Excuses for not going to work
14 June 2007, 05:33 AM
#2
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my boss lets me have days off without any hesitation - i know too many of his little secrets....
and my missus has been best girlfriends with his missus since the age of 5
and my missus has been best girlfriends with his missus since the age of 5
14 June 2007, 06:36 AM
#4
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bttt
1, there is a big dog at my gate and i carnt get out of the HOUSE
2, there has been a power cut i carnt find my clothes
3 , i carnt be arsed today ,im not coming in .
2, there has been a power cut i carnt find my clothes
3 , i carnt be arsed today ,im not coming in .
14 June 2007, 07:47 AM
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Trending Topics
14 June 2007, 09:27 AM
#9
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dear boss
i cant come into work today, as when i arrived at my desk 10 mins late, a polish bloke was already sitting in it, i now realise i am a lazy, skanky, uk worker and will claim the job seekers allowance instead.
sounds about right
i cant come into work today, as when i arrived at my desk 10 mins late, a polish bloke was already sitting in it, i now realise i am a lazy, skanky, uk worker and will claim the job seekers allowance instead.
sounds about right
14 June 2007, 09:40 AM
#10
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From some random website:
1) Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2) A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3) Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4) Employee called from his cell phone, said he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and no one was around to let him out.
5) Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6) Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7) One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8) Employee's mother was in jail.
9) A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10) Employee had bad hiccups.
11) Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12) Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13) Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14) Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15) Employee was sad.
Steve
1) Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2) A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3) Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4) Employee called from his cell phone, said he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and no one was around to let him out.
5) Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6) Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7) One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8) Employee's mother was in jail.
9) A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10) Employee had bad hiccups.
11) Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12) Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13) Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14) Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15) Employee was sad.
Steve
14 June 2007, 09:40 AM
#11
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Dear Boss,.
Won't be into work today: Ex-GF yanked one of me knackers off!!!
https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...s-swallow.html
PS I'll give you her number if you like!!!
Won't be into work today: Ex-GF yanked one of me knackers off!!!
https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...s-swallow.html
PS I'll give you her number if you like!!!
14 June 2007, 01:50 PM
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The best I ever heard was on Chris Tarrant's breakfast show years ago:
"I can't come in today as when I woke up I had an amazing 'morning glory' and it seemed such a shame to waste it."
"I can't come in today as when I woke up I had an amazing 'morning glory' and it seemed such a shame to waste it."
14 June 2007, 01:59 PM
#17
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I won't be in today because the voices in my head have told me to stay at home and clean my guns...
(I did know someone once who rang in and told his boss that he wouldn't be in today because he'd pulled a muscle getting out of bed! )
(I did know someone once who rang in and told his boss that he wouldn't be in today because he'd pulled a muscle getting out of bed! )
14 June 2007, 02:18 PM
#19
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Ive done this before, hurt my back when I got up, must have slept funny on it
14 June 2007, 05:38 PM
#21
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this reminds me i had somebody ring up with this little gem
"i can come in today because the bus drivers are on strike"
this lad lives 15 mins bike ride away (yes he used to ride his bike in the summer)
he no longer works here, lazy git
"i can come in today because the bus drivers are on strike"
this lad lives 15 mins bike ride away (yes he used to ride his bike in the summer)
he no longer works here, lazy git
14 June 2007, 10:02 PM
#24
The most useless DBA at my last place didnt come in after doing a call in the middle of the night, f*cking up a database, not telling anyone and leaving it for us to find (and sort)in the morning.
He said he didnt come in as he 'Wouldnt be at my best', the peel of laughter in the meeting was hard to disguise.
He said he didnt come in as he 'Wouldnt be at my best', the peel of laughter in the meeting was hard to disguise.
14 June 2007, 11:17 PM
#25
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Not an excuse but.... if you need to ring in lie on your back on your bed with your head hanging down the side. When you talk you sound well dodgey and ill !!!!! 
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