SiPie

Having spent over 17 years in these weird fecked up environments, you get to notice certain things .....

Why do women all have a box of flowery tissues on their desk and men don't

Speak to anyone on a Friday and they can't utter a sentence without being mentioned ...... as if we need reminding which day of the week it is

Not even going to bother mentioning all the other stereotypical behaviour that goes on ......

Anyone got any ?

ajm

A few of the women in our office also have cat posters around their desks, if only they knew! The same women also had cats as backgrounds on their PC's when I joined the company, but nothing a rigourous application of Group Policy across the network didn't solve!

We also have a few "lifers" who are seeing out their pensions. Just observe them for a while when they think no one is looking and it is obvious these people are absolute masters of looking busy yet doing nothing! They are always up and down in the periphery of your vision, moving files from here to there, tapping away on the computer but not actually DOING anything. Ask someone what they actually do or who they work for and nobody knows!

djuk

Very true observations but I can sympathise with the Friday thing, I'm guilty of it myself! I always find theres a general atmosphere of doom which is at it's most severe on a Monday that slowly dulls as the week goes on

lawson101

Bloke beside me has a box of tissues on his desk......wonder what that says about him!!?

lightning101

Lot of people had family pics on their desks, until moustaches and black teeth satified my boredom.


Hardly any guys ever say "I've got piles of washing to get through this weekend either"

Daz34

lots of men have a box besides there home pc though

SiPie

the moose

1 There's the ritual "bring a baby in" session, where every female, regardless of marital/parental status, has to coo over a kiddy and say that it looks gorgeous, just like her mum etc etc.

2 There's always someone who's "been in trouble with HR" and is best avoided

3 The same people seem to have ASTONISHLY dull lives, but persist in telling you about them. Our Internal Auditor felt the need to tell me about the lead flashing on his new conservatory the other day, and I had to gnaw my leg off to stay awake.

4 The quiet Indian bloke. There's ALWAYS a quiet Indian bloke who just gets on with it, has a work ethic that would shame a Trojan, but is sadly underestimated and undervalued. Often good value at the Christmas party when he gets pissed and starts to tell you what he really thinks of management.

Account deleted by request

FPMSL


Come on then who has? (excuse the pun)


chopper

ajm

Uncanny! A friend of mine has told me about a colleague (in large IT company) who fits this description exactly!

ajm

errr.... they're screen wipes.... honest!

(actually that sounds no better does it!!! )

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

Slightly off topic but regarding women you work with.... Do you notice the 'Office effect'?

A new lass starts at your place and the first week you see them 'nothing'

then a month down the line you start to think 'yeah, they're ok'

a few weeks later and it's 'not bad, not bad at all'

6 months in and you're 'I deffo would yeah!'

It's odd but that **** happens

SiPie

STI

That's known as familiarity mate....

Wonder why the same effect doesn't happen to my girlfriend

Class

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

You have to get familiar with women first?!!

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

We have a 'feeder' here. Two or three times a week he will go and spend £10-£15 on chocolate for the girls in sales.... now trust me the last thing that heard of heffers needs is more food!! I think he does it in an attept to find one that will sh@g him. He's 32, lives with his mum and dad and to the best of my knowladge stil a virgin!

Buzzer

Bloody hell, you dont work in Mitcham, Surrey do you

the moose

Nope, further North.

Buzzer

Oh thats okay.

Must mean they all go to classes

ajm

We also have the obligatory office joker who forgets who he has already told a joke to, so you get the same one 2 or 3 times. Then you can hear him going around the office telling everyone else and they are always appauling jokes that you have to laugh at to be polite!

TurboKitty

No tissues on my desk, just a PC, a heap of paperwork, a KVM switch, a network switch and a black mug with "RTFM" printed on it in big white letters.

Edit: Oh, and a 'phone.

Scooby-Doo

Agree they stop after the word piles

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

There is always the office 'Colin Hunt' who thinks he is dead funny, is always up to date for the latest catchpharses, i.e. 'Yeah I know', 'Eh Eh Ehhhhh', 'Yeah but no but, roight' etc, the most annoying tit in the place who annoys the f*ck out of the whole office.

Thats me that is !

Theres the office smooth bloke, dresses better than the job deserves, Blue Tooth ear piece, MP3 Player, designer gear, lives at home with his parents at 30.

I shall think of some more, Thank you please.....

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Just to add to my last post, the computer Has said 'No' at least seven times today !

All IT bods, it is now your duty to use this phrase everyday !

Petem95

Working in IT is the worst thing - everyone else in the office assumes this is your only interest in life, and always ask IT related questions and for your opinions on pieces of hardware throughout break times and lunch times

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Pete, absolutely, I just say that basically any pc will do unless you want to play games, their answer is usually 'oh god no, not games, havent got time',

Then, what you need to say, 'Right then the Dell P4 will be more than adequate for masturbatory purposes'

andypugh2000

I dont work in an office but I listen to the airhead bitches talking to each other across the desks, one says I got drunk last night, the other ALWAYS says *really* then the girl telling her says *yeah* then the other one tuts then gives some pile of ****e answer like *I only had one glass of wine* I feel like butting in and saying *well of course or she would have bothered fecking telling you airhead* why on earth does she have to put on these dopey voices saying *really* is beyond me!!! aaaagggghh!!!

I suppose its a kind of grooming they do to pass the time or boredom or both

Then you got the sad 30 something single guy who's daddy got him the job, thinks the suns shines out of his own ****, has no mates, beats off all the time and as soon as you mention sex or mates he ***** off as if he is very busy.

Hmmmm

andy

Senior_AP

*my reply to original thread post**


Simple. Offices are **** and people are *****.