hedgehog

North Wales, home of the lovely Chief Constable Brunstrom, has seen a 450% increase in violent deaths in the region in the last year. The Chief Constable has blamed this increase on "Hollywood." The exact connection between his failure to control increasing crime rates and Hollywood is unclear, perhaps people from Hollywood are just flocking to get into North Wales and such people tend to be violent? Perhaps a large chunk of Hollywood fell out of the sky and killed people in North Wales?

Brunstrom is perhaps most famous for his zero tolerance speed enforcement and his never ending persecution of the motorist. Despite his erection of many speed cameras and his encouragement of all sorts of underhand methods of catching speeding motorists his campaign appears to have been as successful as his anti-Hollywood campaign. In 2003 16 people died on the roads in North Wales. In 2004 36 people lost their lives on the roads under the never blinking eye of the safety partnership and the safety cameras and the safety vans.

In view of how well the safety cameras are working, plus the dangers presented by the Hollywood situation, whatever that may be, I would advise that everyone avoids North Wales, and perhaps Hollywood as well.

Turbohot

Ah well.......................



- North Wales resident

hades

Ah, but is it Hollywood USA, Hollywood Northern Ireland or Hollywood, Worcs that is causing the problem? In Brunstrom's eyes, it could be all those speeding motorists trying to leave Wales on their way to Worcestershire, as we all know someone doing 62mph on an empty straight A-road is much worse than any serial killer.

The other possibility that you neglected to mention is that a lot of people may have been violently killed by large white letters on a hillside. Anyway, it's nice to see the safety of North Wales is in such sane, capable hands, which is leading to clear improvements there.

astraboy

The man sounds like a complete fantasist to me.
astraboy.

topdog

Could Angelina Jolie have anything to do with it?

fatscoobyfella

My mother in law lives in Hollywood !!! how many of ya can say that?..lol..
Not the US of A version tho..

Wales/Hollywood connection??..erm...nothin to do with that Zeta Jones women and that coffin dodger of a hubby she is with is it?..there always flitting back and forth!!

Vegescoob

I have often thought that we might usefully import the USA practice of having elected Judges, Police Chiefs and other public officials.
Has always seemed to me to be a bit more democratic. You elect a fool, your fault but you can at least get rid next time round.

r32

I dont know how people like him get the job? He's deranged .......

NotoriousREV

Perhaps it's Mrs Zetec-Jones-Douglas that's committing all these violent crimes? Maybe he could reprogram the safety cameras to be Catherine Cameras?

hedgehog

Good thinking, program the cameras to catch people called Catherine driving at speed and all death in North Wales will be eliminated!! Why didn't I think of that?

To be honest if I lived in North Wales I might want to die as soon as possible in view of the nutter who is in charge of protecting my life and property and, in view of his abilities, I might get the opportunity, either in a car accident or at the hands of some crazed drug dealer, pretty soon.

Leslie

Wasn't Brunstrom caught for speeding himself also wasn't he caught out parking his car and trailer on the pavement next to his wall for his own convenience so that pedestrians had to step onto the road to get round it?

One law for some etc.

Les

MJW

If it's Hollywood causing all these deaths then maybe we could be in for a new wave of film censorship in North Wales. For example, 'The Fast and the Furious' would be renamed 'The Sedate and the Considerate' and have all the bits where they drive fast edited out of it, and new bits put in such as slowing down for pedestrian crossings, waving at friendly mobile camera operators, and perhaps getting out and pushing their cars around particularly dangerous corners.

Mungo

"The Sedate and the Considerate" - LMFAO!!

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Didn't his daughter also get caught speeding and was let off because of who she was.????

SJ_Skyline

She was caught speeding on a laser gun held by a reporter from "The Sun" Seeing as the reporter had not been trained in the proper use of the device it was not admissable as evidence and consequently she was not prosecuted.



Brunstrom is a *** (sorry - thought I needed to put that in here somewhere!)

scoobyster

I don't really understand why everyone goes on about N Wales being so bad for catching speeders. I spend about half of my time in Denbighshire and half in South Yorks, and find the latter much worse - fixed cameras everywhere and mobile guns well hidden. Around North East Wales there are very few fixed cameras and in my experience the mobile gunners are easy to spot from some distance and always in regular spots, so if you get caught you simply weren't paying attention.

Having said that, my mum lives near the base for plod vehicles and all too many of them are camera vans which presumably never do anything else; clearly these figures suggest they ought to. I do think it's a bit much for the tabloids to have been persecuting his daughter all the same.

Zeta-J is a Taff not a Gog btw

hades

Not a case of N Wales being considered bad for catching speeders. More a case of N Wales being considered bad for insane / obsessive chief constables.

"The sedate and the considerate". I can just see it now. Rick Moranis stars as "wimpy", an undercover policeman in North Wales. Knowing that all crime is caused by Hollywood, Wimpy infiltrates the Hollywood car scene. Using his detuned Toyota Prius and multiple "defensive driver" courses, he finally discovers that all the killings are a direct result of the evil Owain Spielberg-Jones.