"Mother in law from hell" advice required
23 December 2003, 12:47 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Ok so shes not my mother in law yet! but she will be soon.
She looks after our kiddies one day a week (Tuesdays) and regularly drives them about whilst running errands (sp?). She has told my "missus" that she will be loading up her Espace with some business supplies which are stored at a shop (in the cellar). However whilst shes getting the stuff from the cellar back to the car shes going to leave the kids on their own and leave the car unlocked "incase theres a problem"!!
FFS - they're only 4 and 1 years old. Their 8 year brother will probably be helping her so wont be in the car either.
Now should I say something to her directly as the gf feels awkward doing it herself but also doesnt want me to get involved as her mother and I have never seen eye to eye?
[Edited by Scooby96 - 12/23/2003 12:48:18 PM]
She looks after our kiddies one day a week (Tuesdays) and regularly drives them about whilst running errands (sp?). She has told my "missus" that she will be loading up her Espace with some business supplies which are stored at a shop (in the cellar). However whilst shes getting the stuff from the cellar back to the car shes going to leave the kids on their own and leave the car unlocked "incase theres a problem"!!
FFS - they're only 4 and 1 years old. Their 8 year brother will probably be helping her so wont be in the car either.
Now should I say something to her directly as the gf feels awkward doing it herself but also doesnt want me to get involved as her mother and I have never seen eye to eye?
[Edited by Scooby96 - 12/23/2003 12:48:18 PM]
23 December 2003, 12:50 PM
#2
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 528
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Tell her you won't be needing her to look after the kids, simple as that.
Either she's looking after them or she has something else more important to do, not both.
I know its very unlikely that anything would happen but I don't think its on leaving a 1 year old baby in an unlocked car that is out of your sight!
Either she's looking after them or she has something else more important to do, not both.
I know its very unlikely that anything would happen but I don't think its on leaving a 1 year old baby in an unlocked car that is out of your sight!
23 December 2003, 12:53 PM
#3
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I get so mad with the stupid biatch - have made my feelings clear that I will be going round to see her if I find out shes not taking proper care of them and her seeing them will stop forthwith
23 December 2003, 01:24 PM
#6
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 362
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Get her told!!!!! There yr Kids!!!
Not a clever thing to do, leaving kids in unlocked car. Whilst no one is there. It would be a different story if one goes missing!!!! Apologies for being so blunt. As above look after the kids or Get the supplies!!
Albert
Not a clever thing to do, leaving kids in unlocked car. Whilst no one is there. It would be a different story if one goes missing!!!! Apologies for being so blunt. As above look after the kids or Get the supplies!!
Albert
Trending Topics
23 December 2003, 02:02 PM
#9
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 809
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Am I the only one thinking look after your own f*cking kids?? They're your responsibility ffs!! If one of you doesnt want/cant give up work then pay for them to be looked after by a nursery or a Nanny. As far as I can see your mother in law is doing this for free - so either talk to her nicely about the problem of leaving them in the car, or offer to pick up her goods for her in return for her looking after your kids for free.
23 December 2003, 02:04 PM
#10
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Cardiff. Wales
Posts: 11,758
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Dont want to worry you even more but I have seen a car catch fire whilst parked up with no-one in it. Now, if your kids were in it when this happened.........................
Chip
Chip
23 December 2003, 02:06 PM
#11
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Where did I say shes doing it for free? Don't assume what YOU consider to be the facts
Shes paid handsomely actually!
Oh I forgot if the gf's family were helping us out for free that gives them the right to compromise my kids safety
Edited to say:
Sub97 - the added problem is when my gf does say something she dismisses her as being over protective / dramatic!!
[Edited by Scooby96 - 12/23/2003 2:08:01 PM]
Shes paid handsomely actually!
Oh I forgot if the gf's family were helping us out for free that gives them the right to compromise my kids safety
Edited to say:
Sub97 - the added problem is when my gf does say something she dismisses her as being over protective / dramatic!!
