If you are unmarried and have children......
If you are unmarried and have children......
12 February 2007, 01:35 PM
#3
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Depends if the Mother Knows who the Father is 
I guess if your plannning on marrige at some point it makes sense to use the fathers name instead of changing it later.
Legally I think you can use either.
I guess if your plannning on marrige at some point it makes sense to use the fathers name instead of changing it later.
Legally I think you can use either.
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12 February 2007, 01:52 PM
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12 February 2007, 02:01 PM
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On a more emotional level I have found it quite hard to bond with my son, he is with my wife all day and during the week I hardly see him because of work. Sometimes you feel pretty left out as a father when he constantly runs to Mummy all the time. The name thing is pretty important to me because it re-inforces that he is my son too.
As a father how would you feel watching your son grow up and play football or gain academic achievement with is mothers name?
12 February 2007, 02:18 PM
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12 February 2007, 02:19 PM
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I guess if you are some kind of new-age impotent male that is under the whip, then you may be happy to have your bloodlines and name ending with yourself while the female gets the power.
On a more emotional level I have found it quite hard to bond with my son, he is with my wife all day and during the week I hardly see him because of work. Sometimes you feel pretty left out as a father when he constantly runs to Mummy all the time. The name thing is pretty important to me because it re-inforces that he is my son too.
As a father how would you feel watching your son grow up and play football or gain academic achievement with is mothers name?
On a more emotional level I have found it quite hard to bond with my son, he is with my wife all day and during the week I hardly see him because of work. Sometimes you feel pretty left out as a father when he constantly runs to Mummy all the time. The name thing is pretty important to me because it re-inforces that he is my son too.
As a father how would you feel watching your son grow up and play football or gain academic achievement with is mothers name?
A name means absolutely nothing. Either of my sons could play for England or become world famous academics with the name "Moon Unit Alpha" and it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference - They would still be my sons. Whether the world knows they are my kids or not doesn't bother me at all - The people that need to know they are mine already do.
You are a father through your actions - not by sharing the same surname.
12 February 2007, 02:33 PM
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12 February 2007, 02:46 PM
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Well it's not a competition, it's a fact. Many infants/toddlers are closer to the mothers, they are breastfed for their first year or so, spend all day with them and mostly other mothers so they are a lot more used to females. An hour a day if you are lucky can't compete with that.
12 February 2007, 04:34 PM
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Interesting one that.
A couple across the road from us are married, but she kept her maiden name for professional reasons. Their eldest daughter (21) uses her father's surname, while the youngest daughter (18) prefers to go double barrelled
I don't have any spawn of my own, which is nice
, and MrsD's kids both have their late father's surname, it doesn't stop me treating them as my own though, and it doesn't stop them treating me like an ATM, as any kid does with either parent
A couple across the road from us are married, but she kept her maiden name for professional reasons. Their eldest daughter (21) uses her father's surname, while the youngest daughter (18) prefers to go double barrelled
I don't have any spawn of my own, which is nice
, and MrsD's kids both have their late father's surname, it doesn't stop me treating them as my own though, and it doesn't stop them treating me like an ATM, as any kid does with either parent
12 February 2007, 04:40 PM
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We've got a girl on the way and we're not married. This came up early on and was decided that it would take my name (father) as we would at some future point get married.
As mentioned above, the kid should be named after the mother if the father is absent, dead, a complete w@nker or as kiwi so puts it a "new-age impotent male that is under the whip".
As mentioned above, the kid should be named after the mother if the father is absent, dead, a complete w@nker or as kiwi so puts it a "new-age impotent male that is under the whip".
12 February 2007, 04:46 PM
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Interesting when after plans to marry things do go pete tong, and the mother eventually gets with another man. Even if he is not a waster, things go wrong.
Anyway, when the 3 of you go on holiday, no one has the same name.....the passport people love that.
Anyway, when the 3 of you go on holiday, no one has the same name.....the passport people love that.
12 February 2007, 05:19 PM
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We're not married, and have two sprogs. Both have my name (Father's that is). Intend to get married at some time (she's Australian) but it nearly all went Pete Tong when we went back to Australia with number 1 child (before number 2 was born), and we came back separately as I had to work.
She came through customs, with both her and the kid on an Australian passport (unmarried thus child took mothers nationality, as this was back in 2005), and because the child had my name, but Mum's passport was in her own name, all sorts of hassle to get back in (how do we know child is yours etc etc?)...
Then, number 2 came along last October, and we then found out via another forum that the laws changed last July and because the kid is born to a English dad, he is eligible for UK passport, which he now has. And because his Mum is Australian, he is eligible for an Australian passport - which he now has. Both in my name but it does make it easier to travel....
Interesting point for those of you, unmarried, with 'foreign' partners, or partners with non UK passports. The laws have changed so you can now apply and get a UK passport for your nipper. Makes a world of difference...
Andy
She came through customs, with both her and the kid on an Australian passport (unmarried thus child took mothers nationality, as this was back in 2005), and because the child had my name, but Mum's passport was in her own name, all sorts of hassle to get back in (how do we know child is yours etc etc?)...
Then, number 2 came along last October, and we then found out via another forum that the laws changed last July and because the kid is born to a English dad, he is eligible for UK passport, which he now has. And because his Mum is Australian, he is eligible for an Australian passport - which he now has. Both in my name but it does make it easier to travel....
Interesting point for those of you, unmarried, with 'foreign' partners, or partners with non UK passports. The laws have changed so you can now apply and get a UK passport for your nipper. Makes a world of difference...
Andy
12 February 2007, 05:25 PM
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12 February 2007, 05:48 PM
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How about settling and having one of your Scoobynet names? Assume the sprog is called baby. How about
Baby 2Zero or Baby Weapon??
Just giving you options
Darren
Baby 2Zero or Baby Weapon??
Just giving you options
Darren
12 February 2007, 08:19 PM
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12 February 2007, 10:11 PM
#26
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Kiwi, this name milarky is dying out. A lot of women are not taking the Chaps name when they get married, they are keeping their own, and adding to it. As I said, I did this, hence my kids have both our surnames
13 February 2007, 08:41 AM
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I'm afraid I'm with Kiwi on this one. My name or the highway
Quote of the thread
new-age impotent male that is under the whip
13 February 2007, 09:28 AM
#29
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daughters take their mother's names, only sons take the father'sAnd for certain members of both our and America's population the notion is complete bollox anyway, because if you trace their lineage back a couple of hundred years you'll find their forebears were given the names of their owners
13 February 2007, 09:30 AM
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To be fair, I think he was just saying that there are more important things to worry about as a parent than whether your kids have your surname.