CarpetCleaner

ok little debate for the afternoon....I think women should stay at home and bring up kids if they have them and not pursue careers

this would mean more jobs for men
children would get the attention and discipline they need
latch key kids would be no more

society would benefit as a whole

boxst

Hello

How about re-phrasing that to "One of the parents should stay at home" ?

Steve.

Shy Muppet

Wot about women who work from home - like me?

CarpetCleaner

yeah why not....nothing s*xist here

mj

good idea shy - if wimin can stay at home and earn money its a bonus. If mine could do that I give her one extra portion a month - that would make it two.

Shy Muppet

Dave P

Personally think in an ideal world one parent should stay at home. Sadly we don't live an ideal world and the government don't seem to give a flying fig about the family. The best way to be in this c

How many partners have to work just to make an extra couple of hundred quid a month after child care costs etc, when the government could let the working partner use the tax allowance of the non working partner. For many this may be just the difference.

Dave

CarpetCleaner

Dave P

if you are a single lesbian parent you get all the help you need

however staying on topic the tax allowance for the non working parent would make a lot of difference to me

Dave P

CC,

My point entirely. Have you gone and got Toddler Taming yet?

Dave

CarpetCleaner

what is toddler taming?

Tracey

I am lucky enough to have been able to stay at home to bring the kids up, lucky that Paul has a job that brings in enough to have a decent life.

I have enjoyed being at home with them, I have never been career minded anyway. Now they are all at school I do miss them and do get bored sometimes in the day, I look forward to half terms. I have thought about getting a job but then I have the problem of who will look after them in the holidays (the kids don't want to go to holiday clubs).

But in todays world it isn't possible for every family to be able to survive on one wage.

Cheers

Tracey

fast bloke

I stay at home, wifey goes out to work. Luckily she drops the kids at the childminder on the way, or I would never get any posting done.

My wife doesn't actually need to work. She works 15 hours a week cos she enjoys it. Kids go to childminders cos they enjoy it. I work cos they all spend all my money

red_dog104

I go to work because we need the money. I'd gladly stay at home if I could. I don't object to men wanting to be the 'bread winners' and expecting their tea on the table when they get home as the 'wifey' has been home all day, but I do object to them expecting the same when 'wifey' has also been out at work all day!!

Touched a nerve there!! I'm off to pull my hair out!!!

MichelleWRX1994

I much prefer a career to kids.

I am just not maternal in any way! I have had experience of kids with my cousins' and old landlord's kids and that is all I want!

A career is certainly an easier choice and you also get paid for it. Kids, you most certainly do not get paid for looking after your own and are fecking messy creatures.

I would certainly love to stay at hime AND have a job that I could do at home, but I would still leave the kid bit out of the equation.

mj

Red,

My GF is a nurse - and moans her t1ts off when she has to cook my tea after she gets home after a 14hr shift - I wouldn't mind I not a fussy eater, a full english breakfast usually does the trick as I'm more often than semi-p1ssed when she gets in.

She usually comes round to my way of thinking after administering a large reprimand though, so I shouldn't really complain.

marty_t3

I manage to earn just enough to support my g/f and our baby but in the furture i know that unless i can start earning more money my girlfriend is going to have to go out and get a job if we are to keep our standard of living.

We've argued about it countless times and she insists that she'd rather be skint all the time, stay at home and spend all her time with our child. One reason she gives is that she doesn't trust any childminders (she watches too much TV and believes every word she hears on the daft sensationalist journalism).

I'd rather we both worked, lived comfortably and still spent plenty of time with sprog. My parents both worked full time when i was a child and i don't think i lacked attention from either of them. On top of that, i'd rather have the extra cash put aside for a rainy day and be able to bring up our child with a better standard of living.

Anyone got any ideas how i can change her mind?? None of my arguements seem to be getting through to her.

red_dog104

mj, OUTSIDE!!!! NOW!!!!!! You are gonna get a severe beating for talk like that!!!

mj

I wish I was joking, but I'm afraid its true.

Never was a big fan of "girl power".

Kosy

iTrader: (2)

mj lmao!

