gazingdown

G/F and I will at some point get wed, things going well. However she's a catholic, not big time but enough that the wedding has to be in a catholic church. I, on the other hand am not religious (in the slightest!). I don't have any objections to it being in a church and her having a 'blessing' in a religious context etc. I however will not say anything religious etc.

So anyone know how these things are done. I guess it's the same as people getting married when they are both religious but of different religions (i.e. a christian and a muslim or hindu etc.)

davyboy

Muslim getting married to a Hindu

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Insist on a Humanist ceremony, its shorter than the Catholic one and free of the Religous Mumbo Jumbo, if she isnt all that into it she may agree, but then most of Catholocism seems to be a big guilt trip so you may have to do the Catholic thing to keep her conciensce clear. We did the C of E thing, the whole thing was nice but nowadays, though I respect other peoples religions/beliefs I am anti religion for myself.

Jamz3k

being protestant myself if i was to marry a catholic, i would have no choice in the matter of where i get wed as a protestant church would not marry us, so it would defo have to be in a catholic chaple, to be honest i wouldnt get a flyin ****! its not about the location.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Its about the wedding night......

davyboy

The only reason people get married in churches is so it looks good in pics!

A&E

If you don't object to it being in a church, then surely you don't object to saying a couple of words if it means all parties involved are happy?

Words are just words - it's how you feel that counts - good luck

Jamz3k

personally i just wouldnt get married, im not the sharing type

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

I have to differ with you there Jay - I am baptised Roman Catholic and was married in an Anglican Church. As long as you respect the Church and its beliefs you will be welcomed... in fact the whole group at the church were amongst the friendliest people we had the pleasure to meet (apart from the new Assistant Vicar, who frankly, was an evangelical pain in the ****)

Jamz3k

u may be right, im just going from "as far as i know" as i've never put it into practice lol nor do i plan too for another 10 years or so

imi

Agree...

Leslie

I should not worry about it, just go along with the ceremony to keep your G/F happy. It won't affect you particularly.

Les

MattW

Me too, I'm Catholic but was married in CofE church. A Catholic wedding was too much for my Father in Law to stand

EiW

RUBBISH - he just thought "good grief, if I have to give my daughter away to THAT bloke, I'm doing it on my turf"

SJ_Skyline

Remember you will be spending the rest of your life with her so it's best to let her have her own way otherwise you will never hear the end of it

MattW

Well as you well know that couldn't possibly be the case

Drunken Bungle Whore

I think you'll find it just about impossible to get married in any church without saying 'anything religeous'.

If she's Catholic then you might want to have an in depth discussion about what happens when you have kids - a lot of practising Catholics are very particular about kids being bought up in the faith etc.

Suresh

I am not religious but married a good [lapsed] catholic girl. I objected to the religious mumbo jumbo so in the end we got married in a civil ceremony, but in a church building. Church was protestant, but a church nonetheless.

Compromise is the name of the game. if she had insisted on the religious wedding I would have done it, because it is her day after all!

Suresh

moses

lol thats something let me tell u , it happens alot in india

i feel sad for the kids, one parent teaches worship of the one true God the unseen while the other teaches about worshipping so many and where islam forbids idols the hindu parent doesnt


man kids are in the middle they dont know what to do


catholic and protestant aint really a problem their both christians still a few hurdles though

jew and muslim aint too bad, very similiar but i do prefer if i had to marry someone it would have to be someone who converted to islam before we ever met , not converted coz of the luv for me but for the luv of God with a true heart

coz if someone does convert coz they wanna marry u whats to say tomorrow when u split they wont change

the wife is gonna take the kid to her own culture or religion, worshipping idols, a man or anything else and a culture of having different partners every week or out of marriage sex, u dont want your kids to become like that

Leslie

If she is a devout Catholic then she will want to bring up the children in her own faith. The Catholic religion requires a promise it that respect if you marry in a Catholic ceremony. Its something to consider of course but if you are not religiously inclined that may not bother you.

Les

OllyK

Or it may be a cause for concern that a child is being indoctrinated from birth, rather than being presented with all the facts and being allowed to draw their own conclusions when they are old enough.

It worries me greatly when religions feel the need to impose themselves in such a manner.

Leslie

Thats a difficult one to answer accurately in all respects.

Some will say that a child should be brought up at least in a Christian or with some kind of a basic religious belief to hang their hat on to guide them in their formative years. This would stem from the parents' personal beliefs of course. I know you would not agree with that OllyK.

The important thing in my mind is that at least the child should be brought up to understand natural law so that it is guided to live in a decent manner without causing distress to others and with a respect for authority which is necessary for people to live together in harmony.

Most religions teach people to live like that so in general not too much harm is done with the average religious upbringing.

I am grateful that during my education we took Apologetics as a subject where all religions were compared honestly and the choice was left to us without any specific form of persuasion one way or another. I am a strong believer that the most important thing in life is to honestly follow your own conscience.

Les

OllyK

You know me well I would argue that religion is a convenient method for presenting a moral framework. It is certainly possible to raise a moral child without the need for teaching it within a religious framework. The downside of choosing religion as a framework is that is comes with an awful lot of illogical and contradictory baggage.

On that we both agree.

But religion isn't just about moral upbringing, there is a rather more central tennant to all religions than that!

Again we agree.

I would prefer no religion to be taught rather than just one religion be taught in isolation. In the world as it stands, all, or at least as many as practical religions should be taught in parallel, and while it is not a religion in itself, critical thinking should also be taught as a mechanism to explain the possibility that there is no supreme being(s) and the problems with faith based systems.

jasey

If you feel strongly about not gibbering on about religious mumbo jumbo then get married somewhere else - the day is for both of you and you both need to feel comfortable with what you are being asked to do.

ps. If you do decide on the church don't ask the priest for any change for the condom machine and don't look for one in the church bogs.

Hoppy

GD, you need to find out what her faith actually means in practical terms, and also the depth of your own feeling.

I married a Catholic girl and it was a major issue for her parents, me being divorced, not baptised, and a fairly ambivalent atheist. At the time, I couldn't give a damn about telling a few white lies as it kept everybody happy.

But what about kids and contraception? You going to Mass everyday, or just Sundays? Happy to send your kids to Catholic school on the other side of town when the school down the road is perfectly good? Do you want your children indoctrinated with some quite severe religious bollox?

As it turned out, religion has never come between us, despite my own anti-Catholic views strengthening. It came to a head when I refused to attend the Christening of our second child. The Christening went ahead, but a line had been drawn in the sand and was never again crossed.

She will have got her religious beliefs from her parents, who will have a big influence, and you may not find how deep they go until much later. Try not to make a drama out of it, but some up front honesty will pay back long term.

Richard.

PS Sex before marriage? An entertaining test...

jasey

If the priest is wanting to **** your gf before he marries you I'd walk away now mate .