druddle

Telboy probably posted this last week but it made me laugh...

Do You Know Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who the hell Jack Schitt is. We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt you don't". Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an informative way.

Jack Schitt was the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt the owner of Needeep N. Schitt. Their son Jack was wedded to Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:

Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents wishes, Deap Schitt married her cousin, Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After 15 years together, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe later married Ted Sherlock. She became known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married a Loda Schitt and shortly after had a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable thoughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper proclaimed the Schitt - Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when anyone tells you, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct the ignorant *******s with your family tree knowledge of them.

Yours sincerely
Crock O Schitt