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Replies that British women have put on CSA forms

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Old 05 September 2006, 09:49 AM
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RMA26
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Default Replies that British women have put on CSA forms

Worth reading for No. 11 alone


The following are all replies that British women have put on ChildSupport Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:
These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, It takes the prize.


1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A wasfathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the fatherof child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.


2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as Iwasbeing sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at theparty if this helps.


3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She wasconceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sexwith a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so goodthat I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.


4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. Hedrivesa BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area, and see if he's had it replaced.



5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from thePope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that heis Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me
thatto do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing rightby you and right by the country. Please advise.


7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddieslook the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with
him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
Euro-Disney; maybe it really is the MagicKingdom.


10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that Iremember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier inthe evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.



11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, afterall when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made youfart.
Old 05 September 2006, 09:54 AM
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F**cking funny that made my boss and i laugh a lot.
Old 05 September 2006, 09:57 AM
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davegtt
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2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as Iwasbeing sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at theparty if this helps.
ROFLMFAO
Old 05 September 2006, 10:22 AM
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Almost too bizarre to be true - but who cares as it is very funny!
Old 05 September 2006, 10:37 AM
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richiewong
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Jesus some of those a scarily funny
Old 05 September 2006, 10:49 AM
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miss*scoobygav555*
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Some classy ladies there..
Old 05 September 2006, 10:56 AM
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T4molie
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FPMSL
Old 05 September 2006, 10:58 AM
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sydsnot2002
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absolute quality
Old 05 September 2006, 12:00 PM
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Scooby Snacks 23
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Quality - raised a smile on an otherwise sh*tty day
Old 05 September 2006, 12:04 PM
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Enigma
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PMSL
Old 05 September 2006, 08:42 PM
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Quality
Old 05 September 2006, 09:02 PM
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SCOsazOBY
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and to top that with a genuine excuse as to why someone failed to sign on at the jobcentre on time..........................he got abducted by aliens and this time they didnt drop him off at home, instead they dropped him off at the nearby town and he had to walk!!
Old 05 September 2006, 09:27 PM
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SwissTony
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listen, sara squares asked that all her replies to the questionaire were private...who the hell leaked that



Old 05 September 2006, 09:46 PM
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wrx300scooby
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Sorry to repeat but I really did PMSL
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