I have a theory. Does it work in real life?
23 February 2008, 06:56 PM
#1
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I have a theory. Does it work in real life?
My theory is this:
If you see one of those cars that could be considered to be a bit "jewellery" i.e. Mini Cooper, Pug 206CC, new Tigra in a bright colour and the car has a private plate, especially a private plate that refers to being sexy or something like that e.g. K155 MEE or 69 XXX then the woman driving it will be middle-aged and/or fat and definately unattractive.
Am I right?
If you see one of those cars that could be considered to be a bit "jewellery" i.e. Mini Cooper, Pug 206CC, new Tigra in a bright colour and the car has a private plate, especially a private plate that refers to being sexy or something like that e.g. K155 MEE or 69 XXX then the woman driving it will be middle-aged and/or fat and definately unattractive.
Am I right?
23 February 2008, 06:58 PM
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My theory is this:
If you see one of those cars that could be considered to be a bit "jewellery" i.e. Mini Cooper, Pug 206CC, new Tigra in a bright colour and the car has a private plate, especially a private plate that refers to being sexy or something like that e.g. K155 MEE or 69 XXX then the woman driving it will be middle-aged and/or fat and definately unattractive.
Am I right?
If you see one of those cars that could be considered to be a bit "jewellery" i.e. Mini Cooper, Pug 206CC, new Tigra in a bright colour and the car has a private plate, especially a private plate that refers to being sexy or something like that e.g. K155 MEE or 69 XXX then the woman driving it will be middle-aged and/or fat and definately unattractive.
Am I right?
However, does that stop you from checking to make sure?
23 February 2008, 09:18 PM
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My theory is this:
If you see one of those cars that could be considered to be a bit "jewellery" i.e. Mini Cooper, Pug 206CC, new Tigra in a bright colour and the car has a private plate, especially a private plate that refers to being sexy or something like that e.g. K155 MEE or 69 XXX then the woman driving it will be middle-aged and/or fat and definately unattractive.
Am I right?
If you see one of those cars that could be considered to be a bit "jewellery" i.e. Mini Cooper, Pug 206CC, new Tigra in a bright colour and the car has a private plate, especially a private plate that refers to being sexy or something like that e.g. K155 MEE or 69 XXX then the woman driving it will be middle-aged and/or fat and definately unattractive.
Am I right?
Also any cars that have Playboy logos plastered all over them. too. Usually munters.
Last edited by mickywrx; 23 February 2008 at 09:20 PM. Reason: spollimg
24 February 2008, 12:02 PM
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I feel quite hurt that you describe my Mini Cooper as being a bit "jewellery". Its a really good little car-hangs on round corners like a leech, and is very fast on a decent trip. And I don't look like that either.
Les
Les
24 February 2008, 12:20 PM
#13
I think mostly your right.
Something odd I noticed in Athens - Smart car drivers are either men, or amazingly fit girls. Which obviously made checking out every Smart car you saw rather dodgy.
Something odd I noticed in Athens - Smart car drivers are either men, or amazingly fit girls. Which obviously made checking out every Smart car you saw rather dodgy.
24 February 2008, 12:22 PM
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24 February 2008, 01:01 PM
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I think the criteria for owning a "jewellery car" is that you must have orange skin (from too much fake tan or living in a solarium).
Completely unnatural hair colour (i.e bright blonde)
Tramp stamps
And reeks of some sort of vile perfume that's so potent that it could cover the smell of an overflowing septic tank.
I'm sure I could add more
As for Mini-Coopers. Its shame that such a fab car is ruined by what seems to be a majority of feejits that buy them.
Why do they drive them in heavy traffic like they are the size of an original mini or a smart? Its not a small car - its over 2foot longer and over 1.5 foot wider!....so squeezing/forcing into moped-sized spaces generally makes other motorists inclined to intentionally ram the stupid prats.
Completely unnatural hair colour (i.e bright blonde)
Tramp stamps
And reeks of some sort of vile perfume that's so potent that it could cover the smell of an overflowing septic tank.
I'm sure I could add more
As for Mini-Coopers. Its shame that such a fab car is ruined by what seems to be a majority of feejits that buy them.
Why do they drive them in heavy traffic like they are the size of an original mini or a smart? Its not a small car - its over 2foot longer and over 1.5 foot wider!....so squeezing/forcing into moped-sized spaces generally makes other motorists inclined to intentionally ram the stupid prats.
24 February 2008, 04:20 PM
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...who always seem to drive 2ft away from the curb on narrow roads 
( Not implying anything, but it seems alot of over-esitmate the width of their Saab
)
( Not implying anything, but it seems alot of over-esitmate the width of their Saab
)
24 February 2008, 10:35 PM
#22
Standard, mk4/5 Escorts are always driven by dowdy and harrassed looking middle aged women.
Pajero, Shaven headed fat blokes with jewellry.
Mini's, young girls, old birds and ****** haired young lads.
Pajero, Shaven headed fat blokes with jewellry.
Mini's, young girls, old birds and ****** haired young lads.
****** haired ... love it .
25 February 2008, 08:21 AM
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We can add another few here :
MX5 / MGF etc... middle aged womans mid life crisis car - thinks having a 'sports car' will make them regain their looks. Normally bought by husband as a 40th birthday present in return for a BJ.
BMW Z3/4 - see above, but husband has slightly more money.
Any old MG - 50 year old bloke, losing hair, permenantly has oil under their fingernails and can rebuild the engine at the side of the road using just items found in a hedge.
