Bravo2zero_sps

Probably done to death on here and as old as they come so I apologise to all the scooby in a lake gang but it makes me laugh every time. For anyone who hasnt seen it b4 -


Subject: What do women really want?
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> > > > > Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the
> > > > > monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could
> > > > > have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful
> > > > > happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he
> > > > > could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would
> > > > > have a year to figure out the answer; but, if, after a
> > > > > year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.
> > > > >
> > > > > The question was: What do women really want?
> > > > >
> > > > > Such a question would perplex even the most
> > > > > knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an
> > > > > impossible query. Since it was better than death,
> > > > > however, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have
> > > > > an answer by year's end.
> > > > >
> > > > > He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
> > > > > everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests,
> > > > > the wise men, the court jester.
> > > > >
> > > > > In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give
> > > > > him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell
> > > > > him was to consult the old witch, as only she would
> > > > > know the answer. The price would be high, since the
> > > > > witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the
> > > > > exorbitant prices she charged.
> > > > >
> > > > > The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no
> > > > > alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to
> > > > > answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price
> > > > > first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most
> > > > > noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's
> > > > > closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was
> > > > > hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth,
> > > > > smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises.
> > > > > He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He
> > > > > refused to force his friend to marry her and have to
> > > > > endure such a burden.
> > > > >
> > > > > Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with
> > > > > Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a
> > > > > sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
> > > > > preservation of the Round Table. He relented, their
> > > > > wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered
> > > > > Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be
> > > > > able to be in charge of her own life.
> > > > >
> > > > > Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a
> > > > > great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
> > > > > And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared
> > > > > Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.
> > > > >
> > > > > What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was
> > > > > torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as
> > > > > always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her
> > > > > worst manners on display. She ate with her hands,
> > > > > belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable.
> > > > >
> > > > > The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself
> > > > > for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a
> > > > > sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever
> > > > > seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked
> > > > > what had happened. The beauty replied that since he
> > > > > had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch),
> > > > > half the time she would be her horrible, deformed
> > > > > self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful
> > > > > maiden self.
> > > > >
> > > > > Which would he want her to be during the day and which
> > > > > during the night?
> > > > >
> > > > > What a cruel question!
> > > > >
> > > > > Gawain began to think of his predicament: during the
> > > > > day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but
> > > > > at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky
> > > > > witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous
> > > > > witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many
> > > > > intimate moments?
> > > > >
> > > > > What would you do?
> > > > >
> > > > > What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until
> > > > > you've made your own choice.
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> > > > > Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for
> > > > > herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she
> > > > > would be beautiful all the time, because he had
> > > > > respected her and had let her be in charge of her own
> > > > > life.
> > > > >
> > > > > What is the moral of this story?
> > > > >
> > > > > The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is
> > > > > pretty or ugly, smart or dumb. Underneath it all,
> > > > > she's still a witch. And if you try to control her
> > > > > life, things will get ugly.