Steve Williams

Just thought I would start this thread, due to funny stuff you see driving in towns.

How many times have you seen a F1 grid start at the traffic lights in the high street??

How many of those were by totally mismatched motors?

Got any funny stories about them (or if you have been "burned up" by some granny in a metro )?

Steve Williams

Start it off...

Saw one today, an X plate BMW 318i and a M plate astra van......

Lots of reving before the lights changed, a little wheel spin...............


And the van won, at least until the next set of lights.......

So juvinile, but a great laugh to watch.... such kids.... only problem was both were middle aged and the beemer was driven by a woman..... still kids though.

ndouglass

I remember years ago when I was a nipper, my parents had a Ford Cortina Estate and my Mum was wicked off the lights with that. She still swaers to this day that it was a great car for getting away from the lights, she has yet to try my WRX

If she was 30 years younger Michael Schumacher would be shaking in his boots.

I get the usual cars (XR?, Nova, Saxo) pulling alongside at the lights and revving the engine as if to say "Come on then!! I'll have you" I just look at them and laugh as they screech away in despair.

Neil

Aero

there was a fella i used to work with who swore blind his dad's double decker could 'burn off' an x3ri from the lights.

I wonder what the passengers thought...

bennetm

Had a guy next to me in the lights in an Almera GTi, he had a mate in the front and 2 fit blondes in the back. He clearly wanted some and they were all looking over, so gave a wink and a smile to the bit**es and left them standing!


Priceless...

Mark.

Andy Hall

My brother got stopped for racing a perfect Pizza moped of the lights in his Cerbera 4.5, He hadn't even noticed it was there (and certainly wasn't racing)

The other one goes back to my youth when my mate had a Fiat 850 sport (Arbarth). Next to us a 3L Capri pulls up with side pipes, jacked up with furry dice, interior etc. Capri man starts reving up an hopping forward. Anyway lights go green mate takes the Fiat up to about 7000 and steps off the clutch, Capri man does the same. Fiat squats down and dissapears. as we get past the lights on the other side of the road, the Capri is still there - Smokin out. He didn't bother at the next set, just sat there tuning the radio and playing with his gear stick

Andy

GaryC

I have some fun in my 330d

NAF

i bet you do M8

John Stevenson

I blew off a Merc 3.0L 24Valve Coupe in a Clio 16V I used to have, the guy was gesturing for me to put the window down at the next set of lights. I assumed there was going to be a shouting match, ended up swapping cars so that he could have a shot

[This message has been edited by John Stevenson (edited 30 March 2001).]

mattstant

first night i got my scoob 5 door turbo
took a mad keen dutchman i know for a spin.
anyway as i said it was my first time out almost and along side me pulls an old shape 2.0i cavalier and he starts revving it ( I Think he saw me from behind and took the rear of 5 door to be an accord estate or something as he should really have known better)my dutch mate eggs me on and as the lights go green i let fly!!!! or not as I had in my excitment left it in second (a bad habit from my 306 D turbo days).
So while i scrabble for 1st off goes the cavalier feeling smug he must have had 15 yards start on me only it was the first time i had planted my right foot in anger, and no test drive i had previously been on had prepared me for what happened next.
I floored it my hands almost came off the steering wheel Edward the dutchman nearly shat himself and i shot past the cavalier like he was standing still.
I just caught his expression of open mouthed disbelief in my rear view mirror.
The grin was stuck to my face for days afterwards.

Scruff

Pi55ed myself laughing when a mate tells me he just saw an M3 being eaten alive by a Morris Minor. He reckoned it had a V8 in it.

