Turbohot

how do you handle a long term broken relationship?Knowing its no good for you, you keep missing that person.Why?

fast bloke

habit? sort of like quitting smoking

Turbohot

ummmmmm..........very correct.But how do you give that habit up?Not eezee.Just like smoking......people involved ,emotions and all.......

ScoobyWon't

OMG - you've just read my mind!

Tonight I bumped into the one girl who single handedly defined the perfect woman to me!!!
For over 2 years, I knew her closely. For a certain amount of months we got closer and closer - and before we got close enough, I emigrated() Bugger!

Anyway, over five years have passed by, and now I bump into her.... she asks me if I think she looks/seems any different... of course not, I still love her to bits after all this time. No, it's probably not healthy... Hell, I even miss my last ex and her crazy weimeranerss even though I know that was the most unhealthy relationship I've been in... but still... there always that nagging feeling...

Either way, you can do as I've done - leave the country (more than once) or do as Wayne said in Wayne's World: I expect both work. Hop everything goes well for you!

fast bloke

[sends e-hug]

the bad news is that you can't - best you can hope for is that over time you will meet someone who is good for you and you feel as much for as the bad one you are now wrapped up in thought about

248SPG

IT is just a total habit thing. I was in the same situation. Didnt love her anymore and knew it wasn't going anywhere.

Best thing is to do is to just do something you enjoy everytime you feel lonely/sad.

When we broke up (We were living together) and I felt sad or lonely when I did something and expected her to be there (i.e. just got home from work to an empty house) I just watched a TV programme that I couldn't watch or felt selfish watching whilst she lived there like some sort of Sport related programme, or even something as small as having a meal that she didn't like.

Basically its just about using your time to do things that you enjoy as much as you can mate.

There is light at the end of the tunnel its just a typical bumpy English road getting there

Hope it all works for you.

S

fast bloke

Strange you should say that - about 4 oclock this afternoon I bumped into my first love. I hadn't thought about her for a couple of years, and haven't seen her since the age of 17. (half a lifetime ago ) I thought about her every day for the first two or three years after we spilt, then maybe once every couple of days, etc etc. When I talked to her today, the first thought that entered my head was.... Garth Brooks.... 'Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers' - She wasn't anything like I remember remembering, but was exactly like I remember. All the years have filtered out the bad stuff, like her mother being a complete nutter (policewoman) who threatened to shoot me if she ever saw me again (my crime was being the wrong religion) and I used to think she had the best personality, but now 17 years on she seems to lack any sense of fun and daring she ever had. She probably looked at me and thought the same thing, but the important message is that now, my memories tell me how good it was while my reality tells me otherwise. If you keepo thinking about this person 24*7 they will get better and better, but if you think about you 24*7 you will get better and better and they will get left behind


p.s. - Old flame still has the *** of a 17 yo

Turbohot

Someone said that let the pain go to the point you cant bear it.then the healing starts automatically.........But tyhe point is, why should there be any pain at first place for a wrong person who has given you nothing but grief?

fast bloke

probably cos they gave you good times as well, but it is better to focus on all the **** they caused. You will be on a downer cos we all like company and friendship. At some point this person was probably your closest friend, but thier actions are telling you now that they have rejected you. Doesn't matter if you have rejected them as well.... it still hurts

sti-04!!

Not going to comment, all i can say is that its HARD really hard, you just have to pick yourself up,dust yourself down, an get on with it

I was lucky, i met someone during my split(flame suit on), who is amazing, dont get me wrong she feels insecure incase i turn round & finish it but i am falling in an it feels great

Hope it all works out for you

Stephen

paulr

Some things you have to work out for yourself.

MattW

I went out with someone from the <cough> Mold area some years ago, loved her to bits, and when it broke up thought about her for many years.

Struggled to have any real involvement with anyone for many years because the pain was still raw. An ex even said to me 3-4 years after the "one", she must have screwed me up bad as she could n't ever get close to me.

Anyway moved away, found someone, got married and have kids, but still occasionally think back, birthday, item on the news, song on the radio etc.

I still think the experience of all that made me a harder" person, and am not sure that was a good thing. Still don't know why she finished it, maybe thats the problem, there was no closure as the Americans say!!

So, while it is hard, you never forget, you just move on.

Bee

Never easy but I find going out getting lashed on a Fri/Sat nite trying my mitt to get back into the saddle always helps! (For blokes anyway. )

Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast!

- Bee (Who's off out tonight to do the above! Now where are those lucky socks??)