SN agony aunts ahoy! - If they do it once, they'll do it again?
04 September 2006, 03:28 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
SN agony aunts ahoy! - If they do it once, they'll do it again?
Found out on Friday that my GF of 6 years, mother of my 5 year old daughter and Finacee of all of 2 weeks has been up to no good with someone else.
Was great fun getting them in the same place together along with those that presented the information to me in the first place and let them all have a big row over who was to blame.
Anyway, being the sucker that I am I do believe that nothing "TOO" serious has happened and I really don't want my daughter going half way across the country to Yorkshire (her parents).
However, my issue is if it happens once then is it a certain it will happen again. Appreciate no one knows us specifically but from experience is it a given that it will keep on happening.
Serious as possible guys!
Was great fun getting them in the same place together along with those that presented the information to me in the first place and let them all have a big row over who was to blame.
Anyway, being the sucker that I am I do believe that nothing "TOO" serious has happened and I really don't want my daughter going half way across the country to Yorkshire (her parents).
However, my issue is if it happens once then is it a certain it will happen again. Appreciate no one knows us specifically but from experience is it a given that it will keep on happening.
Serious as possible guys!
04 September 2006, 03:31 PM
#3
Scooby Senior
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Next door to the WiFi connection
Posts: 16,293
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Sorry to hear about it mate, cant be easy. Seems splitting is in the air at SN recently 
Not really got anything to offer but apart from that if you love each other isnt it worth giving it one last chance? Especially if there is a child involved although that in itself is no reason to stay together and ruin each others lives...
Good luck
Not really got anything to offer but apart from that if you love each other isnt it worth giving it one last chance? Especially if there is a child involved although that in itself is no reason to stay together and ruin each others lives...
Good luck
04 September 2006, 03:32 PM
#4
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Posts: 3,256
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
sorry but i think that if she's done it once she'll do it again...
was it before or after you proposed... after and she definitely deserves to be dumped IMHO
was it before or after you proposed... after and she definitely deserves to be dumped IMHO
04 September 2006, 03:35 PM
#5
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: N. London/Herts
Posts: 331
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I think I could just about forgive a drunken snog, but anything more than that is out of the question. Having said that, I'd have a serious dilemma on my hands if I had children with the woman involved....
When you say nothing *too* serious, do you mean nothing sexual?
When you say nothing *too* serious, do you mean nothing sexual?
Last edited by Pedro_79; 04 September 2006 at 03:41 PM.
04 September 2006, 03:37 PM
#7
I suppose it really depends on her mate. Does she want to be with you? Is she upset about it and wants to make it work with you and your daughter?
Its always worth another go especially when there are kids involved. What she will have to accept is that you have no trust for her and will be naturally inquisitive of any phonecalls, texts, and places she goes.
Is that what you want?
Best of luck
Its always worth another go especially when there are kids involved. What she will have to accept is that you have no trust for her and will be naturally inquisitive of any phonecalls, texts, and places she goes.
Is that what you want?
Best of luck
Trending Topics
04 September 2006, 03:41 PM
#9
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Notts, UK
Posts: 4,935
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
If a child wasn't involved I'd say run a mile and quickly.
A bit more difficult in this situation.
How is she playing it, full of guilt and remorse or just trying to get out of it by saying not much happened?
Is she prepared to seek councilling and advice?
IMO her response will determine if you move on or stay around.
Cheers
Lee
A bit more difficult in this situation.
How is she playing it, full of guilt and remorse or just trying to get out of it by saying not much happened?
Is she prepared to seek councilling and advice?
IMO her response will determine if you move on or stay around.
Cheers
Lee
04 September 2006, 03:46 PM
#11
Moderator
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The Terry Crews of moderation. P P P P P P POWER!!
Posts: 18,687
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by EddScott
Found out on Friday that my GF of 6 years, mother of my 5 year old daughter and Finacee of all of 2 weeks has been up to no good with someone else.
Was great fun getting them in the same place together along with those that presented the information to me in the first place and let them all have a big row over who was to blame.
Anyway, being the sucker that I am I do believe that nothing "TOO" serious has happened and I really don't want my daughter going half way across the country to Yorkshire (her parents).
However, my issue is if it happens once then is it a certain it will happen again. Appreciate no one knows us specifically but from experience is it a given that it will keep on happening.
Serious as possible guys!
Was great fun getting them in the same place together along with those that presented the information to me in the first place and let them all have a big row over who was to blame.
Anyway, being the sucker that I am I do believe that nothing "TOO" serious has happened and I really don't want my daughter going half way across the country to Yorkshire (her parents).
However, my issue is if it happens once then is it a certain it will happen again. Appreciate no one knows us specifically but from experience is it a given that it will keep on happening.
Serious as possible guys!
Whether someone is likely to change very much depends on why they did it and how they feel about having done it an its impact on you, there is no easy answer I'm afraid. However, if something has happened, you have a lot of heart searching to do to find out whether a) you want to maintain the relationship b) whether, hand on heart, you think you'll be able to trust her again.
Not a nice situation to be in, my condolences!
Ns04
BTW if you want my own not so objective opinion on what I'd do if I had proof that someone had cheated on me, it's as the old saying goes: "make a fool out of me once, shame on you, do it twice, shame on me!"
Last edited by New_scooby_04; 04 September 2006 at 03:49 PM.
04 September 2006, 03:50 PM
#14
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Posts: 3,256
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by RMA26
Sod the 2nd chance, why possibly put yourself through this again in the future....?
you're obviously hurting a lot or you wouldn't have posted in here asking for advice... why risk it again...?
i've been there, done that, and i know it doesn't get any easier when they cheat on you a second time...
if i ever found out that my husband had been cheating he'd be thrown out, with no second chance...
04 September 2006, 03:52 PM
#15
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 4,778
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I've had it, ex with my so called best mate at the time (Not mates anymore like!)
I found out, gave her the benefit of the doubt, caught them together at a country pub, went mad, came to blows with Him & got rid of her
I found out, gave her the benefit of the doubt, caught them together at a country pub, went mad, came to blows with Him & got rid of her
04 September 2006, 03:52 PM
#16
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 4,778
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I've had it, ex with my so called best mate at the time (Not mates anymore like!)
I found out, gave her the benefit of the doubt, caught them together at a country pub, went mad, came to blows with Him & got rid of her
It's different with you mate, you have a kid involved
I found out, gave her the benefit of the doubt, caught them together at a country pub, went mad, came to blows with Him & got rid of her
It's different with you mate, you have a kid involved
Last edited by RMA26; 04 September 2006 at 03:56 PM.