Wizard's Sleeves
28 November 2006, 10:35 AM
#1
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Wizard's Sleeves
Following on from the thread about the prostitute caught on the fence, I have a serious question.
Why is it, when more and more people are going to gyms to tone their bodies, that the assertion is still made that the more a woman uses certain of her muscles, the less toned they become
Based on this hypothesis, I've come to the conclusion that if I want to develop that six pack I'm better off sitting on my **** watching the telly, coz using my body will wear it out
Here's to plenty of beer in the fridge, and a complete turnaround of fortune for the next Test, Cheers
Why is it, when more and more people are going to gyms to tone their bodies, that the assertion is still made that the more a woman uses certain of her muscles, the less toned they become
Based on this hypothesis, I've come to the conclusion that if I want to develop that six pack I'm better off sitting on my **** watching the telly, coz using my body will wear it out
Here's to plenty of beer in the fridge, and a complete turnaround of fortune for the next Test, Cheers
28 November 2006, 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by CrisPDuk
Following on from the thread about the prostitute caught on the fence, I have a serious question.
Why is it, when more and more people are going to gyms to tone their bodies, that the assertion is still made that the more a woman uses certain of her muscles, the less toned they become
Based on this hypothesis, I've come to the conclusion that if I want to develop that six pack I'm better off sitting on my **** watching the telly, coz using my body will wear it out
Here's to plenty of beer in the fridge, and a complete turnaround of fortune for the next Test, Cheers
Why is it, when more and more people are going to gyms to tone their bodies, that the assertion is still made that the more a woman uses certain of her muscles, the less toned they become
Based on this hypothesis, I've come to the conclusion that if I want to develop that six pack I'm better off sitting on my **** watching the telly, coz using my body will wear it out
Here's to plenty of beer in the fridge, and a complete turnaround of fortune for the next Test, Cheers
................except for the bit about the cricket, I mean, who gives a sh..........
28 November 2006, 10:39 AM
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Yes in the early days "tighter than a jews pocket" was the phrase we used to use.... And when I was 17 "Did you manage to fit a full kit kat" was a question always asked 
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
28 November 2006, 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Abdabz
Yes in the early days "tighter than a jews pocket" was the phrase we used to use.... And when I was 17 "Did you manage to fit a full kit kat" was a question always asked
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
Could have been worse, they might have referred to a Toblerone!!!
ns04
28 November 2006, 12:38 PM
#7
Perhaps it is as other areas do not have the associated friction, for example when working a bicep there is no friction other than in the elbow joint and some within the muscle fibres however in the other case its two surfaces being rubbed together and of course in line with the type of job speed is of the essence which perhaps like revving an engine from cold does not allow adequte lubricant to circlulate, Castrol Magnatec can help as apparently it clings to parts when cold in readiness.
Does beg the question that if this is a problem for females who own half of the surface area subjected to friction then there must be an equivalent problem for the male population though that is kept quiet, I suspect that there may be men out there that have 'Worn it down to the spring' but it must be kept very quiet.
I did read that the tradional method to recondition a 'Wizards Sleeve' for busy ladies in New York was to insert a full ham and pull out the bone.
I do suspect in reality that this situation is not caused by activity at all but rather due to genetics, subjective opinion of a partner who may not be hitting the sides due to his inadequacy or childbirth, men can simulate this partially by eating a full box of All Bran, Bottle of Poppers and a 12 egg Omlette, then see if they arent quite as tight as they once were post morning sit down the next day.
Does beg the question that if this is a problem for females who own half of the surface area subjected to friction then there must be an equivalent problem for the male population though that is kept quiet, I suspect that there may be men out there that have 'Worn it down to the spring' but it must be kept very quiet.
I did read that the tradional method to recondition a 'Wizards Sleeve' for busy ladies in New York was to insert a full ham and pull out the bone.
I do suspect in reality that this situation is not caused by activity at all but rather due to genetics, subjective opinion of a partner who may not be hitting the sides due to his inadequacy or childbirth, men can simulate this partially by eating a full box of All Bran, Bottle of Poppers and a 12 egg Omlette, then see if they arent quite as tight as they once were post morning sit down the next day.
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28 November 2006, 01:00 PM
#8
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Originally Posted by J4CKO
I did read that the tradional method to recondition a 'Wizards Sleeve' for busy ladies in New York was to insert a full ham and pull out the bone.
men can simulate this partially by eating a full box of All Bran, Bottle of Poppers and a 12 egg Omlette, then see if they arent quite as tight as they once were post morning sit down the next day.
men can simulate this partially by eating a full box of All Bran, Bottle of Poppers and a 12 egg Omlette, then see if they arent quite as tight as they once were post morning sit down the next day.
Well the brand new laptop was a waste of ******* money wasn't it
There's two mouthfuls of beer all over it now
Cheers Jacko, you tw@t
28 November 2006, 02:32 PM
#10
It's purely genetics I believe, maybe with the odd environmental factor thrown in. Out of the thousands of women I have slept with, there is no predictability. Virgins can have one like a clowns pocket, while you can find prostitutes with 3 kids that take you 1/2 an hour and a tub of KY to get inside.
28 November 2006, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by KiwiGTI
It's purely genetics I believe, maybe with the odd environmental factor thrown in. Out of the thousands of women I have slept with, there is no predictability. Virgins can have one like a clowns pocket, while you can find prostitutes with 3 kids that take you 1/2 an hour and a tub of KY to get inside.
Is your surname Ed? Do you have a friend called Wilburrrr?
