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Old 29 September 2006, 03:56 PM
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SwissTony
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Default Stars in their eyes

A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on
crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.

'It's very brave of you to come out here,' says Matthew. 'Please
tell the audience what happened?'

'Well' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when
we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed
outrightbut I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was
eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save
my legs.'

'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?' asks Matthew.
'No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that
myuncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances
in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine.

As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having
physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of
the year.'


A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

Kelly responds with: 'That's an unbelievable story. So tonight,
who are you going to be?'





Scroll down...





Keep going....







It's worth it honest.....













'Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'




(dont blame me, I just passed it on )
Old 29 September 2006, 04:06 PM
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You said it was worth it
Old 29 September 2006, 04:11 PM
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Old 29 September 2006, 04:15 PM
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I still laughed tho!
Old 29 September 2006, 04:15 PM
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note the disclaimer at the bottom
Old 29 September 2006, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
note the disclaimer at the bottom
- Nah, we still blame you
Old 29 September 2006, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by RMA26










I still laughed tho!
Men have such simple minds

Old 29 September 2006, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
Men have such simple minds

Or course, how do you think we please simple women
Old 29 September 2006, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
Men have such simple minds

thats him banging your head against the headboard
Old 29 September 2006, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
thats him banging your head against the headboard
LMFAO here!
Old 29 September 2006, 05:29 PM
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Newsflash, Swiss made me laugh
Old 29 September 2006, 05:35 PM
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Oh swiss you aren't a grumpy old git afterall
Old 29 September 2006, 07:34 PM
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well after todays continuing episode, I should be even grumpier...

borrowed a mate's car to get into work today (thx rob ), as my tyre was meant to have arrived today for fitting.
came back this evening and still no sign of my tyre, so have no scoob tomorrow and need to drive up to shropshire with my two little uns.

luckily mate to the rescue, so I have a car for the weekend, but fecking couriers, tyre companies etc, have really hacked me off today

but apart from that, all is well and yes I am trying not to be grumpy
Old 29 September 2006, 07:35 PM
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Originally Posted by 84of300
Newsflash, Swiss made me laugh
I do try madam
Old 29 September 2006, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
well after todays continuing episode, I should be even grumpier...

borrowed a mate's car to get into work today (thx rob ), as my tyre was meant to have arrived today for fitting.
came back this evening and still no sign of my tyre, so have no scoob tomorrow and need to drive up to shropshire with my two little uns.

luckily mate to the rescue, so I have a car for the weekend, but fecking couriers, tyre companies etc, have really hacked me off today

but apart from that, all is well and yes I am trying not to be grumpy
Please tell me you have some vodka
Old 29 September 2006, 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
Please tell me you have some vodka
thats an affirmative
just downing my first one now, kids are playing playstation, jaffa cake each , dinner on the go....the night is young
Old 29 September 2006, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
thats an affirmative
just downing my first one now, kids are playing playstation, jaffa cake each , dinner on the go....the night is young
Phew thats a relief
Old 29 September 2006, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
I do try madam
The garage sale still takes some beating
Old 29 September 2006, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
Phew thats a relief
well thx for your concern young lady

so what are you doing tonight, apart from chatting to the likes of me, I thought you would be out on the search for that scooby owning single guy
Old 29 September 2006, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by 84of300
The garage sale still takes some beating
I will be having some specials next month...will let you have a shufti first
Old 29 September 2006, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
well thx for your concern young lady

so what are you doing tonight, apart from chatting to the likes of me, I thought you would be out on the search for that scooby owning single guy
I'm in the process of making myself beautiful then I'm off to hit the Norwich pubs
Old 29 September 2006, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
I'm in the process of making myself beautiful then I'm off to hit the Norwich pubs

so hitting the town at 10:30 then ???

(sorry couldnt resist)
Old 29 September 2006, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
I will be having some specials next month...will let you have a shufti first
Well, you already said you've got nowt for a WR1 Or is this sale more interesting
Old 29 September 2006, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
so hitting the town at 10:30 then ???

(sorry couldnt resist)
Bugger, I knew you'd say that, your not far off though

I'm already trying on my 10th outfit
Old 29 September 2006, 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
Bugger, I knew you'd say that, your not far off though

I'm already trying on my 10th outfit

ah girls and their endless outfit sessions

easy way to decide..

1. are you on the pull tonight ?
2. will you be bringing back a lucky fella?

answer yes and try on at least 3-5 more outfits, try on at least 6 combinations of shoes,whip off the big pants , pull out the emergency pulling pants, whizz around the flat/house making it look better, put the apple pie in the fridge, leg it for the last bus into town


answer no
leave all the outfits you tried on in a pile on the bed and floor, whack on anything you can that is ironed, hit the town in 10 mins..job done
Old 29 September 2006, 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by 84of300
Well, you already said you've got nowt for a WR1 Or is this sale more interesting
nothing for your car (apart from an ice blue touch up pen), but maybe something for the weekend m'am
Old 29 September 2006, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
nothing for your car (apart from an ice blue touch up pen), but maybe something for the weekend m'am
Bloody postman
It rubbed off
Something for the weekend, I'll think about that one
Old 29 September 2006, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
ah girls and their endless outfit sessions

easy way to decide..

1. are you on the pull tonight ?
2. will you be bringing back a lucky fella?

answer yes and try on at least 3-5 more outfits, try on at least 6 combinations of shoes,whip off the big pants , pull out the emergency pulling pants, whizz around the flat/house making it look better, put the apple pie in the fridge, leg it for the last bus into town


answer no
leave all the outfits you tried on in a pile on the bed and floor, whack on anything you can that is ironed, hit the town in 10 mins..job done
I only answered yes to number 1 though what do I do now


I bought some Aunt Bessies applie pie today and its sitting in the fridge already
Old 29 September 2006, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by ScoobLou
I only answered yes to number 1 though what do I do now


I bought some Aunt Bessies applie pie today and its sitting in the fridge already

well if you answered yes to number 1, then a) you will be getting a good pasting tonight , so forget the apples and b) forget any fancy outfits, the level of class in Norwich is not worth it
Old 29 September 2006, 08:06 PM
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Originally Posted by 84of300
Bloody postman
It rubbed off
Something for the weekend, I'll think about that one

so get it all sorted then..well done.

get your own back...send loads of stuff addressed to the local sorting office, but just under the correct postage....and then if they return it, refuse it and lamp the postie for good measure


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