Friday Joke
02 November 2007, 12:37 PM
#1
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Friday Joke
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
death.
hey are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet."
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and
there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture ...
there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...
every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!"
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert don't
forget."
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that ....Luis races toward the tree.
He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when
all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks.
It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he
manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you was right...ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees..........
Ees...
Ees.........
Ees....
Eees a Ham bush!
death.
hey are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet."
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and
there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture ...
there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...
every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!"
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert don't
forget."
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that ....Luis races toward the tree.
He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when
all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks.
It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he
manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you was right...ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees..........
Ees...
Ees.........
Ees....
Eees a Ham bush!
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02 November 2007, 03:33 PM
#12
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I thought it was very good myself, dont post many jokes on here for fear of Sial etc but thought this one was worthy 
02 November 2007, 05:25 PM
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A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, ' Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'
02 November 2007, 05:32 PM
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An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals.
Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."
A ray of light from the sky above shines down and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."
Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."
A ray of light from the sky above shines down and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."
02 November 2007, 07:45 PM
#24
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Nor did I 
Good joke though
See here but check the date!!
https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...ican-joke.html
Good joke thoughSee here but check the date!!
https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...ican-joke.html
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