Big 4x4's - 30 year old mum - husband earns a few quid. Only ever used for the school run and going to the supermarket. Drivers have NO idea how wide their car is, so always drive halfway over into the next lane. Also think that parking restrictions dont apply to any 4x4 that cost over £30K.
New Mini / Beetle / convertable 206 - always driven by young female school teachers - check your local school carpark, bet you see at least one there.
Any French car - 95% driven by really bad drivers. Lets face it, if you knew anything about cars, why would you buy a french one ?
Porsche Boxter - middle aged men or young hairdresser looking lads - cant afford a 'proper' Porsche.
1.0 Corsa - 17 year old lads or driving instructors. Only reason you would EVER own a 1.0 Corsa is because its all you can get insured for.
MX5 / MGF etc... middle aged womans mid life crisis car - thinks having a 'sports car' will make them regain their looks. Normally bought by husband as a 40th birthday present in return for a BJ.
BMW Z3/4 - see above, but husband has slightly more money.
Any old MG - 50 year old bloke, losing hair, permenantly has oil under their fingernails and can rebuild the engine at the side of the road using just items found in a hedge.
Big 4x4's - 30 year old mum - husband earns a few quid. Only ever used for the school run and going to the supermarket. Drivers have NO idea how wide their car is, so always drive halfway over into the next lane. Also think that parking restrictions dont apply to any 4x4 that cost over £30K.
New Mini / Beetle / convertable 206 - always driven by young female school teachers - check your local school carpark, bet you see at least one there.
Any French car - 95% driven by really bad drivers. Lets face it, if you knew anything about cars, why would you buy a french one ?
Porsche Boxter - middle aged men or young hairdresser looking lads - cant afford a 'proper' Porsche.
1.0 Corsa - 17 year old lads or driving instructors. Only reason you would EVER own a 1.0 Corsa is because its all you can get insured for.
25 February 2008, 08:27 AM
#25
Really funny thread inOz there are also generalisations
The Statesman is a huge old dinosaur of a car usually driven by an Abbo and have his entire family with him .The springs will have gone and it will be sitting really low .Never been washed - like its occupants.
The other favourite is the UTE - Will always have a cement mixer in the back and a grotty old dog yapping its ******* head off at any car that approaches.The driver will be pissed, covered in dust with a *** hanging out of his gob - oh yeah he will be hogging the outside lane.
Porsche are exclusively driven here by solicitors and nicked on a friday night by Abbos
The odd UK veteran cars like Jag and Astons retired Poms not wishing to sever their link with Mother England
Can always recognise the Jocks - No matter what they drive it will have the Scottish Flag plastered all over it.
Young Asians - not the Indian type , more your slopes , they drive Rex's , Evo's or GTR's . Spend bundles on bolt on goodies
See the odd roller occasionally - either driven by an eccentric old Pom as desribed above or an ex criminal like Alan Bond
The Statesman is a huge old dinosaur of a car usually driven by an Abbo and have his entire family with him .The springs will have gone and it will be sitting really low .Never been washed - like its occupants.
The other favourite is the UTE - Will always have a cement mixer in the back and a grotty old dog yapping its ******* head off at any car that approaches.The driver will be pissed, covered in dust with a *** hanging out of his gob - oh yeah he will be hogging the outside lane.
Porsche are exclusively driven here by solicitors and nicked on a friday night by Abbos
The odd UK veteran cars like Jag and Astons retired Poms not wishing to sever their link with Mother England
Can always recognise the Jocks - No matter what they drive it will have the Scottish Flag plastered all over it.
Young Asians - not the Indian type , more your slopes , they drive Rex's , Evo's or GTR's . Spend bundles on bolt on goodies
See the odd roller occasionally - either driven by an eccentric old Pom as desribed above or an ex criminal like Alan Bond
25 February 2008, 08:34 AM
#26
Really funny thread inOz there are also generalisations
The Statesman is a huge old dinosaur of a car usually driven by an Abbo and have his entire family with him .The springs will have gone and it will be sitting really low .Never been washed - like its occupants.
The other favourite is the UTE - Will always have a cement mixer in the back and a grotty old dog yapping its ******* head off at any car that approaches.The driver will be pissed, covered in dust with a *** hanging out of his gob - oh yeah he will be hogging the outside lane.
Porsche are exclusively driven here by solicitors and nicked on a friday night by Abbos
The odd UK veteran cars like Jag and Astons retired Poms not wishing to sever their link with Mother England
Can always recognise the Jocks - No matter what they drive it will have the Scottish Flag plastered all over it.
Young Asians - not the Indian type , more your slopes , they drive Rex's , Evo's or GTR's . Spend bundles on bolt on goodies
See the odd roller occasionally - either driven by an eccentric old Pom as desribed above or an ex criminal like Alan Bond
The Statesman is a huge old dinosaur of a car usually driven by an Abbo and have his entire family with him .The springs will have gone and it will be sitting really low .Never been washed - like its occupants.
The other favourite is the UTE - Will always have a cement mixer in the back and a grotty old dog yapping its ******* head off at any car that approaches.The driver will be pissed, covered in dust with a *** hanging out of his gob - oh yeah he will be hogging the outside lane.
Porsche are exclusively driven here by solicitors and nicked on a friday night by Abbos
The odd UK veteran cars like Jag and Astons retired Poms not wishing to sever their link with Mother England
Can always recognise the Jocks - No matter what they drive it will have the Scottish Flag plastered all over it.
Young Asians - not the Indian type , more your slopes , they drive Rex's , Evo's or GTR's . Spend bundles on bolt on goodies
See the odd roller occasionally - either driven by an eccentric old Pom as desribed above or an ex criminal like Alan Bond
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