28 November 2006, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Abdabz
Yes in the early days "tighter than a jews pocket" was the phrase we used to use.... And when I was 17 "Did you manage to fit a full kit kat" was a question always asked
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
28 November 2006, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Nat21
Girl round my way is known as "Kit Kat Clare".
Ns04
Anyone who's seen the episode of the Simpsons featuring "Krusty's Kristmas Klassics" will get the above!
28 November 2006, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Abdabz
Yes in the early days "tighter than a jews pocket" was the phrase we used to use.... And when I was 17 "Did you manage to fit a full kit kat" was a question always asked
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
Filthy Abdabz, Dirty Abdabz
A prostitute got her own back one night, and saw exactly how far an anus will stretch before breaking.
28 November 2006, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Lydia72
Pelvic Floor exercises
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........I started seeing a girl from Didcot once.
She had ten sons. All called Wayne. I said "Blimey, doesn't that get confusing?", she said, "no, when it is time for dinner I shout 'WAYNE, YOUR DINNER'S READY!' and they all come in".
"What do you do if you want to call them in, individually? She says "That's easy, I shout their surname".....
Still like an 18 year old Virgin she was
28 November 2006, 11:07 PM
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Originally Posted by DJ Vinyl Ritchie
They really work you know.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........I started seeing a girl from Didcot once.
She had ten sons. All called Wayne. I said "Blimey, doesn't that get confusing?", she said, "no, when it is time for dinner I shout 'WAYNE, YOUR DINNER'S READY!' and they all come in".
"What do you do if you want to call them in, individually? She says "That's easy, I shout their surname".....
Still like an 18 year old Virgin she was
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........I started seeing a girl from Didcot once.
She had ten sons. All called Wayne. I said "Blimey, doesn't that get confusing?", she said, "no, when it is time for dinner I shout 'WAYNE, YOUR DINNER'S READY!' and they all come in".
"What do you do if you want to call them in, individually? She says "That's easy, I shout their surname".....
Still like an 18 year old Virgin she was
Bollox!!!!
28 November 2006, 11:22 PM
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Originally Posted by New_scooby_04
An 18 year old virgin in Didcot??????
Bollox!!!!
Bollox!!!!
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........ when your hung like a thoroughbred Stallion as I, they all feel like 18 yr old virgins
29 November 2006, 02:25 AM
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Originally Posted by DJ Vinyl Ritchie
AU contraire Doc, Au contraire
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........ when your hung like a thoroughbred Stallion as I, they all feel like 18 yr old virgins
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........ when your hung like a thoroughbred Stallion as I, they all feel like 18 yr old virgins
Therefore, you're welcome to any that you find, Mr Richtea
29 November 2006, 04:52 AM
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Originally Posted by CrisPCok and Chips
If a girl is 18 years old and still a virgin where I come from there's usually a reason
Therefore, you're welcome to any that you find, Mr Richtea
Therefore, you're welcome to any that you find, Mr Richtea
I see from your location Mr CrisPCok, you are from Thailand - That explains it. I've never been there, although as I've said before, I did once dry bum a Ting Tong lookalike who was from Peckham. She kept referring to me as ''Mr Dudwey,'' for some strange reason.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........ Jaffa Cakes are my favourite tea dunker
29 November 2006, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by DJ Linoleoum Richtea
I see from your location Mr CrisPCok, you are from Thailand - That explains it. I've never been there, although as I've said before, I did once dry bum a Ting Tong lookalike who was from Peckham. She kept referring to me as ''Mr Dudwey,'' for some strange reason.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........ Jaffa Cakes are my favourite tea dunker
DJ Vinyl Ritchie........ Jaffa Cakes are my favourite tea dunker
You just have to be aware that more than the odd one or two are packing a 'little extra' down below
For obvious reasons I'm not now going to tell you where I'm from
CrisPDuk - Chocolate Hobnobs are mine
29 November 2006, 09:52 AM
#28
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Interesting though that the bloke also has areas where used skin *could* resemble a likeness to the female's "bag of giblets"......
We're talking about most used joints etc....... welll check out the skin over your elbow...... excessively loose? you can hopefully see where I'm going here
We have the same sort of "issues" has the birds, just not on/in our genetalia
DAn (all IMHO, of course!)
We're talking about most used joints etc....... welll check out the skin over your elbow...... excessively loose? you can hopefully see where I'm going here
We have the same sort of "issues" has the birds, just not on/in our genetalia
DAn (all IMHO, of course!)
29 November 2006, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by ScoobyDoo555
Interesting though that the bloke also has areas where used skin *could* resemble a likeness to the female's "bag of giblets"......
We're talking about most used joints etc....... welll check out the skin over your elbow...... excessively loose? you can hopefully see where I'm going here
We have the same sort of "issues" has the birds, just not on/in our genetalia
DAn (all IMHO, of course!)
We're talking about most used joints etc....... welll check out the skin over your elbow...... excessively loose? you can hopefully see where I'm going here
We have the same sort of "issues" has the birds, just not on/in our genetalia
DAn (all IMHO, of course!)
This guy has thought long and hard about this.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.......... I was born with both sets of genetalia, you should see my party trick
29 November 2006, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by DJ Vinyl Ritchie
This guy has thought long and hard about this.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.......... I was born with both sets of genetalia, you should see my party trick
To a degree that's both deeply disturbing and mildly intriguing at the same time
CrisPDuk - Is it something along the lines of 'Go F**k Yourself'?