mj

I hate cold callers, especially feckin yanks trying to sell investments...

just one minute ago..by the way, Anthony is my father & Boss..


Rind Ring...Rind Ring...Rind Ring...

Me: Hello [ company name]?

Yank : Hello, Is anthony there?

Me: Whats it regarding please?

Yank : Is that anthony?

Me: No, Whats it regarding please?

Yank : Its new business for anthony, is he there please?
Me: Yes, you will need to be more specific before you can speak to him

Yank : I really need to discuss this with anthony

Me: well, he's in a bit of a meeting at the moment

Yank : a bit of a meeting?

Me: well ok, he's in a meeting

Yank : so is he in a meeting, or a bit of a meeting?

Me: FCUKOFF

slams phone down, nearly breaking it in two.

we get these pr1cks all the time, from all over the world, trying the same bullsh1t.

any suggestions on how to p1ss em' off without getting wound up?

workshy_fopp

Ask them if the call is being recorded. They will say yes. Then say record this F@)%$**
Swearing is the best option.

PG

if you do a search you will find that MarkO iirc posted a link to a site where you reg. and no longer get calls.
Worked for me

mj

done it - the telephone prefernce srevice.
done it for the fax,the phone,thepost etc. The amount of sh1te we get certainly has dropped off but we still get the bl00dy calls, mostly foreign now.

maybe they don't need to use the TPS database by law?

NotoriousREV

Telephone Preference Service. Stops 99% of the calls and when you tell the remaining 1% that you're registered with the TPS they hang up as quick as they can.

fast bloke

sign up for telephone preference service - If someone cold calls you and you complain they get a 5k fine and you get compensation.


Alternatively make them think you are really interested - suck them in that you are going to give them a big pile of cash for 10 minutes and then hang up while you are still speaking. They will call back a couple of seconds later..
Them - Hello - Is that the guy I was speaking to a second ago?
You - erm - nope
Them - Is there someone else there on that number
You - nope I am the only one in the office
Them now devestated that they have lost a sale due to phone glitch
You LYAO

mj

fast bloke - like it

from now on whenever I hear the tones of the yank I will be the "anthony"

SJ_Skyline

Keep getting "Boiler room" type calls:

Yank: "Hi buddy, can I speak to the managing director"
Me: "He's just stepped outside, can I help?"
Yank: "Well buddy we have an opportunity here, we"
Me: "Thats nice, not today thankyou, Buddy"

oh, and the energy company in Bangalore:

Iain: "Good morning, how can I help"
Call Centre: "click, click, ring, ring"
Iain: "Hello automated dialler, how are you today?"
Call Centre: "click, click, ring, ring"
Iain: "I am hanging up now"
Call Centre: "I am sorry, I am calling on behalf of some energy company, who pays your electricity bills?"
Iain: (choose from any of the following) - "My dad", "Out Landlords", "Nobody, we are self sufficient", "God", "We don't pay, we default"

Old_Fart

Tell double glazing salesmen you are very interested in a conservatory, make a date and a time, then tell them you live in flat 37, 9th floor, peckham towers. Love it.
Anyways, I really need this telephone prefernce service thingy..hate cold callers [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
C

Andy Tang

iTrader: (3)

Only because it's you Chuck: TPS

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

One of my mates has a brilliant way of dealing with these people.
He lets on he's really interested in whatever they're trying to sell, then tells them to hang on as there's someone at the door.

He goes away for about 10 minutes, then comes back and if they're still there, lets them continue for about 10 seconds, before "a pot is boiling over":

Another 10 minutes and he's back.
Few, if any, will last more than 20 minutes:, but if they do, more people are at the door, the kids are fighting, the TV is on fire etc etc..
Alcazar

Hong Kong Phooey

we get this yank bloke ringing us every week. Used to **** us off but we now wind him up & actually look forward to his calls!!

yank: can I speak to [MD's name (which he can't even pronounce)]

me: no. he's not in at the moment. can I help.

yank: no. i need to speak to him. when will he be back?

me: who's calling?

yank: he knows who it is.

me: no he doesn't. he doesn't even know you called.

yank: when will he be back.

me: I don't know. leave your name & number. i'll pass it on.

yank: i don't have a number.

me: how can you be ringing here then?


You get the drift??!! Keep'em on the phone for a while & wind 'em up. We have a great laugh now when he phones. It's the same caller every time. We eventually got his name as Geoff, but haven't wangled a number from him yet. LOL.

mj

keep em' coming, I am looking forward to the next one alraeady

We have the worst "on hold" music you have ever heard - should do the trick

SJ_Skyline

Must get into the on-hold software and upload some slipknot

sammyh

iTrader: (1)

Get them all the time but they ask for me not my boss who is also my old man, they act like they've known you for yeards and they are your best mate [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] quite often finnish the call with a 'look just **** off'

edited due to crappy spelling

[Edited by sammyh - 11/14/2003 12:48:13 PM]

mj

Sammyh,LOL

like me, subtlety is your middle name

messiah

WE've got a caller Id thingumy - any that come up "number unavailable" dont get answered.

just registered with tps.

Tim-Grove

Hey that my trick

http://www.scoobynet.co.uk/bbs/threa...=212335&Page=2

6th post down

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

or even better still blow a whistle down the phone he won't ring back again
Cheers
Colin

Tiggs

said it before but.....


you are not pissing them off!!!! just yourselves!

they call hundreads of people and the odd **** is just water of a ducks back to them...the only person getting irrate is you!

chill out!

T

ps- cold called for years....earnt lots and never gave the clever ones with witty one liners a second thought!

Cupramax

Being responsable for IT spend at a large company I get deluged with sales calls day in day out. I can smell a sales call at approx 200 miles now but you have to give some of them their due for trying it on....

The ones that get lippy with the usuall put offs get put on indefinate hold either that or transfered to my automated answering system that kicks in a night press 1 to be disconnected, 2 to be verbally abused ROFL

[Edited by Cupramax - 11/14/2003 3:37:44 PM]

Tim-Grove

It certainly wasn’t "water of a ducks back" to the guy who cold called me about that conservatory The key is to never lose you rag just lead them on for as long as possible then at the very last moment let them in on the joke. Great laugh if you have the time to spare if not just put the phone down without saying a word.

Scooby_simon

I have used the :

'this call is being recored so I can refer you to the.....'
'This call is being recored so I can confirm all details when I take you to court'
'This call is being recored so I can back up any warrenty claims'
elc...elc....