douglasb

...and on his first night in the barracks asks the other guys what they do each evening.

"Well, Monday nights are drinking nights. We go to the town and get legless. Great!"

"But I don't drink."

"OK. On Tuesday nights we have the card school. Playing poker, winning a quid or two. Another great night."

"I don't gamble."

"Well, on Wednesday nights it's 'Grab a Granny' at the local club. We usually pull and we all get our ends away."

"I'm married and believe in my marriage vows."

"Thursdays are drug nights. We get a load of wakky baccy and smoke the lot. Great night!"

"I don't do drugs."

"Look. You don't drink, don't gamble, aren't interested in women and don't do drugs. Are you queer or something?"

"No, I'm not!"

"Well you won't enjoy Friday nights either!"

Rapid17

Bubba po

He sounds like Polymath, who posted in muppets today.

Scooby Snacks 23

Guy goes to a doctor and asks if it's possible to live to be 150.

DR: "Well", it really depends on your lifesyle. Do you you drink much".

MAN: "No, never touched a drop of alcohol in my life".

DR: "Okay, do you have lots of promiscuous sex with lots of different people"

MAN: "No, I'm a virgin and intend to stay celibate"

DR: "Okay, do you take drugs"

MAN: "No, never touched them"

DR: "Okay, do you gamble, or watch sport?"

MAN: "Certinaly not"

DR: "What the **** do you want to live to be 150 then".