and the handbrake on it moved it a couple of inches the first time.


the second time the ******* key jumped out of my hand and it was off down the road on idle and the brake wasnt holding it, had to jump in and turn the key, and looked like a right dick

ScoobyDriverWannabe

Had a flat tyre other day, pumped it up and it was fine for the day but when i came to go out this morning it was flat as a fart again so had too change the wheel. found a damm pop rivet in it when i got wheel off.

Anyway i put the steeley on and started driving up the street & had that sinking feeling as mentioned above, couldnt remember where id put the key off the locking wheel nut. Pulled over and luckily it was still on the wheel nut.

A wile back me m8 had a pug 106 GTI. He turned up at mine asking me too help him fit a new stereo & sub. Got the stereo in fine & working then connected the sub up & fed all the wires through.

Just had too get the power cable through too the battery. Id read on a few forums easiest way too do it was too feed the cable through the rubber grommet the bonnet cable goes through.

The rubber was a bit tough so the cable wouldnt go through. I went into the garage too get a smaller piece of wire too feed it through but wile i was gone me m8 picked up a drill and made his own whole through it.

So i came back and let him get on with it, i took drill off him too put away wile he was feeding the cable through. After taking the drill bit out of the drill i could smell the petrol on my fingers.

I knew something was wrong so told him too stop what he was doing and look for a leak. Couldnt see any petrol anywere but the smell was strong.

By this time me dad came out who is a little more knowledgeable of cars & said there wont be no pressure so have a go at starting it up and see if can see where its coming from.

So me m8 starts it up and i get a shower of petrol. Right behind the rubber grommit was the fuel line which my m8 had pretty much drilled in half.

Had too call the AA out, was pitch black and snowing by the time the bloke eventually got here.

Car wasnt driveable so the AA had too tow him home then tow him too a garage the next day.

Because where the hole in the pipe was situated a new piece couldnt be added. It was right at the bottom where the pipe goes into the chasis and connects too the metal pipe.

Cost him about £700 too get it back ont he road, they had too take most of the engine out and half the body apart too gain access too it.

Although i got my licence a few year ago i havnt drove much until recently when my dad gave me his car due too him being unable too drive it no more.

1st time i drove it by my self i went into town too do a bit shopping & parked it in a multistorey. Came back put shopping in the boot and opened the passenger side door before climbing into the back seat. That was embarassing with a car waiting for me too pull out and people sitting in the car next too me. Had too use the looking under seat excuse. I was so used too my dad driving with my mum sitting in the passenger seat.

fast bloke

LMAO - Helped a mate rebuild the entire front suspension and brakes on an elderly Chevette. We ran out of beer about the same time as I reconnected the new brake hoses to the master cylinder, so I went off for supplies. Went out for a test run the next morning.... I noticed two slave cylinders sitting in the passenger footwell.... conversation goes like this

Me - "What did you get new slave cylinders for? Those ones were fine"
Him- "Whats a slave cylinder?"


Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The nut on the end of the hose was the same size as some random thread he had found somewhere near the wheel, so he thought it must have been the right one.

Did a 30 minute head change on a mini once - old head off, new (skimmed) one on, everything back in place except the rocker cover. Old rocker gasket was a bit ropey, so nipped to the place up the road for a new one. Useless staff, so it took 20 minutes to get it. Came back, fitted rocker cover, went for a test drive. Fine for about 10 minutes, then it went off a cylinder, just like it used to do with the old head.........limped back home trying to work out what was wrong. Da comes in and says " I see you had started to change the head in the Mini - I put the new one in for you - I sent the old one to Smiths (engineering place that skims Mini heads mostly) to get it skimmed so you have a spare" - Fek...

phil_wrx

iTrader: (2)

mate of mine about 3 months ago was fitting a new head unit and sub in his new evo fq300, when it came to run the power cable to battery he couldnt get the cable through the gromet so he gently shoved it through with a screwdriver .................................................. ...............


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£1200 for a new ecu after he accidently damaged the ecu control wires that ran through that gromet i couldnt stop laughing as i had to use same method on my scooby and all was fine scooby wins again

Snazy

My first memory of car stupidity was a long long time ago when I passed my test in 90-91. Driving a Vauxhall Chevette as my first car lol.
The exhaust was blowing, so as you do, went and got an exhaust wrap, and spent the afternoon cutting the pipe, rejoining it and repairing.

While up on the ramps, started it up, lovely, purring away. Super I thought, and reversed the car off the ramps. Forgetting to remove the axle stands I was using........ one of which in the process of reversing off ripped straight through the back box.

Well that was an afternoon wasted lol

Snazy

Another stupid moment was in another Vauxhall, Vectra this time.
First almost new car I had owned, and still on finance.

The engine light was coming on, and it turned out to be the cam sensor. £35 for the sensor and £100 fitting seemed a bit unfair, so I decided DIY was the way forward.
Removing the cam cover, I got stuck with 1 bolt I could not reach properly, so decided to pry the cover to see if I could free it up.
After 10 mins of trying, sticking the screwdriver in there, still no joy. So as usual I admitted defeat and gave up.

