Dr Hu

A uncle who I was very close to, died very suddenly yesterday.

I would like to read out an eulogy to him at his funeral, but I know I will find it difficult if not impossible to get through it.

Any help or tips to carry this off?

Or would I be better asking the minister to read it on my behalf?

Sorry for the morbid post.

David Lock

Sorry to hear about Uncle. I did one recently for my dear old mum and was in exactly the same doubt. I typed up a page and a half in first person tense and another in third party. i.e "I would just like to say a few things...." and "David has asked me to say a few things....." I handed the third party one to the minister and said if I get stuck please take over. In fact I got through my own version (just) and I think the trick is to read it out aloud at home many times and, on the day, try to be an "actor" and distance yourself a little bit from the script. Hope this helps. D

red_dog104

Sorry to hear of your loss . I have never had to do this myself but I know a few people who have. They have all said that they got through it by reading the words on the page and distancing themselves by concentrating on getting it right instead of thinking of the person it is about. I don't know if that is anyhelp and in the end, do what you think is right. If you aren't up to it on the day then don't do it. I'm sure everyone will understand.

RB5320

First of all, sorry to hear of your loss.
I have unfortunately had to do this twice. All I can say is do try to make the effort. Everyone will be in full support and if you get upset - so what? I would suggest keeping it fairly brief, take your time and have a glass of water close to you.
I tried to keep the reading fairly lighthearted. This is a depressing time but it is worth remembering that a funeral service is a celebration of life too.
I hope you get through this ok.

Steve

blair

My condolences as well.

Focus on the good things, on the happy stuff, the good memories that your Uncle leaves behind.

It is a sad event but should also be a celebration of your uncles life and the impact he had on those around him

I'd also echo the practice lots before hand

I'm sure it will all go well

Andy

Markus

Sadness at the loss

It's very difficult to do this kind of thing. My grandfather died a few months ago and I was asked to read at his service, it was difficult, but i got through it ok. All the advice I can offer is to try not to think about why you are standing there reading, might sound a little cold and harsh, but it may help you to get through it. I'd not back out of doing it as you may regret it, I know I would have done if I'd not read.

DRUNKNORGY

Sad for the loss of anyone close, but you can't change things that have happened, As the others have said, celebrate his life and try not to commiserate on his passing. I don't want anyone crying at my funeral, I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted it either. You'll do ok. Good advice from the others BTW.

Ash

hades

Firstly, condolences on the loss.

Secondly - I've done two in the last year and a bit for Grandparents, so here's a few tips that may help, although all these things are personal and different things work for different people.

First tip - read it through a lot of times before the funeral. I found it very hard to get through it in practice the first few times, but I found it got a bit easier with practice. Second tip - try and concentrate on something like projecting your voice so those at the back can hear, rather than the occassion and what it means - worry about that when you've finished. Third tip - if you're struggling, take someone up with you. For the second one last year, it was my cousin who was going to do the Eulogy, but I went up with her, and took over when she was struggling. You can draw strength from each other. Finally, remember that family etc who are listening are with you, and will be proud of what you are doing, no matter how well it goes.

Hope that helps?

daiscooby

Very sorry to hear about your loss.

Good advice so far. I have done this a few times during my time in the Army.
Focus on the good, pay homage to his achievements. But most of all ,and the hardest thing, get across what this person meant to you and how he touched and changed your life.
Rehearse till you can do it without reading the paper.