Madjay2

can the police do anything about someone intimadating you?

FLAT ERIC

iTrader: (1)

I would think, depending on the circumstances, that the new ASBO system could be used.

Mark.

Madjay2

and what would that be? this guy has had a disliking of me for over 10years but now that he has got himself fit and built up he has some sort of vendetta against me. i thought when people grew up they started to act sensibley. the guy is actually a few pennies short of a pound which doesnt help much either. to be honest im more unhappy with the thought of having to go into work with a black eye as i dont think customers would appreciate it.

hedgehog

1997 Protection from Harassment Act.

Makes actions that any reasonable person would deem to be harassment a criminal offence.

Report such incidents to the police, get a crime number and follow up asking what action has been taken. They should be able to arrest the offender if necessary as the Act makes this a criminal offence. If they don't take action then ask why or make a complaint.

For some reason the police seem reluctant to act upon this Act and so can need encouragement. However, depending on your exact circumstances it might work for you. The text of the Act is on the web somewhere, run Google over it.

FLAT ERIC

iTrader: (1)

Anti-Social Behaviour Orders.(ASBO)

Anti-Social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs) were introduced from 1 April 1999. Their purpose is to target activities which disrupt the lives of individuals, families or communities.

http://www.crime-reduction.gov.uk/asbos4.htm

Oh & hi Tony.

Mark

ajm

Out of interest, what is he doing exactly?

Audi-Boy

have you got a paint ball gun?

turboman786

fLat eric...ASBOs tend only to be used for those who are persistent offenders...ie those with numerous convictions for anti social behaviour...

Madjay2

"Out of interest, what is he doing exactly?"

the jist of it is and this is it very simply put his family and mine used to be very friendly but my family got rich and his not, his mother is the jealous type so him and his young sister where taught to hate my family due to jealousy. its a bit pathetic in this day and age imo

FLAT ERIC

iTrader: (1)

Agreed.Posted whilst awaiting "depending on the circumstances".

If he is a serial intimidator your options are more open.As others can back up your story.

If only the odd flare-up at you personally then much harder to get enough proof to make a case.

Then it's a matter for a large mate to have a quiet word.

Madjay2

"Then it's a matter for a large mate to have a quiet word."

i have plenty of large mates, but its not a course of action i believe is wise to take

ajm

Welcome to the ajm school of underhand, manipulative and cynical psychotherapy!

In this scenario (and still not knowing exactly what he is doing so I am assuming its just body language, nothing physical):

I would offer the hand of reconciliation, if you can bear to. If you can't bear to then make it look convincing!

a) It will be the last thing he expects
b) It will reassure him that you are not a threat - that is the reason he has bulked up and is putting it about, because its the only way he can counter his perceived threat.
c) It will show him that contrary to what his mother says you are decent bloke and you are not above showing him some respect. Prove her wrong and you destroy her credibility and hence his source of hatred.
d) He is jealous of what you have. Being mates again will give him a part of what you have in his eyes.

The old addage about keeping your enemies closer applies. Drive a wedge between the hag and her broom!

If this fails then you have three options:-

1) Pre emptive strike. Higher chance of initial success. Chances of longterm bitterness boiling over again also high however (unless you are willing to take it further than you let on).
2) Status quo. Keep carrying your anxieties, hope the day of reckoning never comes
3) Prepare yourself such that if he ever takes it too far you will be able to end it there and then. Only you know how best to do that.

Hope that helps! I should do a "Claire Raynor" spot on Richard and Judy!

Spoon

Dependant on area policies, but generally the police will first have a word with him first about his behaviour, if it continues they will serve you both letters warning you of possible action.

You get one stating you shouldn't goad him into such behaviour even if you haven't.

If it continues, then the law can take action.

Madjay2

i dont know how he see's me as a threat though cus i wouldnt say boo to a ghost and everyone knows it. im the type of guy everyone owes a favour too if u know what i mean, when i told a friend about this his first reactions were, where does he live? but really thats just not me because where does it end?

unclebuck

Nah! They might be able to do something about someone *intimidating* you though.

UB

ajm

Not a physical threat necessarily, a threat in so far as he sees you as having something unobtainable to him and that it is out of his control. The oaf sees things that are out of his control as threats. You are also a threat due to the fact that his mother is more interested in your achievements than his.

Threat and jealousy and very closely entwined

His actions of physical strength are to make up for weakness elsewhere, that's all I'm saying. If you are clever you can use that to your advantage.

Edit: so what about the reconciliation idea?

Madjay2

i've tried talking to the fella, he see's nothing but red, so basically if he goes near me he will be seeing the police and letters from my solicitor. thats all i can really think of doing.

as i said to be honest getting a tap doesnt really bother me because even for all i know i could beat him in a fight(sounds very playground but thats what it boils down to) i just would rather not let myself down my turning up to work with a black eye or a swollan lip.

mad_dr

Sorry to hear you're in this situation mate - can't be fun at all...

I'd go for the reconcilliation thing and if he rejects it, explain that the reason you're trying to put a stop to it is because he's leaving you no other option but to involve the police.

If you're as nice a guy as you say, you could even do the "I know you're intelligent enough and mature enough to be able to put this behind us". May seem like swallowing your pride, but it'll only seem like that to HIM.

I can apologise to someone and TOTALLY not mean it. If they think I've swallowed my pride and that they've won - more fool them! I won when I got them off my back without hitting them...

Good luck whatever you decide mate.

lightning101

Bury him in a hole full of wasps and then burn him alive with optimax / Nippon / Ant Powder / Nuke Him.