speye91

SOFTWARE PROBLEM

Some years ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which
I had used for years without any problems. However, I soon discovered
that
there are conflicts between these two products and the only fix was to
try
and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, I soon discovered that Girlfriend 1.0 was also
incompatible with several of my favourite applications - LadsNightOut
2.1 Football 4.5 and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend
proved no
better.

In desperation, I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had a
few
bugs and I ended up getting infected with a virus. I also tried to run
Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 1.2 at the same time, only to discover
that
when these systems detected one another they damaged my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, and the following year upgraded
again to Wife 1.0 which I've now been stuck with for a few years. While
Wife 1.0 has always used up lots of resources, it does come with some
useful extras such as FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2006.

Things went well to start with, but then Wife 1.0 started to become
unstable and the running costs rose. I also found that any mistakes were
automatically stored in memory and could not be deleted. They would then
resurface months later by which time I'd forgotten all about them. Wife
1.0 can also, without warning, launch the Turbostrop3 and Multi-Whinge
windows. These have no help files that I can see so it's left to me to
guess what the problem is. Wife 1.0 also needs regular updating, such as
running ShoeShopBrowser for new attachements and Hairstyle Express which
needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches
itself to my Saab93 Hard Drive it always crashes.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2006, but I'm advised
that
there could be problems. A friend of mine came unstuck when his version
of
Wife 1.0 detected the presence of Mistress 2006 and deleted all of his
money before uninstalling itself.

Advice anybody? In particular, can anybody tell me how to switch off the
MotherinLaw pop up?

RESPONSE

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 1.0. It is impossible to
un-install, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You
cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow
this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support
.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear 0.1" to
alleviate
software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high
maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean
and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful
how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch
the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system. It may even crash your
system.

Best of luck

Tech Support

MattW

Haven't seen that this year

Dracoro

I've got a newer joke than that. It goes like this

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who
How'd you know my name

Oh how I laughed