Q: How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A: They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: What should you give a woman who has everything?
A: A man to show her how to work it.

Q: How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.

Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a *****?
A: A ***** sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

Q: Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
A: 'cus it doesn't need cleaning yet

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs

Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Cos no man would pull those faces on purpose.

Q: Why did God create woman?
A: To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Q: How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
A: Phone her.

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: Because they think men care.

Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is sha66ing her.