Bovine Capitalism
23 February 2005, 05:06 PM
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Bovine Capitalism
(don't think it's SIAL)
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.
They mate, the herd grows, and the business is flourishing.
You sell them in a few years, and you retire with the money you've made.
AMERICAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a new cell phone, and you force the
other cow to produce as much milk as four cows.
You are very surprised when the cow dies. You call your friends and tell
them about it. They suggest you to sue the *******s that sold you the cows.
FRENCH COMPANY
You have two cows. You go out on strike because you want three.
JAPANESE COMPANY
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are ten times smaller, and
they produce twenty times more milk then a regular cow.
Then you create animated images of the cow, you name the character Cowkemon,
and you promote it on a global scale.
GERMAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You redesign them so they would live 300 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
BRITISH COMPANY
You have two cows. They are both mad.
ITALIAN COMPANY
You have two cows, but you have no clue where the hell they are.
You take a break for lunch.
MEXICAN COMPANY
You have two cows. After a while, they run for the border.
In a few months you start receiving money from a farm in Texas.
RUSSIAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You count them, and find out you have five cows.
You count them again, and you come to the conclusion that you actually have 42 cows.
You count them one more time, and you realize there are only 12 cows.
You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.
SWISS COMPANY
You have 5000 cows; none of them belong to you.
You bill the owners for the storage fee.
INDIAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You worship them.
CHINESE COMPANY
You have two cows. You hire 300 people to milk them.
You declare a 0% unemployment rate and a high bovine productivity.
You arrest the reporter who published the numbers and throw him in jail.
ROMANIAN COMPANY
You have five cows and a bull. You have the same expenses as if you had twelve cows.
You milk only three of them, you run around confused, and hire personnel for twenty four cows.
You declare bankruptcy and then you blame the bull
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.
They mate, the herd grows, and the business is flourishing.
You sell them in a few years, and you retire with the money you've made.
AMERICAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a new cell phone, and you force the
other cow to produce as much milk as four cows.
You are very surprised when the cow dies. You call your friends and tell
them about it. They suggest you to sue the *******s that sold you the cows.
FRENCH COMPANY
You have two cows. You go out on strike because you want three.
JAPANESE COMPANY
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are ten times smaller, and
they produce twenty times more milk then a regular cow.
Then you create animated images of the cow, you name the character Cowkemon,
and you promote it on a global scale.
GERMAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You redesign them so they would live 300 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
BRITISH COMPANY
You have two cows. They are both mad.
ITALIAN COMPANY
You have two cows, but you have no clue where the hell they are.
You take a break for lunch.
MEXICAN COMPANY
You have two cows. After a while, they run for the border.
In a few months you start receiving money from a farm in Texas.
RUSSIAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You count them, and find out you have five cows.
You count them again, and you come to the conclusion that you actually have 42 cows.
You count them one more time, and you realize there are only 12 cows.
You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.
SWISS COMPANY
You have 5000 cows; none of them belong to you.
You bill the owners for the storage fee.
INDIAN COMPANY
You have two cows. You worship them.
CHINESE COMPANY
You have two cows. You hire 300 people to milk them.
You declare a 0% unemployment rate and a high bovine productivity.
You arrest the reporter who published the numbers and throw him in jail.
ROMANIAN COMPANY
You have five cows and a bull. You have the same expenses as if you had twelve cows.
You milk only three of them, you run around confused, and hire personnel for twenty four cows.
You declare bankruptcy and then you blame the bull
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