Chinese Wedding Night
02 August 2007, 02:06 PM
#1
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Chinese Wedding Night
Chinese Wedding Night
>
> A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be
> told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she
> cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next
> to her and tries to be reassuring.
>
> 'My darring' he says, 'I know dis yoo firss time and you
> berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting -
> juss ask...Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?' he says, trying to sound
> experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
> A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and
> eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, 'I
> wan try someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69.'
>
> More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in
> a puzzled tone he queries...
>
> 'Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori'?
>
> A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be
> told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she
> cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next
> to her and tries to be reassuring.
>
> 'My darring' he says, 'I know dis yoo firss time and you
> berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting -
> juss ask...Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?' he says, trying to sound
> experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
> A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and
> eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, 'I
> wan try someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69.'
>
> More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in
> a puzzled tone he queries...
>
> 'Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori'?
02 August 2007, 02:41 PM
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02 August 2007, 02:57 PM
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I remember it well, September 1994 walking along the beach at midnight, the moon lighting the sand, the waves gently carressing the beach and only the sound of an angry peacock in the distance disturbing the utopia.
All of a sudden we were approached by a scruffy man, tramplike clothing, a hunched back, the unshaven plebion dropped his brown paper bag in front of us.
I leant down to pick it up and realised inside was a bottle of cheap blended supermarket branded whisky.
On offering him the bottle back, he thanked me and wished me more luck in my life than he had had in his.
I asked why things had got to the state they were and he told me he had given up everything to be a stand up comic.
He told me he had written a joke about a chinese wedding and told it at a famous comedy club in Liverpool...
This was that joke
and it's still ruining lives 13 years later with its loathing of comedy value and funniness
All of a sudden we were approached by a scruffy man, tramplike clothing, a hunched back, the unshaven plebion dropped his brown paper bag in front of us.
I leant down to pick it up and realised inside was a bottle of cheap blended supermarket branded whisky.
On offering him the bottle back, he thanked me and wished me more luck in my life than he had had in his.
I asked why things had got to the state they were and he told me he had given up everything to be a stand up comic.
He told me he had written a joke about a chinese wedding and told it at a famous comedy club in Liverpool...
This was that joke
and it's still ruining lives 13 years later with its loathing of comedy value and funniness
02 August 2007, 05:17 PM
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I remember it well, September 1994 walking along the beach at midnight, the moon lighting the sand, the waves gently carressing the beach and only the sound of an angry peacock in the distance disturbing the utopia.
All of a sudden we were approached by a scruffy man, tramplike clothing, a hunched back, the unshaven plebion dropped his brown paper bag in front of us.
I leant down to pick it up and realised inside was a bottle of cheap blended supermarket branded whisky.
On offering him the bottle back, he thanked me and wished me more luck in my life than he had had in his.
I asked why things had got to the state they were and he told me he had given up everything to be a stand up comic.
He told me he had written a joke about a chinese wedding and told it at a famous comedy club in Liverpool...
This was that joke and it's still ruining lives 13 years later with its loathing of comedy value and funniness
All of a sudden we were approached by a scruffy man, tramplike clothing, a hunched back, the unshaven plebion dropped his brown paper bag in front of us.
I leant down to pick it up and realised inside was a bottle of cheap blended supermarket branded whisky.
On offering him the bottle back, he thanked me and wished me more luck in my life than he had had in his.
I asked why things had got to the state they were and he told me he had given up everything to be a stand up comic.
He told me he had written a joke about a chinese wedding and told it at a famous comedy club in Liverpool...
This was that joke
and it's still ruining lives 13 years later with its loathing of comedy value and funniness Now thats funny
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02 August 2007, 09:34 PM
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Paddy goes for a job interview and after several tests of the physical type, the guy doing the interview says ok paddy you've almost got the job. All i need you to do is put a word into a sentance and your home dry, and the word is contageous.......well paddy thinks and after a short while retorts with, right then i'm ready. I told my mate mick to dig a small hole and be quick about it, but do you know what, he never had it done and it took the c*ntages!
03 August 2007, 12:54 AM
#11
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Chinese Wedding Night
>
> A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be
> told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she
> cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next
> to her and tries to be reassuring.
>
> 'My darring' he says, 'I know dis yoo firss time and you
> berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting -
> juss ask...Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?' he says, trying to sound
> experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
> A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and
> eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, 'I
> wan try someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69.'
>
> More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in
> a puzzled tone he queries...
>
> 'Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori'?
>
> A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be
> told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she
> cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next
> to her and tries to be reassuring.
>
> 'My darring' he says, 'I know dis yoo firss time and you
> berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting -
> juss ask...Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?' he says, trying to sound
> experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
> A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and
> eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, 'I
> wan try someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69.'
>
> More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in
> a puzzled tone he queries...
>
> 'Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori'?
a chinese couple gets married and talks in broken english??? their chinese must be right sh!te
03 August 2007, 06:47 PM
#19
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u lucky sod, u get tae marry chinese lady, well done
u know when i woz young i always wanted tae marry either a japanese lassie or chinese or malaysian lassie, chechen, palestinian, bosnian etc etc , it wasnt tae be
chinese lassies, God made them beautiful, nice and petite, nice jet black silky hair and just beautiful
04 August 2007, 12:56 AM
#21
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04 August 2007, 02:05 AM
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