astraboy

Last week I was washing my car (just before I sold it) and I saw the house opposite's (which belongs to a sad man with severe OCD, 77 wipes of his feet on the doormat is the current record) curtains twitch. I didn't think anything from it until this morning when a threatening letter from the waterboard arrived asking me if I used a a hosepipe recently.

So I rung them up and said "Yes I was, but it was siphoning out of the bath instead of connected to a hose, is that okay?"
"Of course it is" they replied, "just as long as you dont fill up your bath expressly for that."
"Of course not" I replied, "I'd just had a BATH" (luckily I'd remembered to put some clothes on before I started washing the car)
"Thats okay then, I'll add that to your record" (I like the way I have a "Record" now, even though they are not a law enforcement organisation)
Anyways, I am now free to wash my cars with abandon.
But the big question is, what do I do with the nosey OCD neighbour?
astraboy.

davegtt

pop the hose pipe through his letter box and give him your dirty old bath water

brumdaisy

buy a dummy cctv thing and point it directly at his house (make lots of noise whilst 'installing' it) and see how he likes it.

oik

Can you believe that, astraboy calling somebody 'sad'

Tell me, is there a hosepipe ban in your area?

Jamo

iTrader: (23)

he reports you for using a hose pipe when its banned and hes nosey, what does that make you, counting him wipe his feet on the door mat?

jods

What's OCD ?

mattykimbo

obnoxious c**ts disorder??, astraboy, take away his doormat and see what happens

oik

What's obnoxious about it? .. the guy would probably like to water his wilting garden and is a law abiding citizen and out walks astragimp, in all his acid dance ****e regalia pumping 'tunes' out of his ****heap "yo, it's outta the barf man innit yeah"

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

'77 wipes of his feet on the doormat'

Thats not OCD, thats a burnout !

little-ginge

You should invite him in to watch you take your bath, and give him the honour of sucking the hose to start the siphoning

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

As above, hide his doormat

Bubba po

There's a doormat mentality on this thread.

POC

put dog **** on his doormat

speye91

Well i live in County Durham, and at the weekend i washed the car with the hosepipe.

Filled the bairns paddling pool....900+ Gallons

Thats what you Southern, lot get for having all the nice weather.

Move up north and you will never have this problem

Mick

Fuzz

NO hose pipe ban in gloucestershire.
Watered the garden every night this week.. until tonight cos it's just pissed down.


Andy

Lee247

It will take time

Stephb1986

get a steaming pile of dog turd and put it through his letter box and then take away his door mat.
I have no hosepipe ban i live up north ha ha i will go and squirt kiddies with it tomorrow now just to make a point

sparky300

not taking the pee, but if a guy with OCD that cleans his hand 100 times a hour can have a go at you using dirty water!!!!!!!!!!!!!! something is not right!

The Chief

I have a few nosey neighbours and its these sad f**ks who have nothing better to do in their sad little lives than to grass people up for the hideous crime of using a hose pipe

These same people spend their time during their (normally early) retirement writing letters of complaint to their local council/Tesco store managers etc and spend all their day sat waiting for the letter box to clatter and hopefully get some sort of apology - which what they get off on.

would these same people call the police if your scoob was being stolen - like **** they would.

Sorry for the rant - i've had some doddering old c*** threaten to have my Scoob towed away (nice letter behind the door this evening) just for being parked in front of his home (even though it and i am totally legal for it)

If i lived in Mayfair - fair enough but i live in a street full of semi's with nosey t**ts who think they're a cut above.


And rest..........

Lee247

I don't have a hosepipe ban, living in the North East. But, can someone tell me please, if you are being told to restrict how much water you use, have they reduced your bills because they cannot supply the product you are paying for

fatherpierre

I'm on a water metre so pay for what I use.

My bills work out at about £230 per year, including watering the garden and washing the cars.

I never bathe or shower though, and only drink lager

speye91

Good thinking Batwoman.

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

lol at the replies I've seen loads of people round my way using hosepipes but Thames water are losing loads more than hosepipe users

The Chief

Thats the annoying thing isn't it - we had a leak for friggin' days must have been tens of thousands of gallons wasted.

Luckily for us Northern nancies it p***es down 364 days a year

The Snug Rhino

But then down south we can afford proper pools, 900 gallons is a bird bath not a pool......and when i fill mine up i use a hose because its not covered by the ban.

So move down south, get nice weather, proper pools and still use your hose (you can bring your bird bath if you want)

The Chief

Afford proper pools - your having a laugh mate - what with your inflated mortgages and warm shandy

we'll keep our rain, whippets and higher standard of living thanks.

oop north is where its at

fatherpierre

If you class getting TB and scurvy as being included with a high standard of living, then fill your boots

Now where's my butler

sti-04!!

He broke down on the M25 with the latest old clap trap you bought from ebay.

Miss Kinky

Obsessive Cortina Disorder - something i suffer from

OllyK

It's interesting, the number of people that keep telling me I'd be better off on a water meter, then when we compare prices they find out I'm paying about half what they are and realise it isn't as good a deal as what they thought!

£11 per month DD for water, no hose pipe ban and a leaking water main outside the front of the house that's been going for over 18 months now