RayC

Hi all,

i'm getting married in june and we have decided to have fortune cookies as the little table gift/tat, we can choose 5 little one line anecdotes to put inside so i fancied things along the lines of........

Any married man should forget his mistakes, no use in two people remembering
the same thing.

any help appreciated

Ray

ps if your interested

http://www.weddingfortunecookies.co.uk

Daz34

Never go to sleep on bad terms.
Stay up and fight!

RayC

Nice! keep em coming

Chip Sengravy

She was only a welder's daughter, but she had acetylne ****

fast bloke

My mother-in-law told me exercise helps her burn off the calories. I told her a flamethrower would be quicker.

fast bloke

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

oobster

My best man came up with: "I never thought Andy would find a woman that could compare to his love of cars, but then I met Dawn and noticed her huge headlamps and her big bumpers!"

Or one I came out with in my grooms speech: Whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

mart360

Get divorced first, you,ll find out who your friends really are


Mart

fast bloke

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge

oobster

To the bride's parents: "Bet after 28 years you didnt think you'd still be putting her to bed with a dummy, eh?"

Scientists have just discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex-drive by 90%…… it’s called wedding cake

oobster

Or the oldie: This isnt the 1st time today i've risen from a warm seat with paper in my hand!

CooperS

Loads of speeches on www.hitched.co.uk

fast bloke

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

wwp8

he doesn't really love you


help i'm stuck in a forune cookie factory.



i hope you're not getting married



hes had your sister too





check his secret emails, you'll then know his secrets.

Reality

To save us writing thank you cards - thanks for the present.

Thomas Wainwright

You're only here because we had to make up the numbers.

The best man's running a book on how long this sham will last.

wwp8

that wasn't chicken

Avi

http://www.quotegarden.com/marriage.html

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en...+is+like&meta=

wwp8

when you're reading this you won't notice your husband's hand on your sisters thigh

EddScott

I think the groom as caught "Bird Flu"

He's started talking bollox
Wearing too much makeup
And can't park his car

Bluie

Three rings of love
Engagement Ring
Wedding Ring
SuffeRing

scoobydooooo

i do






now that is funny

maddog321

Rusty Ring?????

The Trooper 1815

iTrader: (31)

It give me and my new wife great pleasure to have sex on the washing machine!

Grabs their attention.

wwp8

use by 16/02/03

Robbie T

iTrader: (8)

Just get a picture of each of his ex girlfriends complete with the phrase 'Look what you could have won' underneath

speedking

A man is incomplete until he's married. Then he's finished

wwp8

his nickname speedy isn't because he drives a scooby

scud8

iTrader: (1)

If a man says something in a forest and there's no woman there to contradict him, is he still wrong?

legb4rsk

hidden messages associated with marriage ceromony
aisle alter hymn. scary!

Also one piece of advise ; get married as early in the morning as possible,then if it dosen't work out you haven't wasted the whole day.