This happened to me on Thursday:
After a few back roads at decent speeds behind a Fiat Bravo/Marea(I think) with a fit looking blonde driving it nearly on two wheels around the corners we hit a strip of dual carriage way with the overtaking lane blocked off. She proceeds to fly down the bus lane , so I think to myself maybe its open to cars because of the roadworks so I follow he 1" from her bumper. We come to a set of traffic lights side by side. I have my window down and I can hear her revving the engine so I decided to give it a go. I let her take off about 15 feet and then I give it loads and pass her as if shes stopped.Wont say what speed I was doing by the time I had to stop for the next lights but it was fast. She eventually catches up and pulls along side me. She beeps the horn at me (I think maybe she wants to have my children) and waves a special branch Police badge at me and smiles as she says SLOW DOWN. I had to laugh, there was this blonde good looking 30 something copper egging me on to have a dice. Thankfully she just drove on with a big grin.

Ry

This one sounds obscene but.... We used to have a maestro van at work it was sooo funny I had to buy it when the boss suggested scrapping it when the radiator turned into a pile of soggy dust, this van had been toyed with a bit by us when we were bored, by the time we finished its spec was:
2.0l diesel meastro city van
Standard white and orange rusty body and 13" wheels
Hybrid Turbo running at 20 psi!
Charge cooler
Custom
Custom "sports exhaust" including tubular manifold
Injectors robbed from a truck and modified to fit, with heavily modified fuel pump.
Gas flowed cylinder head!
Power output 206Bhp at the wheels at 4000rpm
and enough torque to pull tree stumps out. In a van that weighed nothing!
It was a hoot to drive, LOLSS, the faces of XR drivers and sales reps when you bounced past them and left them choking in a cloud of black soot! All that and it did 40mpg
Unfortunatly it died a death in the floods when I drove through some deep water and hydrauliced the motor!!! It was a good job 'cos I was getting well tired with it it was the most uncomfortable "car" I have ever owned-but one of the fastest.

Steve_Yeowart

A few years ago before the scoob I was following a 1300 supersport fiesta we were approaching a set of lights which were two lines going to one the other side. The only other traffic was in the inside lane at the light and was an HGV tractor unit (Ie artic minus trailer) the fiesta pulled up along side. As the lights from the opposite direction go red the tractor unit starts belching black smoke and rocking side to side. The lad in the fiesta start revving his engine

amber.....


green.....


and there off and the HGV is into the first corner first!!!!

I couldn't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!

RB5SCOTT

I had one the other day with my mates R6. Full throttle at the lights, not much wheelspin, perfect start i thought but i was surprised that that little R6 stayed level with me in first gear. I changed into 2nd and he was gone.

I thought i could of stayed ahead a bit longer but i was wrong, but i made up for it on the brakes and corners

Luke

Scruff.

Ref: your mate story about Morris Minor. I heard that in England some guy has one with all sorts of mods including a E-type rear axle I think. It does not look standard. When PORSCHE brought out the 959 in Germany .During a press launch this guy turned up and blew the PORSCHE away. Rumour had it they paid him to ***** off !!!!

DARREN

Two blokes at work own Escort RS Turbos 184bhp and 191 bhp and they say that they would blow me away from the lights!!!!,me MY96 STi.
We went out they let rip and..............
Just sat there.....me Easy pull away from about 4000 revs Seeeeeeee yahhhhhhhhhhhh

Steve Williams

Should hope you all USED to do the grand prix starts from traffic lights (but now you have grown up and see the error of your ways )

Thanks for the input though, just a thought, how many have seen the 'grandad/ grandma from hell' that tried to burn off someone in a high performence car, and when they couldn't just drifted into the side of the other car (or tried to), seen this a couple of times, quite worrying since who is mr Plod is going to believe.... the young performance car driver, or old dear in a metro/ fiesta/ micra...??

polarbearit

Ok most mismatched traffic light GP an E reg Astra and my mate in his MY99 UK PPP scooby. Easy then, scooby wins, well NO, Scooby faster off the line due to grip. But at 30 the astra is right behind us. We drove past all other traffic and pulled in when we were overtaken whilist my mate was doing 140+mph. Scary stuff, I should add that the astra hangs around swindon and is blue with a courtney sticker on windscreen. Looks awful, my mate was deeply humiliated by this though!