[Edited by Scooby96 - 12/23/2003 2:08:01 PM]
23 December 2003, 02:09 PM
#12
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Staffs.
Posts: 1,273
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Hello mate, I have a similarly interfering mother-in-law to-be. Very frustrating I know but I've taken to saying what I feel it right rather than asking my other half to do it. At the end of the day, you're marrying her daughter and not her.
23 December 2003, 02:13 PM
#14
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Cant wait for the day she's told her daughter is marrying me - ha ha ha, that'll wipe the smile off her face
Oh and when we tell her we're moving to France next year ('05)
Cant wait, but must be patient
Oh and when we tell her we're moving to France next year ('05)
Cant wait, but must be patient
23 December 2003, 02:20 PM
#16
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nobody knows how to tie the simple knots that I know
Posts: 8,010
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
just wait until the g/f turns into her mother then you'll be sorry 
interfering inlaws are a bit of a pain. why I had to buy a flat that ended up being 5 miles away from the now inlaws I don't know !
interfering inlaws are a bit of a pain. why I had to buy a flat that ended up being 5 miles away from the now inlaws I don't know !
23 December 2003, 02:35 PM
#20
Scooby Regular
Never had a problem with my MIL. Until we had kids. 
When the 1st came on the scene, she was hailed a "miracle baby" ( for reasons I won't go into), so of course, the proud grandparents (all around - we're married) couldn't get enough of her.
At the same time, I'd had the unfortunate circumstance of having to re-train (going from a £60K+ per year job, to about £6K - needless to say, my self-confidence was rock bottom)
To be told "can't you go and find a job, so that I can look after *****" didn't go down too well. Regardless of the context it was meant in.
That's one of many examples of interefering, but I HAD to say something to her. It caused an awful lot of grief, and for the next 2 years, things were very patchy. But they're MUCH better than they were. They felt that I'd hurt them, and vice versa. Nasty, nasty business.
I'm glad I did it for the ONLY reason, that now we have a 2nd kid, I'm not going through the same sh1te twice!!!! Now things are MUCH better.
In fact, it's safe to say, almost better.
My advice is simple. Keep a FIRM open line of communication between the parties. They're YOUR kids, so ultimately, your responsibility. What you say, goes. End of story. BUT, whatever you say, do it as a couple - a united front.
If the other parties don't like it, tough ****. Get over it. 9 times out of 10, it's purely, over-enthusiasm.
Hope this helps
Dan
Edited to say, that the post read as though we don't get on now - quite the opposite!
[Edited by ScoobyDoo555 - 12/23/2003 6:49:50 PM]
When the 1st came on the scene, she was hailed a "miracle baby" ( for reasons I won't go into), so of course, the proud grandparents (all around - we're married) couldn't get enough of her.
At the same time, I'd had the unfortunate circumstance of having to re-train (going from a £60K+ per year job, to about £6K - needless to say, my self-confidence was rock bottom)
To be told "can't you go and find a job, so that I can look after *****" didn't go down too well. Regardless of the context it was meant in.
That's one of many examples of interefering, but I HAD to say something to her. It caused an awful lot of grief, and for the next 2 years, things were very patchy. But they're MUCH better than they were. They felt that I'd hurt them, and vice versa. Nasty, nasty business.
I'm glad I did it for the ONLY reason, that now we have a 2nd kid, I'm not going through the same sh1te twice!!!! Now things are MUCH better.
In fact, it's safe to say, almost better.My advice is simple. Keep a FIRM open line of communication between the parties. They're YOUR kids, so ultimately, your responsibility. What you say, goes. End of story. BUT, whatever you say, do it as a couple - a united front.
If the other parties don't like it, tough ****. Get over it. 9 times out of 10, it's purely, over-enthusiasm.
Hope this helps
Dan
Edited to say, that the post read as though we don't get on now - quite the opposite!
