Stars in their eyes
 

A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on
crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.

'It's very brave of you to come out here,' says Matthew. 'Please
tell the audience what happened?'

'Well' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when
we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed
outrightbut I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was
eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save
my legs.'

'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?' asks Matthew.
'No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that
myuncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances
in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine.

As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having
physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of
the year.'


A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

Kelly responds with: 'That's an unbelievable story. So tonight,
who are you going to be?'





Scroll down...





Keep going....







It's worth it honest.....













'Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'




(dont blame me, I just passed it on :D )

You said it was worth it:razz:

:brickwall

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I still laughed tho!:lol1:

note the disclaimer at the bottom :D

:Suspiciou - Nah, we still blame you:lol1:

Men have such simple minds :rolleyes:

:D

Or course, how do you think we please simple women :lol1:

thats him banging your head against the headboard :norty: :D

LMFAO here!:luxhello:

:lol1: Newsflash, Swiss made me laugh

:lol1: Oh swiss you aren't a grumpy old git afterall :D

well after todays continuing episode, I should be even grumpier...

borrowed a mate's car to get into work today (thx rob :thumb: ), as my tyre was meant to have arrived today for fitting.
came back this evening and still no sign of my tyre, so have no scoob tomorrow and need to drive up to shropshire with my two little uns. :mad: :mad:

luckily mate to the rescue, so I have a car for the weekend, but fecking couriers, tyre companies etc, have really hacked me off today :mad:

but apart from that, all is well and yes I am trying not to be grumpy :D

I do try madam :notworthy

Please tell me you have some vodka :(

thats an affirmative :thumb:
just downing my first one now, kids are playing playstation, jaffa cake each :D, dinner on the go....the night is young :)

Phew thats a relief :D

The garage sale still takes some beating :lol1:

well thx for your concern young lady :D

so what are you doing tonight, apart from chatting to the likes of me, I thought you would be out on the search for that scooby owning single guy :)

I will be having some specials next month...will let you have a shufti first :D

I'm in the process of making myself beautiful then I'm off to hit the Norwich pubs :D

so hitting the town at 10:30 then ??? :D

(sorry couldnt resist)

Well, you already said you've got nowt for a WR1 :lol1: Or is this sale more interesting ;)

Bugger, I knew you'd say that, your not far off though :lol1:

I'm already trying on my 10th outfit :D

ah girls and their endless outfit sessions :lol1: :lol1:

easy way to decide..

1. are you on the pull tonight ?
2. will you be bringing back a lucky fella?

answer yes and try on at least 3-5 more outfits, try on at least 6 combinations of shoes,whip off the big pants , pull out the emergency pulling pants, whizz around the flat/house making it look better, put the apple pie in the fridge, leg it for the last bus into town :D


answer no
leave all the outfits you tried on in a pile on the bed and floor, whack on anything you can that is ironed, hit the town in 10 mins..job done

nothing for your car (apart from an ice blue touch up pen), but maybe something for the weekend m'am :D

Bloody postman :mad:
It rubbed off :D
Something for the weekend, I'll think about that one :D

I only answered yes to number 1 though what do I do now :wonder:


I bought some Aunt Bessies applie pie today and its sitting in the fridge already :lol1:

well if you answered yes to number 1, then a) you will be getting a good pasting tonight :D, so forget the apples and b) forget any fancy outfits, the level of class in Norwich is not worth it :D

so get it all sorted then..well done.

get your own back...send loads of stuff addressed to the local sorting office, but just under the correct postage....and then if they return it, refuse it and lamp the postie for good measure :D