Hanley

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result.

He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 streets to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.

"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

Claudius

Mean as I love' em! LOL

Steve Howat

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he's just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little ****, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible
lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself; didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Steve Howat

Whilst I'm at it...

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing", says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."

Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy?

Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

lol keep 'em coming I am bored

Hanley

Don't you just love 'em

Fat Boy

Why are Irish jokes so stupid?

























So the English can understand them.

P1Fanatic

Ooh hit a nerve did we ?

Fat Boy

You could say that.

I don't know which is more irritating, the racism or the age of the jokes.....

Chip

Why is that racism. Thought it was fact that the Micks were thick.

Chip.