Turbohot

My kid is in first year of High school.She is very bright( topper in every subject),very extrovert,confident pretty child.Today after school, she was very serious.Wouldn't tell me for ages wot happened.Eventually she told me that she is being called racist names in school-directly and indirectly.She is Anglo-Indian with olive skin and dark-blondish hair.Her dad is a white British male and I am Indian.
She is very stronghead and sticks up for herself.But this now-n-again racist remarks are getting her down.I am very worried about her.I have told her to ignore it but she says its hard.What do you think I can do?
Any suggestions much appreciated.

carl

No suggestions, but in a very similar situation at the moment. And apparently the school have a "zero tolerance" approach to bullying and racism

unclebuck

In England we don't have High School, so I assume you are American?

This sort of thing is very sad, but endemic among kids. Always was in my experience. Anyone out of the ordinary will be singled out. Hopefully, from what you say about her personality, she will cope and become all the stronger for it.

Edit - just reread title. So you are in the UK. Same thing still applies though IMO

UB

D.K.1

I'm so sory to hear about this Swati, are you able to see the head teacher at all, because this kind of thing is appalling IMHO.

I don't think a person should be judged by the colour of their skin, I personally have VERY strong feelings on this kind of thing, Don't tolerate it, sort it out now, before it gets worse, she's a kid, she shouldn't have to be facing this kind of hatred !

It makes you wonder where kids learn this kind of thing I know I wouldn't like it if I was on the recieving end of racism ! I honestly can not understand why there's so much of it these days

vindaloo

Depends who's doing it and why. Best answer would be for her to sort it out. If that's not an option due to age/sex/size/(lack of) intelligence of the 'oik' calling names, then take it up with the school.

J

Jerome

We do have High Schools in the UK (I went to two of them and a Comprehensive), just not all districts call them that. Some areas also have Middle Schools (one of which I also went to).

As for the racist abuse:

Write a letter to the Headmaster/mistress of the school about the problem and let him/her know you've sent copies of the same letter to the following:

The School Board
The PTA
The local council/authority
The local Education Inspectorate

If you really want to stir it up to:

The local MP
The local Press (the more of a rag the better)

I can't imagine the Headmaster/mistress not being galvanised into action when he/she knows that higher authorities have been informed.

As someone who had problems (albeit of a slightly different kind) at one school, I know how unpleasant it can be. In my case I challenged the ringleader to "sort it out" one on one. The problem disappeared overnight (showing what cowards most of them are). I doubt this is an option in this case though.

Remind your daughter that this whole thing is temporary. Her intellect will probably take her places, and in a few years time, she'll be having the last laugh over these cretins - I guarantee it!

r32

Is it just one child or more than one? Trouble is if you make too much of it the ones that havent heard the insults pick up on it too.
Sounds very much like jealousy to me. The only reason this happens is to solicit some kind of response, the best but most difficult thing is to just ignore it. If it gets no response then they will give up.
But you do need to inform the school authorities and best put it in writing.

Suresh

Poor girl. If it's affecting her then it really is best to report it. You'll need to be aware that no chav likes a 'grass' though, so be prepared for some teasing on that front instead. Truely a no-win situation I'm afraid.

Had much the same treatment myself, but was able to ignore it and not let it get to me as it was a v small minority who were doing it. A risky strategy could be for her to ask her friends to call her by a (funny) semi-racist nickname too and thereby take away the power from those who are hurting her. It's a risky strategy because the new nickname might stick! Might help your daughter to toughen up a bit too. As we all know in the end she's going to come out on top of all the lowlife around her.

Good luck to you.

Suresh

Brendan Hughes

I've no suggestions (other than report it), but best of luck.

ProperCharlie

very sad to hear ths.

i went to a school in a largely afro-carribean area. if any white kid used racist language towards blacks, they (literally) had the sh*t kicked out of them. however, racism against asians went largely unchallenged, as they were the smallest minority. i left after a couple of years.

if there are alternative schools with different racial mix in the area you are in, it might be worth considering moving. school can become a real nighmare for kids when this sort of thing goes on.

best of luck with it.

PS - Carl; I hope you get something sorted, too. don't let those 'arlow retards get away with it. most of 'em will be inside by the time they're 16, in any case

SomeDude

Good point (sadly).

Could you ask the teacher to do a lesson around this very topic ?

It's a very thin line, the kids aren't necessarily "racist", just ignorant. Kids always look for other kids to pick on (fat kids, big ears, ginger ones, different color/hair etc..) and hopefully it's a phase that goes away.

I would definitely have a word with the teacher first before escalating it though.

Don't get me wrong, I think this kind of stuff is sickening and cruel, but "bringing in the cavalry" might also have the wrong effect.

If nothing helps and the school won't listen, tell her to smack to biggest gob

gsm1

So they say, maybe they do, maybe they don't. I know in my day the teachers and headmaster couldn't give a care. I remember at least 3 teachers making racist remarks themselves and one laughing at a racist joke made by a school kid.

Speak to the head of the school and if that doesn't work try and speak to the parents of those kids involved. Trying to tell her to ignore it or all that 'sticks and stones' stuff is useless at her age.
I know of another couple's (Dad - white, Mum - Indian) daughter who suffered from racism and as a result didn't want to be seen with her Mother near school.

StickyMicky

i went to high school myself?

first, middle and high school

plus pre school

unclebuck

Was always Infants, Junior, and Senior in my day. Guess we've been Americanised then.

UB

gsm1

I always knew them as Nursery, Infant, Primary and Secondary school.

Brendan Hughes

Ours was classed as a secondary school.

Its title was Nower Hill High School.

Nothing like an educational institution to make things clearer, is there?

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

First off, PLEASE don't go down the road to reporting it to everyone before giving the school chance to act. All that will do is back the school into a corner and give it loads of bad publicity. For all you know, they have a good strong policy in place, and will stamp it out straight away. I know my wife, who is a local primary headteacher, is VERY firm about racism. Zero tolerance is about it:

A phone call to the head will probably be enough!

Hope you get it sorted.

Alcazar

Leslie

This behaviour, although it tends to happen amongst schoolchildren, is intolerable.

As Jerome says, I should go straight to the Head of the school and report it. Tell him you want it stopped or you will report it to all the authorities concerned, and the local press if necessary.

I hope that the school will successfully stamp it out.

Les

Chip

Kids have always called each other names. Remember the Rhyme "sticks and stones". Nobody complained years ago, they just got on with things.

These days any thing remoteley linked to colour had to be called racist. It's not, it's just kids being kids in most cases. Like a ginger being called "ginger" or a kid with big teeth being called goofy,No difference IMHO.

Chip.

MooseRacer

As you daughter is, not surprisingly, upset by racist taunts then I would have a chat with the headmaster in the first instance.

As alcazar said, give the school a chance to sort it before doing anything else.


There is no reason why she should have to put up with it or just get on with things imho.