Diablo

Absolutely.

If you want to have kids it should be law that one parent of whatever sex has to be a full time carer at home for the kid/kids.

If you can't afford that then you shouldn't have kids - period.

Advantages?

- Frees up jobs in the workplace
- children are properly cared for and supervised
- Under resourced family units don't breed for the single purpose of shafting the benefits system.
- family tax credit and child benefit abolished, saving billions that can be put to better use

Downsides?

Single parent issues. Guess they would have to be permitted to work, but then the money saved above could be spent on (among other things) resourcing proper child care facilities for those who genuinely were single parents through death/separation or other valid reasons.

Single parents through sheer carelessness would be shot

D

P1Fanatic

Gotta agree - too many people have kids and expect big hand outs. If you cant afford it then dont have em. Its not a right, its a privelege. Just because you have chosen to have a child it doesnt mean that every other tax payer should pay to bring them up.

I want to have my own house sorted and some decent savings before I even contemplate having kids.

Simon.

Diesel

Marty - sympathise mate. I'm making noises about having future hols in Preston, buying only streaky bacon and sticking remoulds on the Scoob if the missus 'retires' when the kid comes. And she doesnt like the sound of that huge drop in standard of living at all

Leslie

I agree with you CC. I bet most of the troubles from children these days stem from having both parents working. It is a basically natural situation for the father to earn the cash and the mother to take care of them at home,even in these brave new "enlightened" times. It has got to be a bad thing for very young children to be left to their own devices with both parents at work.

Les

daiscooby

As a thought.....
I was a child born in the sixties, and I was in an environment where only my father worked. My mum stayed home and looked after me and my brother and sister. This was the norm for my generation and most previous ones. So how do we explain the sixties, the excesses of the eighties and the millions of people who seek counceling and phsyciatric help these days.
Do the sins of the parents condition society ?.
I suggest not. I suggest IMHO that it is the society that conditions the kids.
Some of the biggest criminals I grew up with had sound law abiding god fearing parents, who brought them up no better or worse than I was. But still they went on to be anti social and commit serious crime.
But I do feel that the ' one parent family ' is a different issue. I got divorced in 1992 when my children were 5 and 7. My son who is the younger is a model child in all respects. My daughter the eldest is a hellcat, and a real problem. My ex and I have never argued or had any issues, and I see my kids three times a week even now. But I cannot help think that the three years my ex was without a partner had some effect on my daughter.

ProperCharlie

If my other 1/2 could bring in 100k a year I would happily stay at home. I'm a better cook and better at housework than her in any case. Plus I know how to use an iron and where to find it

Charlie.

ianc

I agree with the original statement, in that *someone* should stay home, and my partner agrees also. She has never been a "career girl" and prefers that. It's what *works for us* and thats what matters.

As long as both parents are happy, and the welfare of the children is at the front of their mind, then what ever works, live and let live.

Single parents with multiple children of multiple fathers and screw the benefit system.. should be steralised!!

bubblegum

Interesting this.
I expect most people that say you should not have kids if you dont have enough money, are probably the same sort of people who set other peoples wages at such low levels that means that they end up relying on state handouts

If the Government allowed the working partner to claim the tax allowance of the partner that stays at home then this would solve alot of the problems faced by young familys where they find themselves trapped in the benefits system untill they are both able to work full time.

It is no good in this day and age of high house prices saying that people should not have kids, if they can not afford them. For in the majority of cases, it would end up as the top earners only having kids and then who would maccy D's employ to flip their burgers etc
If house prices where at an affordable level then probably there would be more cases of one parent staying home untill the children are at least 12, but in the current climate most familys are caught in the trap of not having enough unless living in cheap council/private housing already, where they are only paying £200 a month rent when compared to a private sector rent of £800 a month and so do not need to claim housing benefit to make up the shortfall in the family income.
I do the unauthordox thing of being a father that stays at home to look after children while my partner goes out to work. I have found that it is not all it is cracked up to be, being a Mr mom. Being shunned by the Mums picking up there own kids from School is par for the course, but who can blame them, I mean I would not be happy if my other half was having regular coffee mornings/shopping trips with another bloke when I was out at work. I trust her, just not other blokes

Days can go by when you have no adult conversation and so it can be very depressing. On top of looking after small kids and making sure my other half gets to and from work, I work from home which makes it even harder to get to meet people, as I am often working well into the night to do what I have not managed to get done during the day.
There is light round the corner in that soon all my kids will be in full time education and so I may be able to get some work done in the daylight hours and also maybe make some friends who are not worried what the gossips or what their respective other halfs will think by having a bloke round there house when they are at work and the kids are in class.