[Edited by ScoobyDoo555 - 12/23/2003 6:49:50 PM]
23 December 2003, 02:51 PM
#23
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nobody knows how to tie the simple knots that I know
Posts: 8,010
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
so, you aren't welcome in her house and yet she complains as if she feels unwelcome in yours??? FFS what does she expect!
Bad luck mate, she sounds worse than mine.
Bad luck mate, she sounds worse than mine.
23 December 2003, 02:54 PM
#26
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: from a land thats cold and wet
Posts: 2,088
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
sounds very like mine actually
she wont come in our house now because i told her not to hide things in cupboards thats not how we tidy up
2 years ago LOL
she wont come in our house now because i told her not to hide things in cupboards thats not how we tidy up
2 years ago LOL
23 December 2003, 03:51 PM
#27
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Staffs.
Posts: 1,273
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
We woke one morning when the MIL was staying to the sounds of tidying from downstairs - very scary !
[Edited by Goochie - 12/23/2003 3:53:28 PM]
[Edited by Goochie - 12/23/2003 3:54:22 PM]
[Edited by Goochie - 12/23/2003 3:53:28 PM]
[Edited by Goochie - 12/23/2003 3:54:22 PM]
23 December 2003, 04:00 PM
#28
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The trouble with my nearly MIL (ewww thats so close to MILF 
uke: ) is that she tried to attack me with a riding crop years ago.
My crime - breathing I guess
[Edited by Scooby96 - 12/23/2003 4:02:06 PM]
uke: ) is that she tried to attack me with a riding crop years ago.My crime - breathing I guess
[Edited by Scooby96 - 12/23/2003 4:02:06 PM]
23 December 2003, 05:49 PM
#29
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 5,280
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Isnt it all crap. Stick to your guns cos I dont think you can win in these situations - just please YOURSELF. (disclaimer this is my view this week)
Me? Well G/F doesnt want to go to my parents this Xmas - wants a nice stress free 'at my home' Xmas. Told parents this and it goes down like a lead balloon. Add in the fact that they desparately want to again see the 3 month old and the balloon sinks even lower. They however refuse to do 250m trip to stay with us for boxing day on 'cos of sciatica'. They have just been to Jersey & solid walking the streets Xmas shopping many times...
I am going OINC OINK OINK in the middle I'll be selfishly enjoying some fine red and cashews with no stress about me this Xams - it's as good as it gets!
[Edited by Diesel - 12/23/2003 5:51:40 PM]
)Me? Well G/F doesnt want to go to my parents this Xmas - wants a nice stress free 'at my home' Xmas. Told parents this and it goes down like a lead balloon. Add in the fact that they desparately want to again see the 3 month old and the balloon sinks even lower. They however refuse to do 250m trip to stay with us for boxing day on 'cos of sciatica'. They have just been to Jersey & solid walking the streets Xmas shopping many times...
I am going OINC OINK OINK in the middle
I'll be selfishly enjoying some fine red and cashews with no stress about me this Xams - it's as good as it gets![Edited by Diesel - 12/23/2003 5:51:40 PM]
23 December 2003, 06:10 PM
#30
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 1999
Posts: 1,320
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Must be the luckiest bloke in the world. Get on very well with the outlaws as my wife does with my parents. They babysit for us loads and are more than happy to have the kids overnight...
As to the original question, no I personally wouldn't leave the kids in the car on their own with it unlocked, but if your relationship is that bad I don't see you resolving it by having a quiet word.
Best suggestion is to get professional child care which will probs cost you more than your MIL. Child minders have to have all sorts of checks these days.
Dave
As to the original question, no I personally wouldn't leave the kids in the car on their own with it unlocked, but if your relationship is that bad I don't see you resolving it by having a quiet word.
Best suggestion is to get professional child care which will probs cost you more than your MIL. Child minders have to have all sorts of checks these days.
Dave
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Sam Witwicky
Engine Management and ECU Remapping
17
13 November 2015 10:49 AM
gazzawrx
Non Car Related Items For sale
13
17 October 2015 06:51 PM