An hour later I decided to go out. On starting the car, it banged rattled and screamed in pain at me.

Somehow I had managed to either lift the belt and move something, or caused something to get wedged under the belt, causing it to slip 6 teeth !

New engine £1500..... all for the sake of £100 labour. False economy?

bish667

iTrader: (1)

I once fitted a rear splitter to my calibra, had it on and thought it looked good,was about an inch off the ground(thinking back the car was very max poo so never again with stupid mods). Had to have the back end jacked up as the wheels needed to come off as they were in the way of putting the screws in. Was all fine and was ready to take the car a spin to show it off.
Took it down the road and felt a slight banging. Stopped to have a look as i thought it was scraping off something but couldnt see anything. Pulled off again but the banging was getting worse so i pulled into a shop car park and had another look,still nothing. So decided to drive the car back up to my house to have a better look. As i pulled out of the car park and gone round the corner i looked in my wing mirror to see the wheel wasnt going in a normal circular motion,it was swaying badly so i stopped as quick as i could. At the same time as i stopped the wheel came off and the brake disc jammed to the bottom of the inside of the alloy

At first i thought the suspension had broken but after some not so difficult investigating, I had forgotten to fully tighten the nuts on 1 wheel after taking it off the jack.
luckilly because the alloy had landed underneath the alloy it had stopped the rear bumper/splitter,exhaust and god knows what else from being destroyed.

Was just able to get the jack under the car and get the wheel back on after finding the nuts here and there, was also a pain cos it happened on a hill.

My mate said to me "What did it feel like when the wheel was coming off while you were driving as i always wondered".

Leslie

So its not just the oldies then.

Les

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

Well - here's one I'm ashamed to admit but it got a laugh at the time, so why not.

Previous car (one of my 3 Cavaliers) had a blocked water bottle for the windscreen.

A mate said to get a high pressure air hose (like they have at the petrol station) and at a convenient 't' junction blow air back through to the bottle and blast clear the obstruction.

Great idea!!!

So off I toddle to the local tescos petrol station (very busy one) and pop the bonnet, open the cap to the water bottle and pull the (prepared) 't' junction apart.

Press hose around end (get a pretty good seal) and squeeze.

There was a pause, a longer pause and then a great fountain of water shot up!

Excellent!

At this point in time a family pulled up behind me and I mouth "just be 2 mins mate" to the father.

Deciding it'd be a good idea to "just make sure" I blasted again..... nothing... nada, zip.

Hmmmm..... press again... Nothing.

(I swear I did this bit!)

Lean forward, look down top of bottle and press.

There was this HUGE fountain of water and I got utterly, utterly drenched. I stand there dripping (well POURING) water down my face and look across at the family who are naturally howling with laughter. Thinking I'd finish off the show I pressed the button again and finished off the impromptu shower.

The kids were crying with laughter at this point and father looked like he was having trouble breathing.

I gave a little bow, dropped the bonnet and drove off.

FlightMan

Nice one!

sti-04!!

ScoobyWon't

I was going to remove the front passenger wheel from a 2002 Mini Cooper when I noticed that it had a BMW locking wheel-nut but no key to remove it

Not too silly, but frustrating.

Bubba po

The long winter nights must just fly by.

Brun

Changed the head on my 1.9 GTi many many years back - having never done anything similar before. The car didn't run right when i got it back together. Was really pi55ed having spent all that time doing it for it to run wrong. I drove round to my mates house and decided to sink a few beers. Anyway, after a few wet ones, my mate pulls out his recreational tobacco and i proceed in trying out it's relaxing properties - a few spliffs later, i decide it would be a good idea to solve my Pugs problems. Into the gararge and using his dads non-ideal toolkit i dis-assemble my sick pug into many bits and re-assemble. I have no real memory of what i did to it, or how long it took - all i know is that it worked perfectly ever since

Shark Man

Not really a stupid story, but when I was working as an A/c monkey. We were doing a contract job on an air handling system at an Audi Dealership.

I happened to walk past this old (but tidy) Audi coupe running dog rough and a Audi spanner monkey looking at the engine with a very puzzled look on his face (I guess he was stuck as he couldn't plug in a diagnostics computer ). I casually commented "Sounds like the cam timings out". Which it did. (Don't ask me how my ears can detect duff cam timing, they just can - must be in the blood )

He just looked at me with a "who the f**k are you" expression, so I carried on, and he carried on. Throughout the day I noted him poking and prodding, multimetre out etc.


Next day I walked past to finally see the timing cover off and him in the process of taking off the timing belt. So I said "cam timing out then?" He just blanked me, but another Audi tech walking past who overheard grinned at me and nodded...said it all.

Bubba po

Shark Man

Another: I forgot to tighten the wheel nuts up once.

The wheels didn't fall off

<end>

Bubba po

What would be the wheel-nut torque setting on an old (but tidy) Audi coupé, as a matter of interest, Shark Man?