Mexican joke
02 November 2006, 10:00 PM
#1
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Mexican joke
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting the inevitable, when all
of a
sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet"
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand
dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried
bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of
cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. "Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't
forget"
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees
no
meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that ...Luis Races towards the tree. he gets to within 5
metres,
Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens
up,
and Luis is cut down in his tracks.
It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he
manages
to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis Luis mi amigo...what ees it?
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Eees a Ham Bush.
death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting the inevitable, when all
of a
sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet"
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand
dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried
bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of
cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. "Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't
forget"
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees
no
meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that ...Luis Races towards the tree. he gets to within 5
metres,
Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens
up,
and Luis is cut down in his tracks.
It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he
manages
to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis Luis mi amigo...what ees it?
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Eees a Ham Bush.
04 November 2006, 09:08 AM
#7
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And in the same vein..........
===============
In the distant and dank Transylvanian mountains was a vampire bat cave.
One night, Vein - the chief Vampire, flapped back in with his lips and teeth dripping fresh blood.
This got all the other Vamps excited and they pestered Vein to tell him where he had been for such a feast.
In the end he gave in and explained to them:
"OK boys - do you see those far away mountains?"
"Yes, yes" they squealed
"And to the left an old turreted castle?"
"Yes, yes" they squawked in glee
"And that old tree in the shadows in front"
"Yes, yes, yes" they screamed as one
"Well good," said Vein, "'cos I fecking didn't"
===============
In the distant and dank Transylvanian mountains was a vampire bat cave.
One night, Vein - the chief Vampire, flapped back in with his lips and teeth dripping fresh blood.
This got all the other Vamps excited and they pestered Vein to tell him where he had been for such a feast.
In the end he gave in and explained to them:
"OK boys - do you see those far away mountains?"
"Yes, yes" they squealed
"And to the left an old turreted castle?"
"Yes, yes" they squawked in glee
"And that old tree in the shadows in front"
"Yes, yes, yes" they screamed as one
"Well good," said Vein, "'cos I fecking didn't"
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