As for both parents being at work causing the majority of societys problems, I dont think this is true. Sure there are cases of bone idle parents who do not discipline there children apropriately from the start. Jump on the small things from a great height and children will be warry of disobeying you as they get older, sure they still are naughty but being a kid is about learning about life and learninng how to be a child. A child is not born knowing what is, and is not acceptable behaviour, this has to be learnt and if they are not taught correctly from a young age then this is where most of the problems will start. However if there parents where not taught what is and is not acceptable then what chance do the kids have? The trouble is that we all have different view points of what is ok determined by your up bringing so to judge CHILDREN on what they do is wrong, it is the parents resposibility to instale respect, a sense of community and of partnership in there kids.

Also society does bear some of the responsibility of there being unruly children, for if society is not able to offer and show compassion and tolerance then how will people on the edge of society be brought back into its midsts, also if society is of the opinion that if you have not got enough dosh then you are worthless these people will become dis encharted if not already so and the intolerance of society is carried on into the next generation. Also if the parents are so busy working long hours as the boss wants the next important order out/project completed or they simply want you to work 16 hour days for a pittance and so the family life suffers, is it any wonder that kids turn out bad.

What is the answer to all the worlds ills? Communisim in its true sense but as man is involved in its running, this will never happen and so we all chase the next paypacket hoping that we will be in a position to one day be able to judge others and set the standards that they should live by, as they have got less than us.

Who is really happy in this world? is it the tramp who has nothing or is it us who seek out the latest technology fix in this consumer society. Maybe I shall become a Hermit in a cave and then I can be truely happy Oh hang on I would have to make sure it had central heating and running water and carpets, here we are back where we started chasing lifes comforts. I therefore feel that it is the human condition to want more and more and to never be satisfied with what we achieve in life unless you are of the belief that material things are not what is important in life but the family is no matter the cost. There I think is the difference in people the haves and the want NOTS, who do not care that you have the latest DVD player or the biggest exhaust pipe. For they have seen that what is important in life is life itself and there is no greater job you can do than to bring and raise another life into this world.

Some of my views have only come to me after some terrible life experiances I have been through and am continuing to go through, but we all have set backs in lifes great game and maybe they are wrong and maybe they are right, who knows. But, I am sure in the fact that I would never dare to suggest who can and can not be a parrent based just on how big the paypacket is.

To answer the question, should women stay at home?
apsobloodylutely

Diesel

Great post bubblegum - the best I've seen on Scoobynet for a loooong time (my goodself excepted of course )

Quote >>I therefore feel that it is the human condition to want more and more and to never be satisfied with what we achieve in life unless you are of the belief that material things are not what is important in life but the family is no matter the cost.<< End quote

This is so true in the West, particularly N America, and is constantly underlined and impressed upon us by advertising and the media. Just wait as to what level of campaigning is to come next in UK if the ads in the emotianal blackmail type US ads are a guide. TV? 'Extreme Makeover' anyone? Win life threatening surgery, primetime. I digress off topic however...

There is a balance between having a housebound no-income wife once the kids are at school though - I do NEED that next new big better exhaust once I've clothed and fed the kids

D

beemerboy

hahahh i think some people would love to be in that position.

BB

Leslie

Excellent post Bubblegum.

You are right Diesel about the encouragement for material possessions, usually by firms who would love to lend you the money to buy them.

If you wish to have children, you should be prepared if necessary to make sacrifices in order to bring them up responsibly. Like my parents, who never had very much, did. My sister and I will never forget that.

Les