The most frightening non-accident related motoring experience I have been involved in! It was a while before I got in the car with my mate again, and he has vowed to save for a skyline so he isn't embarrassed at 140 mph by an astra again!

Tractor

Very amusing stories lads - I have not yet raced anyone away from the lights - nobody with a car that can get to sixty in less than 5secs has tried it on - I just sit there and laugh at them as they bounce of down the road in their saxos.

By the way polarbearit - Couteney - probably Courteney turbo - they stuff highly tuned 2.0 litre Vauxhall Turbo lumps into, well, other mismatched Vuaxhalls - beware, 300bhp+ is possible.

GP

lol.. - that astra does indeed have a Calibra Turbo lump slotted in

MattOz

The most amusing thing about traffic light G.P's for me is when I'm on my bike!!

Any car, and I mean ANY car that thinks it's quicker to 30 has another think coming

Matt

Mulder

The Problem with you lot is that you all WIMP OUT, when something that IS as fast pulls up next to you!




200sx Dave



[This message has been edited by Mulder (edited 02 April 2001).]

astraboy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by polarbearit:
<B>Ok most mismatched traffic light GP an E reg Astra and my mate in his MY99 UK PPP scooby. Easy then, scooby wins, well NO, Scooby faster off the line due to grip. But at 30 the astra is right behind us. We drove past all other traffic and pulled in when we were overtaken whilist my mate was doing 140+mph. Scary stuff, I should add that the astra hangs around swindon and is blue with a courtney sticker on windscreen. Looks awful, my mate was deeply humiliated by this though!

The most frightening non-accident related motoring experience I have been involved in! It was a while before I got in the car with my mate again, and he has vowed to save for a skyline so he isn't embarrassed at 140 mph by an astra again![/quote]

Just remember chaps DO NOT underestimate the power of a well sorted Astra or you WILL regret it. Courtney are now doing V6 conversions and I am sorley tempted.

mutant_matt

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by MattOz:
<B>The most amusing thing about traffic light G.P's for me is when I'm on my bike!!
Any car, and I mean ANY car that thinks it's quicker to 30 has another think coming[/quote]

Only to 30 Matt??? What bike have you got??? My Thunderace is basically quicker to it's top speed (163) than (I think) almost <B>ANY</B> producation car around You don't even have to try to kick someone's **** off the lights, or indeed pretty much at any time - heh heh heh

I did race an MY98 Scooby last Summer though and he was really trying (I could here him quite well ) and I was impressed that I didn't blat past him quite as quickly as I'm used to going past cars

I did give him a friendly wave before he lost sight of me though.... When I'm in my Scoob, I don't even think about trying it on against any bike 'cos I know I'll loose - badly!!!!

Matt

Andy W

Dave
200sx?

Eh?
Whats that all about then?




Andy &lt;flame suit on standby&gt;


[This message has been edited by Andy W (edited 02 April 2001).]

Nate-old

Not traffic lights exactly , but I beat a BMW 535 Alpina Bi-turbo (supposedly) into a pulp , when I stopped to see what car it was exactly , his excuse for his cars poor acceleration was 'It needs a Service' .

Nate.

DMB

Got passed on a dual by an evo6 doing 120+ closely (2-3m) followed by a delta integrale thought that was bad enough (daytime & rush hour) but then they started weaving in and out of the traffic

that sort of thing gives us all a bad name

polarbearit

300 bhp with a Mk2 astra chassis. Why why why why why? Really I would have thought that sort of power in any vauxhall would be leathal!

Dream Weaver

I recently got battered in my Rover 216 (115bhp - certainly no slouch) by a yellow 4 door Reliant Robin

It had full cage and some sort of Turbo motor in from the sounds of the very loud dump valve - probably Escort RST engine in a plastic car!!!

DW